Subjective Humanity
by SpammishRice
Summary: What defines humanity in an age where humans can be made in a lab? Bio-android developer Captain Nara Shikamaru finds out when two of his creations have out-of-body experiences, of sorts. Shika/Hina, Naru/Tema, NaruTemaShikaHinaKanky
1. Retrieval

_Through the endless days and nights  
She waited for a shiny new tomorrow  
Love was sleeping_

- _"Love Is Only Sleeping" by The Monkees_

* * *

"What's our ETA, Kiba?"

"The target will be within retrieval distance in thirty-five minutes, sir."

"Kiba, I've known you for fifteen years. Cut the formalities, at least when I'm the senior officer within hearing."

"Haha, sure thing, Shikamaru."

"What, you're not enjoying your promotion, sir? I would think the first Jounin Captain among us would at least make us clean his quarters or do his laundry."

"Then I'm glad I made Captain before you, Sakura. I don't think I want to know what troublesome chores you'll have everyone else do for you once you start moving up."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Eh, nothing. But I do have a couple of shirts waiting for pick-up at the dry cleaners, now that you've reminded me."

"Hmph, you're lucky I've got a skirt waiting there too, _sir_."

"So it seems. Give me an analysis on the target, _Haruno_."

"Heart rate… normal, breathing is steady, though mechanically assisted."

"Shino? Your end?"

"I still have not obtained access to her personality-based UI, and have no neuro-electronic readings, but that is not surprising considering we're trying to remotely access a target sitting in the middle of an asteroid field. I would assume her breathing is assisted due to her recent thaw, but I'm the engineer. Sakura-san is the med."

"And as the ranking med here, I can attest that it has nothing to do with the thaw. We started the thaw process as soon as we had remote access. When was that, Kiba?"

"An hour and a half ago, at least."

"Then she should've started breathing on her own a minimum of one hour ago."

"And that's accounting for the fact that she's been in cryosleep for three weeks?"

"We've left soldiers in cryo in deep space for months-long spans, and a handful for years. I know what I'm talking about, Shikamaru."

"Right, right."

* * *

Orbiting the largest rock in the asteroid field was a lone gunmetal-gray fighter, reflecting a slight violet gleam from nearby stars, as its owner intended when picking out the ship's color. At first glance, it looked abandoned, but upon closer inspection a small person-sized pod was visible, attached inconspicuously to the rear of the hull.

A few multi-colored lights twinkled on the dashboard of the pod, controlling and maintaining the conditions necessary for cryosleep. With a loud beep, the entire board lit up, and a rush of air filled the pod. Wisps of midnight hair blew away from a pale, sleeping face. A pair of lips turning blue and a few more beeps were followed by an oxygen mask quickly fastening itself on the girl's face.

And so the unconscious girl waited. Not much more could be done remotely, and her ride was on its way.

* * *

The carrier ship slowly and steadily navigated its way through the asteroid field, not without a few dings from man-sized chunks of rock and ice. There was no rush; the target had been waiting for three weeks. What was another few minutes?

Recently promoted Jounin Captain Nara Shikamaru scanned the floating rocks, allowing an extra second or two to study the largest ones. It was unnecessary with Jounin Lieutenant Inuzuka Kiba navigating, but he did it anyway. It was similar to cloud-watching, except it was permanent night, and the objects being observed could easily destroy the Captain's spiffy new ship he so cleverly named _Keima_ for his favorite Shougi piece.

"I have visual confirmation of the target, sir," Kiba announced over his shoulder to Captain Nara. And he received his name on a long-suffering sigh.

"Kiba…"

"Ah, sorry, sorry! I see the target, Shikamaru. Better?"

"Much." Shikamaru smirked at his own informality. It was his ship, he could run it as he saw fit. And with quite a few of his old academy friends as his ranking officers, he could have everyone call him Shika-cakes if he damn well pleased, as long as there was no other brass in sight.

He turned to his officers, his trusted friends. Both engineer Aburame Shino and medical officer Haruno Sakura were Tokubetsu Jounin, the highest rank one can achieve in a specialized corps. Not only did he attend the academy with them, he also worked closely with them on a successful project that put him in the fast lane to Captaincy and commanding one of the Konoha fleet's most advanced ships that he was privileged enough to have a hand in designing.

"We've approached the target, Shikamaru. We can safely guide her into the hangar, just give the word."

"Thank you, Kiba. Reel her in and let Lieutenant Sarutobi know that we're on our way down."

* * *

Chuunin Lieutenant Sarutobi Konohamaru had seen his Captain run of his own volition three times in his life. The first time was when Shikamaru was a young teen and had taken Asuma-jisan's cigarettes in an attempt to save him from emphysema. The second was when he was 18 and finally beat his father at Shougi. This was the third time and it was still startling as ever, though more humorous with the jingling metal attached to his shirt front displaying his status and achievements. However, Konohamaru quickly gathered that something must have gone wrong if Shikamaru had the top officers of the engineer corps and the medical corps running down with him. With a worried frown, he immediately turned to his control board to detach the pod from the battle-worn fighter as it powered down.

By the time Shikamaru, Sakura, and Shino reached the dock, Konohamaru was already heaving open the pod. The girl inside laying inside was still unconscious and breathing through the oxygen mask—not a good sign. Shino and Sakura brushed past him, Shino inserting what looked like earbuds into the girl's ears that connected to his handheld computer and Sakura poking and prodding wherever she could reach.

"I am still unable to access the UI or take neuro-electronic readings. I initially believed this to be a glitch with the remote control system, however I am more inclined to deduce that she has sustained a head injury," Shino reported.

With careful hands, Sakura moved to confirm or deny Shino's deduction. "I don't see any visible head wounds, no significant bumps or bruises," she said, before her hands trailed to the base of the skull and pressed lightly down the subject's neck. "The vertebrae are aligned properly to the third thoracic. I can't reach further without moving her," she concluded. Shikamaru already had a team waiting to transport the comatose girl and was conveying instructions.

"You heard Tokubetsu Jounin Haruno. The initial injury report is inconclusive, so move her carefully. Notification and further instruction have been sent to the medical bay. Just give them her ID information, they'll know where to put her," Shikamaru directed.

"What is the subject's identification, sir?" the lead Chuunin transporter asked.

"Bio-android H-1178. Given name, Hyuuga Hinata."

--

**Author's Notes:**

First off, thanks for reading! This is my first attempt at fanfiction, so I'd appreciate constructive criticism, if you have any. I doodle more than anything, and if you've ever visited my DeviantArt page, you'll know that this story will eventually be ShikaHina. :D Just thought I'd point that out before people get their hopes up for something else.


	2. Perhaps There's a Warranty?

Forgot about this in the first chapter...

**Disclaimer: **Characters belong to Kishimoto Masashi. If they belonged to me, you best believe Hinata would be _pimpin'_.

* * *

_In the year 6565  
Ain't gonna need no husband, won't need no wife  
You'll pick your son, pick your daughter too  
From the bottom of a long black tube  
_

_- "In The Year 2525" by Zager and Evans_

* * *

"_Gaara! Get your ass down here already! We're pulling Temari in!_"

The Kazekage didn't so much as twitch at his brother's announcement blaring through the communicator on his desk. The same could not be said for the head of the tactical division and his assisting officer sitting across from him, though the young leader did give them credit for retaining eye contact with him through the meeting's interruption. Just for kicks, Gaara held their attention a little longer with his usual dead-eyed gaze. When it looked like they were ready to soil themselves, he broke the silence.

"You are dismissed."

"Yes, sir!" and they bolted out of the room.

Gaara, sure that his subordinates were gone, allowed a near-silent chuckle as he stood up to head down to the hangar. It had been a long three weeks without their older sister, and if the Kazekage shared the same boisterous personality as Kankurou, he would have been just as obnoxiously excited. But he was content to quietly relish his relief at her arrival; his older brother was obnoxious enough for the both of them.

The Kazekage never showed it, but he was worried to his wit's end for Temari. That last battle took its toll on his forces, but he took it in stride, repairing his battleship, sending his injured soldiers back to their families, and sending the unluckier ones back to their families in caskets. Yet, being so close to losing his sister was the most terrifying thing he had ever experienced, and he knew Kankurou felt the same. Sometime during the last battle, her fighter had sent a distress signal and automatically traveled to a preprogrammed destination where she was put in cryosleep, but that was all the information Gaara had received. Their only comfort was knowing that she was safe where she flew off to, assuming she wasn't already dead upon freezing.

Now that he was really thinking about it, he found it somewhat funny that he'd only had his sister for six years. Technically, she was younger than him and Kankurou. As a matter of fact, though she looked a slightly older than her brothers, she was only a quarter Gaara's age. But the young men referred to her as their Neesan, to honor the memory of whom inspired her creation, and simply because she really did look after them as an older sister would.

Gaara briskly exited the elevator to the dock and walked toward the small crowd of people surrounding the open pod, which he found was morbidly reminiscent of a wake or funeral. Jounin Lieutenant Sabakuno Kankurou was the first to notice his approach and met his brother halfway.

"Oi, Gaara, I'm not sure, but we might have a problem."

"What's the situation?" the Kazekage inquired.

Kankurou looked like he was debating how to word his response. "Temari's, uh...still unconscious."

"...Oh." The Suna leader was expecting something terrible, like their sister came back with half her body missing. He turned and began walking toward the circle of engineers and medics again, Kankurou matching him stride for stride.

"She looks uninjured, and nearly one hundred percent of people who experience cryosleep, as long as they're uninjured at the time of freezing, wake up within the first hour of thawing," Kankurou informed his little brother.

Gaara thought for a moment before speculating, "But we have to keep in mind two crucial factors. First, that no matter how much we see her otherwise, Temari is not exactly human. Second, she's been in cryosleep for nearly one month. For all we know, this could be normal."

"But Gaara, she can't even breathe on her own!" Kankurou retorted.

They had reached the pod and Gaara observed the medics and engineers. The latter were busy trying to hack into Temari's user interface, the young woman's earbuds hooked directly into a computer. One of the medics stepped up to the Kazekage with his report.

"Sir, after a preliminary examination, it seems Temari-san is without injury. Even her flight suit looks to be entirely unaffected. However, I would recommend running a full-body scan to check for internal damage, if I may request permission, sir."

"Please, by all means," Gaara responded without taking his eyes off his sister. She was far too pale.

Some random Genin, contributing nothing helpful but watching anyways, muttered, "Don't these things come with a manual?" Kankurou was quick to cuff him roughly upside his head. Gaara didn't bother to reprimand his brother, but mentally thanked him.

The tense silence was broken by a loud hum suddenly emitting from the computer, and Temari jerking and taking in a wheezing breath through her oxygen mask like she'd been underwater for days. The head medic hurriedly fussed over her, reviewed her vitals, then entered this new information into a handheld device. Kankurou and Gaara looked hopeful, but noticed that their sister was still not conscious. An engineer sighed wearily and turned to the Kazekage.

"We've managed to get her breathing on her own, sir. Unfortunately, we still have no access to the UI and our neuro-electronic scans show nothing."

"How did you get her breathing but not awake?" Kankurou asked.

"I'm sorry, we're not sure, sir. But with her respiratory systems online again, the computer is showing us more data that we can work with. With your permission, I would like to continue studying this data while she's situated in the medical bay, sir."

"Very well," Gaara responded, then turned to the medics, "Transport her to the med bay. Give her a private room with round-the-clock guard and limited access. No one will be allowed in the room other than the people standing here right now"

The nameless Genin stood up a bit straighter.

"Except you," Gaara finished. With that he turned and headed back to his office, Kankurou on his heels.

"Hey! Where are you going now?" Kankurou asked.

"To call the Hokage. They really should've given us a manual."

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**

**By the way, if you're wondering why I gave the Sand Siblings the last name "Sabakuno", it's because I'm following the punny pattern Kishimoto used for a few other characters like Umino Iruka (umi no iruka - "dolphin of the sea") and Haruno Sakura (haru no sakura - "cherry blossom of spring").**


	3. Cranberry Hackers

**Disclaimer:** "Naruto" and its characters belong to Kishimoto Masashi. If it were mine, there'd be ShikaHinaSasu and heteropaternal superfecundation. Anyone with a favorite boyxgirlxboy threesome should look that up (they'd love it).

* * *

_Well if I had my choice of matter  
I would rather be with cats  
All engrossed in mental chatter  
Moving where our minds are at_

-"I'm A Man" by The Spencer Davis Group

* * *

The sight before Sakura that morning when she walked into Hinata's hospital room didn't faze her. She didn't like it, but it didn't faze her. It had been three days and Shikamaru and Shino were still in the position she'd left them the day Hinata first arrived in the room. They had managed to get her breathing on her own within an hour of setting up the first day, but it seemed progress had all but stopped at this point. Sakura briefly wondered if they even bothered to shower since Hinata's arrival.

The young men had settled themselves on the floor at the foot of the comatose young woman's bed, her earbuds connected to long cords leading to two laptops sitting back-to-back on a makeshift low table, consisting of an empty rations crate and a plank of wood on top with longer and wider dimensions to increase the table's surface area. Shikamaru and Shino both sat cross-legged on cushions, staring intently at their screens, the long silences punctuated by the occasional key-tapping when it seemed some interesting bit of code flashed across the screen. Each man had an empty paper coffee cup surrounded by energy bar wrappers next to their left hands. The medic eyed the evidence of poor health habits, and approached with fresh coffee.

"Alright...Americano with an extra shot for the Captain," she replaced the empty cup and trash with the new piping hot beverage, "and a non-fat soy caramel latte with whipped cream, extra caramel for Shino," she finished, repeating her actions with Shino's drink. Shikamaru grunted his thanks without taking his eyes off his monitor, while Shino merely nodded. Sakura couldn't help but voice what was on her mind for the past few days.

"You know, Shino, I never took you for a man of girly drinks. I feel I hardly know you."

Shino didn't bother looking up from his monitor, but he had the courtesy to reply, "I assure you, I don't order such ridiculous concoctions normally. Caffeine alone has only a small effect on me, and I anticipated a long few days. I had to up the ante, so to speak, by combining caffeine with exorbitant amounts of sugar."

"Okay, but that doesn't explain--" Sakura was cut off.

"And I requested soy instead of the standard milk because dairy has more fats, which acts as a buffer towards the sugar. I want to absorb as much sugar as quickly as possible."

Shikamaru unhelpfully chimed in, "Basically, he wants it hard, and he wants it fast." Shino gave an indignant sniff.

Quiet reigned once more as the men continued to study garbled code on their screens. Sakura took the opportunity to check on Hinata's well-being. Assured that she was stable, the pink-haired medic stepped back outside the room to retrieve the other item she'd brought along with her.

The two haggard-looking officers nearly jumped out of their skin when a gargantuan cooler was dropped right next to their table.

"Shit, Sakura, we're already hyped up on caffeine! Was that really necessary?!" Shikamaru managed to croak out.

"Yes, it was. I've let you neglect your health for far too long. You cannot function to your maximum capabilities on energy bars and coffee."

"Tch, we weren't doing too badly. It's not like we've never done this before," the Captain grumbled.

"Well, not on my watch! I'm going to be nice and only take away the energy bars. However, if this cooler isn't empty in 24 hours, I'm taking the coffee away, too." And Sakura walked out, ensuring she had the final word.

Shino let out a little whimper, and Shikamaru blinked a few times before turning toward the cooler and opening it. It seemed Sakura went all out, because it was filled to the brim with healthful goodies: an assortment of whole fruits and conveniently cut-up vegetables, two individual serving-size containers of cereal, several bottles of water, milk, and juice, two large sandwiches stuffed till they were practically considered open-faced with meats, cheese, and veggies, and two even larger containers labeled with sticky notes detailing instructions to heat the food up in the microwave in the staff kitchen two doors down. That overbearing medic was even thoughtful enough to include disposable plates and utensils as well as a stack of napkins. All in all, it added up to three square meals with plenty of snacks.

"Well, looks like we start with breakfast," Shikamaru said, passing a container of cereal, bottle of milk, and spoon to Shino. The engineer glared at his caramel-ridden coffee.

"If I had known I'd be having milk anyway, I wouldn't have ordered this swill."

"But you have to admit, you were getting sick of the energy bars."

"I suppose." Shino continued to scan through jumbled code while eating, contentedly, if Shikamaru read his expression right.

_Probably tastes damn good compared to what we've had the last three days._

The Captain reverted his attention back to his monitor and started on his own breakfast.

_This code is nonsense. Everything up to the brain stem and cerebellum is completely fine, but it goes haywire and blocks off all access to the frontal, temporal, and occipital lobes, and most of the parietal lobe. Holy hell, was cereal always this good?_

And something struck him.

"Shino, do you know the parts of the brain and their functions?"

"The basics, yes."

Shikamaru got up, rushed over to Hinata's side table, and started rummaging through the drawer. When he had found what he was looking for, he went back and kneeled next to Shino, handing him a piece of paper and a pencil.

"Draw it for me."

The engineer quickly sketched out a brain and scribbled down the parts and their functions for his Captain, then passed the picture to him when it was completed.

"Perfect, thank you." Shikamaru studied it for awhile, furrowing his brow more so than usual. Shino knew what that meant—serious brainstorming. It was like being excited teenagers and testing android theory all over again.

"Have you found a solution to the UI lock-out?" Shino asked after a few minutes.

"Maybe. Let's try something a little different." Shikamaru turned the picture towards the engineer, and continued.

"We've confirmed we have access to almost nothing except small portions of the front of the parietal lobe, correct?"

"Correct."

"Okay, from what you've drawn, we can deduce that we have access to the part of Hinata's brain that processes taste. What do you think would happen if we started hacking while giving her something that forces that part of the brain to process?"

Shino caught on. "Occupying the taste portion of her sensory cortex would make it significantly easier to unlock the parietal lobe and the upper temporal lobe, thereby opening more doors and opportunities to unlock the rest of her brain."

They immediately dove for the cooler and studied its contents. Obviously, they couldn't feed Hinata solid food, or else they risked choking her. That left the liquids: water, milk, and a variety of fruit juices.

"What do you think?" The Captain asked the engineer.

"If I were to hazard a guess, I would think the strongest tasting beverage would force her to process more information, giving us a larger window to work with."

Shikamaru pulled out the cranberry juice. Water and milk had little to no taste, and the apple and grape juices were relatively mild. The sweet, tart cranberry juice was the best option. He moved to Hinata's bedside and opened the bottle, preparing to pour the juice in her mouth, before turning back to Shino.

"Okay, I'll pour this in, you start the infiltration. Ready?"

The engineer nodded, readying his hands over his keyboard. Shikamaru opened Hinata's mouth and poured a little bit of the juice in. Immediately, Shino started typing madly, lines of code realigning on the screen. Without looking up, he said, "Give her more juice." The Captain did as directed, and heard the typing continue with renewed fervor.

It took a little over an hour, and a few bizarre instructions to tickle Hinata's feet or yell in her ear, but finally, Shino stopped requesting more juice and his typing slowed down. "We now have complete neuro-electronic scans, and access to everything but the frontal lobe," he announced.

Shikamaru's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "That much? How did you manage all that?"

"The occipital, temporal, and parietal lobes all run comparatively simple processes. However, the frontal lobe is not only more complex, but also contains the user interface. We still have no access to the UI, and she is obviously still unconscious," Shino responded while stretching his stiff arms over his head.

The Captain went back to his cushion on the floor and pulled out the brain diagram. "So, personality, emotions, problem-solving, reasoning...they're all off-limits within the frontal lobe?"

"Correct."

"But comprehension of language is accessible in the parietal lobe?"

"Again, correct."

"And hearing is available?"

"In the upper temporal, yes."

Shikamaru paused a moment, and a confident smirk slowly spread on his face. "I think I know how get into the frontal lobe."

Shino's face remained expressionless; he would never let on he was lost on anything. The other man continued.

"When you read, you use language comprehension. When you read puzzles, riddles, and mysteries, you start delving into the problem-solving and reasoning parts of the brain."

At that, Shino caught on. "So, you're suggesting we read to her until she wakes up?"

"Essentially, yes."

"Then we'll need not only mystery books, but romances as well."

"Why?"

"To stimulate the emotional section of the brain. The more parts we stimulate in the frontal lobe, the better chance we have of waking her up and accessing the UI."

"Okay, then, that's settled." Shikamaru mentally cataloged his collection of books, then asked, "What's your library like?"

The engineer knew it was coming, "I do not own any romantic novels."

"Alright, go see if Sakura's got any. I'm going to give Ino a call."

* * *

**Author's Notes: **Thanks for reading! And yes, every single chapter will open with a song from the 1960s. Why? Because this entire plot and story idea started out as a crackheaded dream that looked like _Final Fantasy: Advent Children_ and had a soundtrack consisting entirely of music from the '60s. And I highly recommend listen ing to the above song, and picturing Shikamaru shuffling along in his trademark lazy gait. It's really amusing. :D


	4. Awakening

_Well, let me tell you about the way she looked__  
The way she acted, the color of her hair__  
Her voice is soft and cool__  
Her eyes are clear and bright  
But she's not there..._

_- "She's Not There" by The Zombies_

* * *

When Ino received Shikamaru's message requesting to borrow any romance novels she owned, she ignored it, and went back to tending the plants in the Keima's artificial greenhouse. When Shikamaru called again, she actually picked up the phone this time, wondering what on earth could be so important that it motivated the lazy captain to call twice in one day.

"I got your message. You want romance novels?"

"_Yes, please. If you have any."_

"What are they for?"

Ino didn't understand half of what Shikamaru droned on about, but she did get that Hinata was in a coma, and having trashy melodrama read to her might wake her up. That was all she needed to hear, and she tossed a dozen or so paperbacks with half-naked couples adorning their covers into a shopping bag and headed over to the medical bay.

--

Gaara was somewhat peeved that the leader of the largest and most powerful force in space was out of commission due to a hangover, but he got over it quickly when the Hokage's assistant, Shizune, helpfully offered to open up a conference call with one of the head developers of the bio-android project.

And so the Kazekage waited with his brother seated next to him in front of a large screen displaying the two other members of the conference call. At least, it was supposed to display the other two, however, Shizune had explained that the fourth party was in the middle of treating their own bio-android. The Suna brothers wondered to themselves if it was a good sign that Temari's Konoha counterpart was also experiencing technical difficulties.

Just a few minutes later, an out-of-breath Captain Nara sat in front of his camera on his desk and appeared before the Suna officers onscreen.

"I apologize for the delay, sir. I had to wrap up the treatment session and record the lastest neuro-electronic changes in H-1178."

"It was not a problem. Shizune was kind enough to update us on the recent happenings of your own battle-damaged bio-android," the Kazekage replied with a nod.

Shizune took the opportunity to bring Shikamaru up to speed. "Captain Nara, it seems T-3177 is experiencing the same problems as H-1178. By the Kazekage's account, when they retrieved T-3177 from the preprogrammed safe point, she was not conscious and could not breathe without mechanical assistance. They managed to get her respiratory system back online after extensive infiltration, but at this time, the engineers have had very little progress in accessing the user interface or even waking her up."

"Thank you for the update, ma'am. It sounds exactly like our own account of events," Shikamaru responded.

"If I am no longer needed, Captain, Kazekage-sama, I will take my leave now. The Hokage's office is a bit swamped at the moment."

Gaara answered for all of them, "That's quite alright. Thank you for your assistance."

Shizune logged off and her side of the screen disappeared. Not a second after, collars were unbuttoned and good posture went out the window. Kankurou, who hadn't said a word while Shizune was onscreen, finally greeted the Konoha Captain.

"What's up, Shikamaru?"

The pony-tailed man grinned at his old friends. "Surviving. How's it going with you guys? Led your forces to their deaths yet?"

"Not since Baki's promotion party," Gaara answered with a wry smile. Now, _that_ was a fun night. "Anyways, back to the purpose of our call. So, Hinata's going through the same thing as Temari. Have you made any headway in unlocking the UI?"

"Some. After a bit of creative hacking with Shino, we got everything open but the UI and frontal lobe. The treatments we've been doing the past few days are solely for regaining access to them."

Kankurou, who had been spinning in his chair in the background, stopped and addressed Shikamaru. "How'd you get that far? We've had our top engineers hacking for the past day and they haven't gotten more than one-third of the parietal lobe."

"Take a look at a diagram of a brain with the parts and functions labeled. Basically, we preoccupied the taste section of the sensory cortex, which made it easier to open everything else up."

"So, you fed her something?" Gaara asked.

"Sort of. I gave her small sips of cranberry juice while Shino worked his magic. Took a little over an hour, not that long."

"Can we use vodka?" Kankurou asked with a wicked grin.

Shikamaru snorted in amusement. "If you want her to vomit on you. A dozen or so shots of vodka within an hour is not something I would recommend."

"Damn, Temari would've liked that, too."

The Kazekage pulled the conversation back on track. "So what are you doing now with Hinata?"

"We're reading to her," Shikamaru answered, opening a drawer and pulling out what looked to be several books. "Specifically, mysteries and romances to stimulate the problem-solving, reasoning, and emotional parts of the frontal lobe." He held one of Ino's trashy novels up to the camera. Gaara looked somewhat ill, but Kankurou answered for them both.

"Oh, you have got to be shitting me."

"I shit you not," smirked the Captain. "Read in shifts, non-stop, and alternate the genre."

"I call dibs on first shift, mystery genre," the Kazekage announced.

"Dammit, Gaara!"

--

Jounin Lieutenant Hyuuga Neji sat in an armchair by his cousin's bedside, reading some god awful romantic crap that he was more than a little embarrassed to be reading aloud. But it was getting a reaction according to the neuro-electronic scans, so he forged on.

"Vanessa, tears cascading down her flushed cheeks, grasped Benjamin's toned forearm and would not let go. 'Please! You mustn't leave me! Not like this!' Benjamin turned back to her with shining eyes, voice raw with desperation and denial. 'You cannot possibly believe that we--_this_--will be so easily accepted!'"

_Oh dear God_. Neji had to take a break before he gagged. Perhaps Lee would have been better suited for this. However, Neji had taken on a reading shift because he was already visiting Hinata regularly. Though he had no doubt Lee would have jumped at the chance to read romantic stories to a pretty, albeit comatose, girl, he didn't want to take him away from his duties. On that note, Neji wondered how Shikamaru and Shino read to Hinata, and he had to stifle his snickering when he saw through the room's window the Captain of the _Keima_ himself arriving. The lieutenant immediately rose from his chair and stood at attention as the door opened.

"How's it going, Neji?" The Captain asked, closing the door behind him.

"Hinata's neuro-electronic scans are improving, sir. I was just reading from one of the various literary choices provided by Haruno and Yamanaka, sir."

"I keep telling you that's not necessary. I hardly warrant a 'sir'," Shikamaru muttered, then picked up the book resting on the arm of the chair.

"_Forbidden Affections_, eh? Funny choice."

"How so?" Neji asked.

"Um, never mind. Just a dumb little joke. Not even that funny, really."

"If you say so, sir."

Neji received a quirked brow in response.

"I apologize. But Shikamaru, you really should accept your title already. You don't think it's strange, and blatant favoritism, that you allow a small group of your subordinates to address you informally, while everyone else must follow protocol?"

"But I don't view you as my subordinates, I see you all as friends. The rest of them I don't know and they don't know me, so our relationship is strictly Captain and subordinate."

Neji frowned. "Just don't get caught by the brass."

"I'm not stupid." Shikamaru casually leaned on the door frame. Neji remained standing; even if his superior insisted he wasn't his superior, he would at least show respect by standing alongside him.

"Hey Neji, I just got done talking to Gaara and Kankurou, and I wanted to get a second opinion."

"I'll help in anyway I can." If Shikamaru ever needed a second opinion, Neji understood that whatever was on the genius's mind must have wound itself into something ridiculously complex.

"You know about the bio-android project from six years ago. Remember Temari?"

"Sure. Built for the Kazekage to strengthen the alliance with Suna. Why?"

The younger man turned and looked at Hinata, as if her prone body would provide answers. "Hinata and Temari are having the exact same problems. Both were in the aerial fight with Sound a little over a month ago, and both were jettisoned to their classified safe points after sustaining significant injury. When they were picked up, both showed absolutely no _physical_ injury, but both had near complete lock-outs to their brains."

Neji had to admit, the nearly identical events and symptoms seemed to be more than coincidences. However, the picture wasn't complete. "Do we know what they were doing at the time they redirected to the safe points? Were they separate, or did they have a common single enemy?"

"That's what's been bugging me, along with hundreds of other questions. We can't figure any of it out until Hinata wakes up."

--

Kankurou had been sitting at his sister's bedside, reading at a barely audible whisper some lovey-dovey shit borrowed from Gaara's former student, Matsuri. It would've been her shift right now, but Baki arrived a few minutes too early to his own shift last week, only to find the young brunette reading a romance novel to Temari while replacing the main characters' names with the Kazekage's and her own. When Gaara was informed by his assistant and his highly amused brother, Matsuri was soundly, and quite impersonally, booted from the already short list of readers. Kankurou thought his younger brother was overreacting, perhaps out of embarrassment, but Gaara insisted it would be detrimental to Temari to have her processing horrendous soap opera-like scenes while picturing himself.

The Lieutenant had to admit Gaara had a point. He wouldn't know what to do if his sister woke from her coma only to believe that he randomly rode horses along beaches, never buttoned his shirt higher than his navel, and made a hobby of seducing shoe cobblers' daughters.

The shoe cobbler's daughter he was currently reading about was on the verge of confessing her raging lust to the hero of the story, when Kankurou heard the steady beeping of the neuro-electronic scanner suddenly speed up. That only meant one thing, and the man jumped up from his seat, reached into his shirt pocket for his communicator, fumbled with the buttons, and finally got the youngest of the Sabakuno on the line.

"Gaara, where are you?!"

"_I'm on my way to the med bay. I know you hate reading to Temari, but seriously, I'll be there in a few minutes for my shift."_

"No, no, it's not that! I think she's waking up!"

The line disconnected, and not half a minute later, the Kazekage burst through the door followed by Baki, both panting heavily.

Once the two composed themselves, the room went silent but for the scanner beeping at near-frantic tempo. It was possibly the most agonizing two minutes for the brothers, but slowly, the beeping slipped into a calmer rhythm, and Temari groaned. Legs shifted restlessly under the blanket, and eyelashes twitched before fluttering open. With squinting eyes and creaking joints, the young woman managed to sit up without assistance, since all three men were frozen, wide-eyed and staring at the living miracle before them.

Her eyes landed on the men, and Kankurou could swear she looked...confused. Oh, wait, he thought he saw a flash of recognition in her expression, but she was definitely still confused. He didn't blame her, she'd been out of it for over a month. But she did something no one had ever seen her do: blush. And it wasn't faint. It was bold, and it was spreading down her neck, below the neckline of her hospital gown. Something seemed to strike Temari then, and she looked down at her body, then looked at her mentor and brothers with wide, horrified eyes.

And screamed in utter terror.

--

Shikamaru and Neji were in the middle of discussing the possible scenarios of the aerial battle that had left Hinata in a coma for the last five weeks, when the subject of their conversation gave a small cough. Shikamaru immediately grabbed the printed neuro-electronic readings next to the armchair. He completely missed the spike in brain activity that occurred only a couple of minutes ago! But the self-scolding was cut short, because Hinata started shifting slowly in her bed. Shikamaru glanced over at Neji, who was staring intently at the girl, and was quite sure he had stopped breathing. He briefly hoped she'd wake up soon before the lieutenant passed out.

Hinata stilled, and her eyes seemed to shut even tighter, furrowing her brow. Quite unexpectedly, her eyes shot open, and blinked rapidly to acclimatize to the bright hospital lights. Shikamaru felt a wave of relief when he finally saw the pale lavender of Hinata's eyes after so long, but that relief was short-lived when she lifted her head and finally looked upon the two men in the room. There was something very different behind those eyes, and the Captain was at a loss for what it was. The petite young woman seemed to effortlessly sit up, stared alluringly at Shikamaru, and spoke in a tone no one ever would have thought they'd hear from this girl.

"What's up, Crybaby?"

* * *

**Author's Notes:  
**Ah, and now the fun begins. Thanks for reading!

In response to Ky's review, neither of the girls existed before this. They're products of advanced technology and genetics. Hope that clears things up.

Also, if there is a NejiHina fanfic out there called Forbidden Affections, I had no idea, and any offense to the author is unintentional. I'm a NejiHina fan myself, and I like to poke fun at my own fandoms.


	5. Cacophony of a Confusing Conjuncture

_Shame on you, your Mama said  
Shame on you, you cried in bed  
Shame on you, you told a lie  
Big girls do cry_

_- "Big Girls Don't Cry" by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons_

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!"

"What the fuck is she screaming for?!" Kankurou managed to yell over Temari, who had started grabbing blindly for as much blanket coverage as possible.

The commotion brought two engineers and a medic running into the room, and if it were possible, the blond patient seemed to wail even louder, stopping the newcomers dead in their tracks If the circumstances were different, Kankurou would have found the scene he was part of hilarious: six grown men clutching the sides of their heads, nearly to tears, and a lone girl scrambling around on her bed, yanking loose the blankets, screaming her lungs out. Had she taken a breath yet?

Finally, sense hit one of the men, and Baki roughly dragged, pushed, and shoved everyone out of the room. The screeching stopped, but they could hear some whimpering and sniffling muffled behind the closed door. The medic reached for the door handle, but Baki slapped his hand away.

"You are not going in there."

"What? How do you expect me to diagnose this...this...development?"

"Get a female medic."

Understanding dawned on Gaara and Kankurou, though they did realize it was very odd that their sister would react so intensely to her own brothers and former teacher seeing her in a hospital gown. They'd seen her in far less before. Kankurou peeked through the door's window. Temari was sitting on her bed, wrapped entirely in her blankets with knees bent up to her chin. Had she not been trembling, one would've mistaken her for a large pile of dirty hospital linens. She caught Kankurou peering at her, and ducked her head even lower.

"How soon can we find out what happened to her?" he asked, not directing the question to anyone in particular. An engineer volunteered his answer.

"As soon as we can get her to talk to us."

An elderly woman cleared her throat to announce her arrival. "I was informed you required a female medic, Kazekage-sama?"

"Yes, for our sister, Temari. She did not react well to our presence in the room, and we were hoping she would be more accepting of a woman's assistance," Gaara replied with a polite bow.

The woman chuckled, "It went that badly, did it? I'll check in on her now."

She brushed past the men and slowly opened the door so as not to startle the patient. "Okay, young one, Chiyo-baachan just wants to check if you're okay. No one is going to hurt you..." And the door closed behind her.

--

"So, is this how you greet your friends now? Just stare?"

The lilac-eyed young woman was sitting up in her bed, arms crossed, one eyebrow quirked in annoyance. Captain Nara knew Hinata would probably act a bit strange after having her brain hacked out of a near full lock-out, but he certainly wasn't expecting _this. _Then again, she was one of the first of her kind—_no one_ would know what to expect. At the moment, he could only think to placate her with a neutral, though impersonal, response.

"Well, it's good to see you're finally awake. I'm going to notify the medics and engineers of this new development. I wish you a speedy recovery, and I hope to see you soon for your debriefing." Shikamaru turned to his lieutenant, "Neji, we leave."

"Yes, sir," he replied without taking his eyes off his cousin. She didn't look at her Niisan once. Did she not recognize him? How badly was she damaged? He was going to voice his concern once they had left the room and closed Hinata's door behind them, but Shikamaru beat him to it as they turned to leave Hinata's wing of the med bay in search of Sakura.

"She didn't acknowledge you."

"No, she didn't," the Hyuuga needlessly answered. It did sting a bit admitting it out loud.

"Give her some time. She just came out of a five-week coma. It's not unheard of that patients have trouble recognizing loved ones after such trauma."

Neji didn't mention that Hinata seemed to have no trouble recognizing Shikamaru, but he had another concern. "What about drastic personality changes?"

The Captain was hoping that it wouldn't be brought up, mostly because he didn't know the answer. Would something like that be considered psychological, something a doctor can diagnose? Or was it a form of data corruption, something an engineer would be best at sorting out? If there was one thing Shikamaru learned when he first got involved in the bio-android project eight years ago, it was that the line dividing human consciousness from artificial intelligence was always blurred. Luckily, he knew two experts he could consult with.

"I'll get in touch with Ino and Shino."

--

Chiyo opened the door a crack and addressed the patient's family with a smile, "She's ready to see you now."

Kankurou and Gaara warily shuffled into the room, eyes on the floor, not daring to look up at their sister in case they set her off on another deafening round of screeching.

"She's fine. I gave her a sedative," Chiyo assured them.

It seemed to have the opposite effect. "You _what_?"

The old woman just sighed and pulled them both closer to the bed, where Temari was sitting, eyes half-lidded, grinning lazily up at them. It was almost as frightening as the screaming.

"It was the only option available. She brought herself to hyperventilation every time I suggested she let you boys see her."

Gaara had taken to rubbing his temples. "You couldn't give her a bit more time to adjust to the idea of seeing us?"

Chiyo shook her head, replying, "She has no problem seeing you. Her issue was that you, and all those other men, were seeing her. In fact, she _wanted_ to see you, but she couldn't get past the anxiety attacks."

"So you _drugged her_?" Kankurou demanded.

"Yes, at her request, I gave her something to calm her nerves."

"At _her_ request?" the brothers asked in unison.

"Yes, her request. And good call on her part too, because as I understand it, you boys have been trying to wake her up for the past couple of weeks. Wouldn't have been all that productive to let her hyperventilate herself into unconsciousness again, now would it?"

"Yoooouuuu...are the Kazekage!" Temari sang in a slurred lilt.

Gaara just stared at her in bewilderment, but noticed he was the only one she addressed, and not even by his name. She hadn't said anything to Kankurou yet, and her initial screaming fit was anything but friendly. "Chiyo, does the sedative affect a person's memories?"

"No, sir. It's only meant to calm her."

Kankurou roughly grabbed his brother's arm and pulled him to the corner of the room and whispered, "Gaara, I don't know how she got this fucked up, but there are two things that I know can do this to a person: brainwashing, and torture."

"But she's not--"

"No, she's not quite human, but she's pretty damn close. You can't deny the possibility."

"It could just as easily be a data...processing...type thing," Gaara reasoned.

"Then have an engineer look at her. Or call Shikamaru again, because _that _is not our sister."

"Kazzzeeekaaaggee! Kagekaze? Kagezazedakage!"

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Thanks for reading!

In response to Ky's review, this will be a ShikaHina story, not Shika/Tema-in-Hina (maybe some Shika/Hina-in-Tema!), although the body switch will be a bit eye-opening for him. And second, the girls are bio-androids, so they're _biologically_ human (with donated DNA, since people can't build something so complex as a human being from scratch), but because they're man-made, people don't quite see them as such. Having brains that work similarly to a supercomputer doesn't help matters, either.

In response to Music-Warrior-Nightsong: I tried to find a Beatles song that would fit an upcoming chapter, and I think I've found a perfect fit--you'll see a Beatles song in Chapter 7. I hope you like it! ;)

To sugarnspiders: :waves madly: HI!! Thank you for reviewing on this site as well as DA! XD Oh, certainly, we haven't heard the last of those romance novels. And even though Shikamaru is probably used to aggressive women, an aggressive Hinata will likely throw him off quite a bit. XD


	6. A Package Mixup, So To Speak

**Disclaimer: **I'm really bad about remembering to add this. Not like it should matter. If I'm posting on this website, I think it's a given that Naruto and it's characters don't belong to me and I'm not profiting from this inanity.

* * *

_Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday  
Who could hang a name on you?  
When you change with every new day  
Still I'm gonna miss you_

_- "Ruby Tuesday" by The Rolling Stones_

* * *

Dr. Yamanaka Ino strolled into the medical bay clutching a pad of paper, long silver blond ponytail accented with a pen stuck through the base. The faint sound of tinkling metal attached to her uniform shirt along with the sharp glare from sky blue eyes let the front desk nurse know to shut her mouth; this young woman was no mere visitor. Without breaking stride or changing speed, Ino headed to the high-security bio-android wing. Once she turned the corner, she saw Shikamaru, Neji, and Shino standing in front of Hinata's closed door, conversing with low voices and serious expressions.

"Sir, I have arrived prepared for a preliminary psychological examination, as requested," Ino greeted the Captain with a small bow.

"It's fine, Ino, no one else is here," Shikamaru responded with a smirk. She always greeted him formally in case a higher-up was within earshot.

"Well, in that case, I'll cut to the chase. What the hell happened to Hinata that required my cheap PMS novels to pull her out of a coma, and now a psych exam?"

"PMS novels?"

"I read them when I'm moody."

"Ah," Shikamaru nodded. "Anyways, I was hoping you'd be able to answer a few questions for us, including what happened to her."

Ino glanced at Shino. "I take it you're here to help determine if the problem is data-related if the psych exam is inconclusive?"

"Yes. Of course, you should perform your examination first. My method would require Hinata to be unconscious. Again."

"Alright," Ino nodded in understanding. "What do we know so far?"

Neji, who had remained silent, answered her. "Hinata woke up a few hours ago during my reading shift."

"What were you reading to her?" the young doctor asked.

"_Forbidden Affections_, I believe."

"_Oh_." Ino snickered a little, and even Shino half-smiled in amusement. Neji sighed in annoyance. What was this joke that everyone seemed to get but him? He decided to just continue his recounting of events, not without an irritated eyeroll.

"Anyway, Shikamaru and I were in the middle of discussing Hinata and Temari's situation and the possible causes, and Hinata just woke up."

"Temari? The Sabakuno bio-android?"

"Yes, but we'll get to that later," the Captain interrupted. "As of right now, Hinata's personality seems to have altered. She greeted me, but ignored Neji. We're not sure if she even recognized Neji."

Ino thought for a moment, then asked, "You didn't ask her any questions?"

"No. She grew annoyed with us fairly quickly when Shikamaru didn't bother to respond to her greeting, which included name-calling. He excused us from the room and we haven't been back inside since," Neji answered for her.

Hinata, annoyed? This was certainly new. Ino wondered if this was a result of mental trauma, or if this was a new aspect of Hinata's personality developing. The doctor had known Hinata since the girl's "birth" six years ago, and Ino had never seen her friend annoyed or angry. And she definitely took no part in insults and name-calling. This was more serious than the doctor had originally anticipated.

"I'll head in now." And Ino entered the room, blue-haired girl scowling at this new arrival.

Hinata wasted no time in letting Ino know that she was less than thrilled. "Another bimbo?"

_Shikamaru wasn't kidding about "altered personality"_. Ino decided to play it impersonal and professional to be safe, especially since it didn't seem like Hinata remembered her. She sat in the armchair, crossed her legs, and removed the pen from her hair in preparation for what she expected to be some extensive note-taking. "I'm just here to do a psychological evaluation. You did experience serious mental trauma, a month-long coma, and unprecedented methods of infiltration and hacking to your brain."

"So I gathered from that pink-haired broad who checked my vitals," Hinata grumbled with an eyeroll.

Ino did her best to maintain a straight face—a bitchy Hinata was surprisingly adorable. "Wonderful, we can go straight to the questions then. What is your name?"

"Seriously? That's where we're starting?" Hinata sighed in exasperation. "My name is..." and her confident expression instantly dropped. "I...am...um...I...can't seem to remember my name," she finished, looking away to hide her embarrassment.

Ino scribbled some quick notes. "Do you remember any family members?"

"Sure, I have a family. Let's see..." Hinata frowned in thought for a moment. "I can't picture their faces or recall their names."

"Do you remember how they are related to you?"

"I have siblings, I think."

Ino thought a moment. Hinata did have her sister Hanabi, but she mentioned more than one sibling. _She does refer to Neji as her Niisan_. It was a bit of a stretch, but if the girl couldn't even remember her name, there was no telling how addled her memories were. "What about your parents?"

Without a thought, Hinata answered, "I have no parents." She blinked in surprise at the ease of her answer.

Ino wasn't sure what to make of that. What was this, selective amnesia? Hinata's father was alive and well, and even though she'd never met her mother, the woman having died eight years before her birth, she was aware of their...unusual genetic connection. Perhaps that was the reason why Hinata considered herself motherless? But that didn't explain disregarding her father entirely. The blond scratched out detailed notes, and was interrupted from her musing.

"You figure out what's wrong with me?"

"Please be patient, we're getting there. Now, is there anything you _do_ remember clearly?"

Hinata grunted her aggravation, and looked at the ceiling, wracking her brain for anything. She fidgeted a bit, and finally yelled in frustration, "Dammit, there's nothing!" Oh, she was awfully cute when pissed off.

"Hinata, calm down, take a breath. It's okay, these things take time," the doctor attempted to assure her.

"It's not that! I...what did you call me?"

Ino paused. Was she remembering? "I called you by your name, Hinata."

Hinata frowned and stared at her open up-turned hands on her lap. "No. That's not right."

_I don't know what this is, but it's not amnesia_. "Then what is your name?"

"It's...I don't know, but it's not Hinata. It does sound familiar, like it's someone else, but it's not my name."

Dr. Yamanaka realized her evaluation wasn't going to get very far if Hinata didn't remember anything. But there was one last thing that underscored the entire session.

"If you don't remember anything, how do you know you're safe being so open with us, and answering my questions?"

The look on Hinata's face spoke of realization and maybe relief. "Because I recognized the first person I saw," she answered, almost to herself.

"And that would be?"

"He's...that guy," Hinata gesticulated vaguely, "...dammit, I don't know! But I think he's important...maybe the most important person I know." Hinata rested her elbows on her lap and dropped her face into her hands, whispering incoherently to herself.

Ino didn't think there was much more she could do. She finalized her notes and excused herself from the room. Shikamaru, Shino, and Neji were as she had left them.

"That was shorter than anticipated. How'd it go?" Captain Nara asked.

The woman just shook her head and sighed, "Nothing conclusive since she doesn't remember much, but there were several noteworthy points."

"She has amnesia?"

"Nope. Here, let me go through my notes." Ino flipped her pad open. "First, she doesn't remember her name. I told her that her name was Hinata, and she seemed absolutely sure that it wasn't. She recognizes the name, but she doesn't believe it's _her_ name."

Shikamaru and Neji frowned in thought, while Shino nodded for Yamanaka to continue.

"Second, she knows she has family, specifically siblings, but she doesn't acknowledge her parentage."

Neji blinked in confusion. "Wait, _siblings_? As in, more than one? And Hiashi-sama is very much alive. Sure, he can be a bit cold, but it's evident he does care for his daughters."

"I was confused, too," Ino replied with a shrug. "I can only guess she considers you her second sibling."

"Doesn't explain ignoring her parentage."

Shino glanced over at Shikamaru, and noticed he had "that" look again: eyebrows scrunched in deep thought, eyes glazed and trained downward, but darting randomly, mouth almost pouting. Years of working together and seeing that face more times than he could remember told Shino his friend was on the verge of...something. It meant Shikamaru was to do the thinking, and Shino was to gather the evidence for him to help progress the speculation. In other words, ask more questions.

"So, Hinata had no reservations about answering your questions?" he inquired.

Ino smiled, Aburame was certainly on top of things. "Actually, she didn't. That was the last question I asked her, and she said it was because she recognized Shikamaru. Not by name, but she recognized him specifically as someone trustworthy."

"Well, of course, he was the first person she saw when she was born. But she should have recognized Neji, because he was also present at her birth."

Neji nodded, "That's right, Shikamaru and I were there when she first opened her eyes. Why would she remember one but not the other?"

Shikamaru suddenly interrupted, "Because she might've seen me and someone else entirely." The other three were obviously clueless, so he continued.

"Ino, when was the last time I cried?"

"I'm sorry? The last time you _cried_? I don't think I'm following."

"Just think. When Hinata woke up, she called me "Crybaby". At the time, I assumed it was her personality displaying a new altered state so I disregarded the nickname itself."

Shino remembered quite clearly the last time Shikamaru cried. "It was almost six years ago, when we received word that Asuma-sensei was killed in action. Sakura and Ino were doing the standard physical and psychological exams to mark that Hinata and Temari were 120 days old, or in terms of physical development, six years old."

The blond doctor recalled that tragic day. "That's right, Temari was such a brat as a child, and pointed at Shikamaru and called him a crybaby. Sakura scolded her for it, and Temari started crying and apologized." As soon as she finished talking, Ino's eyes widened at the realization of what they were dealing with. "Shikamaru, you don't mean to tell me..."

"That the girl in that room is not Hinata."

"How can you be so sure?" Neji asked incredulously.

The Captain could sense Hyuuga's frustration. Weeks of recovery only to find that they didn't even retrieve the right girl. "Think about how she answered Ino's questions: more than one sibling, no parents, knowing the name 'Hinata' as familiar but not her own. The girls grew up together, of course she'd recall Hinata's name. On top of that, Kankurou and Gaara are in the exact same situation with their bio-android. My being called a crybaby practically confirms it."

"Are you telling me that in the middle of a dogfight with the Sound, they switched brains?"

"No, not brains, just personalities, or more accurately, personality-based user interfaces. She's having trouble accessing memories right now because Temari's user interface is trying to work with Hinata's brain functions."

Ino sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Say that again, Shikamaru, but this time, _not_ in Nerd."

"Okay," the Captain smirked, "Think about how difficult it would be to play your music on the computer using tax preparation software. They're not built to work together."

Neji knew he was a genius in his own right, but was quickly learning bio-android theory was not his forte. "But, they're the same, aren't they? They were developed using the same methods, they grew up together, how can their interfaces operate so differently?"

"That's where the bio-android's ever-expanding intelligence comes in," Shino answered while pushing his dark glasses higher on his nose. "The girls were born six years ago, and spent their first year together, growing up mentally and physically at the rate of one human year every 20 days."

"Yes, I remember that," Ino nodded in recollection, "they had minimal contact with anyone outside our small circle: you and Shikamaru obviously as head developers, Sakura and I to gauge their accelerated mental and physical growth, a handful of staff members in the lab, and their immediate family members from their clans. What does that have to do with evolving their interfaces?"

"He's getting to that, Ino," Shikamaru muttered, running a hand through his spiked ponytail.

"As I was saying," Shino continued, "by their one year mark, they were physically 18 years old, essentially adults. At this point their growth had slowed down to the human standard and they were separated from each other, Temari fulfilling her role as a gift to the Sabakuno Clan of Suna, and Hinata staying here with the Hyuuga Clan. Five years apart in completely different environments with completely different people coupled with evolving intelligence can easily lead to the girls taking their base interfaces and molding them into something they feel more comfortable working with."

The Captain sighed, "Which makes our job that much more difficult. All the information we recorded six years ago is now obsolete."

Shino nodded in agreement, "Yes, reverse engineering five years of independent evolution at the level of a supercomputer would be impossible."

"Well!" Shikamaru said with a clap of his hands. "First things first." And he opened the door to the patient's room.

"Oi, Temari."

"Yeah?" the young woman answered without hesitation.

"We figured out what's wrong with you. I'm just going to give your brothers a call and have them come over as soon as possible." And the Captain closed the door on the blue-haired girl who was very quickly realizing what had just been said. Joyous shouts could be heard through the door, with the occasional curse thrown in for good measure.

The Captain of the _Keima_ motioned for his crew to follow him. "Alright, Shino, you'll come with me to call the Hokage immediately and have her set up a conference call with the Kazekage. Neji, inform Hiashi of the situation. Unfortunately, he can't take part in the call, but assure him we'll keep him fully informed regarding his daughter's status. Ino, update Sakura and start a schedule of frequent check-ins, at least twice a day. I'm not sure how long a foreign interface can work successfully with basic human body functions, if at all, so keep detailed records, please."

"Yes, sir!" Ino and Neji chanted in unison, and went off in separate directions. Shikamaru allowed a small smirk.

After a few minutes, Shino broke the silence with a hint of a smile, "If Hinata has already woken up with Gaara and Kankurou, how do you think she reacted?"

Captain Nara chuckled, "Oh, I can only _imagine_."

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Thanks for reading! And thanks for reviewing too, actually. :D

Also, I'm sorry to say that writing has slowed down. I generally try to get a chapter done every week, but there will be times I can't do that due to work obligations, or because I'm weaving my way through the plot, and nitpicky nitwit that I am, I must make sure everything comes together properly. But generally, I'll try not to let this go for more than two weeks without an update. Feel free to throw things at me if I ever leave you hanging for a month.


	7. All You Need Is Mister Loverboy

**Disclaimer:** _Naruto_ and its characters do not belong to me. If they did, there would be no Shiho. Or maybe Shiho would exist, but Hinata would find her to be poor competition.

* * *

_ Nothing you can make that can't be made.  
No one you can save that can't be saved.  
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time.  
It's easy._

_- "All You Need Is Love" by The Beatles_

* * *

Temari's private hospital room was bustling with the hurried activity of engineers and medics, monitoring, researching, and arguing over who got to use which electrical outlet first. The patient sat on her bed looking distinctly uncomfortable with the number of people hovering over her, but Chiyo's sedative was still in full effect, leaving Temari with just a mild blush and wavering frown. She would not speak, but kept glancing at Gaara, almost like she was making sure he was still there. Kankurou was still thrown off by his sister's skitterish behavior. And that damn blush that wouldn't go away.

Chiyo had commanded full control of the occupants of the room, and shooed away any specialist who was done with their individual duties or was just unnecessary. It took over an hour and a half, but she managed to clear everyone out except the head engineer of the Kazekage's battleship. The elderly medic promptly checked Temari's heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure to ensure there were no oncoming anxiety attacks. When the young woman giggled lightly and said, "It's tickly!" Chiyo was quite sure the patient was fine. After a few minutes, Temari turned to the old woman imploringly.

"Chiyo-baasan, I n-need to speak with Kaze...Kaza...Kagezake."

Chiyo just looked over her shoulder—neither Gaara nor Kankurou had left the room and were certainly within speaking distance of their sister.

Gaara stepped forward and sat in the chair next to the bed. Temari was still referring to him by his title, so he assumed her memory might be a little off. Best to play his role as courteous yet distant for her own comfort. "You wish to speak to me?"

"Y-yes. I must r-request that you call my s-superiors and inform them of my s-status and whereabouts, p-please," Temari answered in an uncharacteristically soft voice with a hint of slurring. Gaara thought she sounded very much like a drunken aristocrat.

"Er, Temari, you're safe at home. You don't need to report to anyone."

"Nooooo," she retorted, shaking her head much more than necessary. "You are _a_ s-superior, but not _my_ superior," she giggled, wagging her finger.

The Kazekage quirked a non-existent brow. She's going to play the nagging big sister card, is she? "Okay, I'm just your brother, but there really isn't anyone to report to above me, Temari, remember?"

At that, the blond woman pouted cutely, and Kankurou had to keep himself from guffawing at the most unexpected expression. "W-why do you keep calling me Temari?"

"Because that's your name. Do you not remember that either?"

"B-but that's not my name," Temari mumbled, picking at the blanket covering her lap.

Kankurou sighed and pulled his brother by his collar off the chair, taking the seat for himself. "Alright, I'm taking over from here."

"What are you doing?" Gaara hissed while repositioning his collar.

"Relax. I'm good at talking to drunk girls."

"Sure, when you're trying to get into their pants. This is totally different."

"No, it's not. It's just a disconnect in communication. Don't worry, I got this." The Lieutenant confidently turned to the patient and leered, "What's up, sweetheart?"

"Kankurou!"

"Sorry! Force of habit!" Kankurou cleared his throat and readjusted his position in the chair. "Okay, first off: What's your name?"

Temari, faced with this new and unfamiliar person, looked down at her hands and started fiddling with her fingers. "Um, I-I don't know."

"Then why can't we call you Temari?"

"B-because it's not m-my name," Temari answered barely audibly.

"So, you don't know your name, but you know what it's not?"

"C-correct."

"Okie dokie, let's assume you are NOT our sister for a minute. Who are your superiors that we're supposed to contact?"

"I-I was hoping you would kn-know." The girl's head was dipping lower with each answer, and she seemed to be retreating into herself. Chiyo, who had been standing off to the side and monitoring silently, wondered if she should stop the interrogation or let it take its course. Or perhaps even give the girl a second shot of the downer.

"Ho boy," Kankurou muttered to himself. He was hoping her being stoned out of her mind would relax her enough to get some answers, but she couldn't even give him the most basic information. The more he observed her, the more he started to believe this was a data problem, not a psychological one. Temari had taken to eyeing Gaara again, or more precisely, his forehead.

"Oi, what are you looking at?" Kankurou asked, regaining her attention.

"Oh! Um...his forehead marking," Temari answered, meekly pointing at Gaara's head.

"What about it?"

"He is..." and her voice dropped to a whisper, "M-Mister Loverboy."

Both the brothers' eyes widened in shock, then Gaara's eyes narrowed as he grumbled, "I knew Matsuri's 'modified' stories would screw this up."

He was about to throw open the door and hunt down his former student when Kankurou suddenly started laughing hysterically to the point of almost keeling out of the chair. Temari seemed to withdraw further, warily eyeing the nearly unhinged man. After a few minutes, the Lieutenant's hooting and hollering had calmed down enough that he was able to wipe the tears from his eyes and straighten out his uniform, not without a few waning chuckles.

"Well, fuck me sideways!" he declared, earning a squeak from Temari.

"Not the drunk-girl talk again! That's our sister!" Gaara exclaimed, still a bit red-faced from being called Loverboy.

"That's just it! It's _not_ our sister! It's Hinata!"

Gaara's dark-rimmed eyes rounded in surprise, making him look a bit like a raccoon. "...What?"

"Mr. Loverboy isn't something from Matsuri's shitty books. It's something I came up with six years ago," Kankurou explained.

"You've lost me."

"On our second visit to meet with Shikamaru during the bio-android project, you were busy playing with Temari. I started talking to Hinata. Man, they couldn't have been more than three years old...Anyways, she asked me what your name was, because you looked like a scary guy with a big red tattoo on your head, and I told her the symbol meant 'love', so she could call you Mister Loverboy!" Kankurou explained with a big grin. Gaara wasn't sure if he should have been offended by the nickname, or grateful for its absurdity and that it actually stuck with Hinata through a coma and evidently a body switch.

The girl once thought to be Temari was now kneeling at the edge of the bed, listening to the Lieutenant with ardent curiosity. "My name...is Hinata?"

Kankurou turned to her with a sympathetic look and ruffled her sandy blond hair. "Yeah, kiddo."

"W-Will you be calling my superiors to send me back?"

Gaara sighed, crossed his arms, and brought a hand to his face. "Yes. But it seems the situation is much more complicated than we expected."

--

Kankurou and Gaara reluctantly left the hospital room, taking one last look at the unfamiliar girl with their sister's face as she was drawn into conversation with Chiyo-baasan. At least Hinata's uneasiness and sedative-induced stupor were slowly ebbing away. For now, they would let her progress, allow her to grow comfortable with the people around her, and for God's sake, keep all mirrors or other reflective surfaces away from her. They weren't sure if she remembered her own appearance, and if she did, how she would take it if she saw herself now.

The head engineer and lead medic were in the hallway waiting for the Kazekage and immediately drew themselves up and saluted. Kankurou responded with his own half-hearted salute, and Gaara was at least polite enough to nod before passing out orders.

"We have discerned the...problem afflicting Temari." He turned to the medic, "Chiyo-san is currently looking after her. If she requires anything in regards to Temari's health and recovery, please make that a priority." The Kazekage then turned to the engineer. "Though we have determined this is a data issue, we will be contacting the Hokage and the developers of the bio-android project to continue Temari's treatment."

The engineer cleared his throat, "About that, sir..."

"Yes?"

"The Hokage as well as Captain Nara Shikamaru and Tokubetsu Jounin Aburame Shino have been waiting for you and Lieutenant Sabakuno to join them in their emergency conference call."

"You couldn't tell me sooner?"

The engineer bowed in apology, "I would have, sir, however, Captain Nara specifically instructed me not to interrupt whatever it was you were doing. He said maintaining stability and security of Temari's faculties was of utmost importance, sir."

Kankurou snickered to himself, "That fucker knew what was happening. And who we were dealing with."

Gaara silently agreed, and wondered how Temari was doing surrounded by Konoha forces. Probably causing a ruckus while in meek little Hinata's body. "At any rate, thank you for the information. You are dismissed." The two subordinates quickly strode off to attend to their duties.

Kankurou nudged his younger brother in the shoulder. "You ready to go? Temari will have our hides if we make her stay there any longer."

"Mm, if she doesn't tell us off for making her wait, she'll tell us off for scaring the crap out of Hinata," Gaara acknowledged. Temari may be protective of her brothers, but if either of them did anything to upset her sister bio-android, all bets were off. And Kankurou had a permanent bruise bestowed upon his shin by a 12-year-old Temari to prove it. He sincerely hoped she hadn't figured out the body switch yet.

"Oi, I know the Hokage's going to be on the line, but is Shizune going to be there too?" Kankurou asked as they turned to head to the Kazekage's office.

"Probably," Gaara answered. "Tsunade certainly doesn't know how to connect a conference call herself."

The brothers sighed and begrudgingly buttoned and straightened their collars as they made their way to the Kazekage's office.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Thanks for reading!

As promised to Music-Warrior-Nightsong, a Beatles song! :D

Hope you all enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Actually, I mostly enjoyed writing the Sand brothers--they're a fun pair. :)

I actually wasn't going to post this chapter for a few days since I feel I'm a little behind on the story (I like to keep a few chapters pre-written, however, I'm only partway through chapter 9 at the moment). But my boyfriend texted me this morning saying I HAD to post the next chapter today, because, to my surprise, after reading the prior six chapters yesterday, he really likes the story. Which is just plain awesome because he's a fantastic writer himself. XD


	8. So Much Like Your Mother

**Disclaimer:** _Naruto_ and its characters aren't mine. All the weird things I put them through, I do for free.

* * *

_ We'd like to know a little bit about you for our files  
We'd like to help you learn to help yourself.  
Look around you all you see are sympathetic eyes,  
Stroll around the grounds until you feel at home._

_- "Mrs. Robinson" by Simon & Garfunkel_

* * *

"Nara, how much longer are we going to have to wait?"

"I doubt much longer, Tsunade-sama. They did say she was already awake. It's just a matter of letting them figure out who she is."

Tsunade ran her fingers along the silken trim of her traditional Japanese haori as she slouched in boredom in front of the conference communicator that displayed Shikamaru and Shino on one side of the screen, and an empty desk on the other. Normally, she would have been sitting upright, all business, but she had sent Shizune out to get them some water while they waited for the Kazekage and his brother. If she were there, she'd probably scold Tsunade for resting her ample bosom on the tabletop yet again. But it was horribly boring with Shikamaru and Shino because they always kept their eyes above her neck. She immediately straightened up and folded her hands in front of her on the table when she heard the hiss of her office door open.

Shizune walked in with a tray bearing a pitcher of ice water and two glasses. "Has the Kazekage arrived yet?"

"No, however, Captain Nara believes we won't have to wait much longer," the Hokage replied, pouring her assistant and herself glasses of water.

As if on cue, Kazekage Sabakuno Gaara and Jounin Lieutenant Sabakuno Kankurou sat in the chairs positioned in front of their communicator screen. "Tsunade-sama, it's a pleasure speaking with you again. Please pardon our late arrival," the young Suna leader greeted politely.

"It wasn't a problem. We were well aware of the situation," the Hokage replied pleasantly, before she narrowed her eyes and tilted her head curiously while staring at the four young men on her screen. "Are you boys feeling alright?"

Shikamaru glanced over at Shino, who just shrugged. "I'm not quite sure whom you're addressing, but Aburame and I are well."

Gaara didn't bother looking over at Kankurou; he could already tell his brother was trying not to laugh, and looking at him would likely set him off. "My brother and I do not feel anything out of the ordinary."

Tsunade tapped a thoughtful finger on her chin, "Hm, it might be the color settings on this thing. I swear, the four of you look almost purple..." and the men watched her reach for something just below the screen. "Shizune, how do you adjust the color? I just can't look at these boys in such a sickly color as a medic--"

"Tsunade-sama, please allow me to—NO NOT THAT BUTTON!"

The two pairs of men watched with amusement as the Hokage's half of their screens blipped in and out with static and incomprehensible yelling. Mere seconds later, it blinked back to normal, with a grinning Tsunade, her hands folded primly in front of her, and Shizune failing to hide her eyeroll as she excused herself to leave. "Tsunade-sama, if you find everything satisfactory, I'll take my leave now that everyone is settled."

The Hokage just waved her off, and the door slid shut behind her. She waited a full five seconds before giving the all-clear. "It's okay, boys. She's gone."

Shikamaru, Kankurou, and Gaara immediately undid their collar buttons, and Shino relaxed his posture slightly.

"Whoo, I just can't get used to having something wrapped around my neck," Kankurou sighed in relief.

"Is that what you tell your frequent and ever-changing bedfellows?" asked Shino completely straight-faced.

All parties laughed, especially Kankurou. "Ha, Shino! You actually cracked a joke! I'd high-five you if I were there!"

"The sentiment is appreciated."

"And anyways, it's usually the _girls_ trailing on the leash..."

Tsunade brought the conference back on track. "Yes yes, good good, Kankurou's still getting laid, things are normal. Let's discuss what isn't. Shikamaru, start us off."

"Yes, ma'am," the _Keima _Captain replied as he straightened up and pulled out his notes. "I'll assume Gaara and Kankurou have realized by now that the girls have switched user interfaces."

The Kazekage nodded, "If that's what it's called, yes."

"Then I'll go over our findings, then you can add anything from your own experience. First, we've found that memories are inaccessible at this point. Temari did remember vague details, like family members, but she can't recall names. We're not sure how some things stuck with her since the memory is completely separate from the personality, but I'll assume it's yet another evolution in the human brain and supercomputer merging process."

"Well, that explains why Hinata only recognized Gaara, and by an obscure nickname she had heard as a toddler," Kankurou muttered with a little grin. He didn't mention the nickname, and Gaara wasn't about to announce it.

The Hokage, who had been sitting quietly with her fingers clasped in front of her mouth, joined in the discussion. "How did Temari and Hinata react upon waking? Do they know they've switched?"

The Kazekage closed his eyes and shook his head. "Not well, and no. Your turn."

Both Shino and Shikamaru smirked in amusement. They had already heard the story of the screaming girl from the lead engineer while waiting for Kankurou and Gaara. "Well," the Captain began, "Temari was quite calm considering the circumstances. Ino examined her, and the only time she was really bothered was when she realized she couldn't recall basic info like her name, or her affiliation. We figured out who she was when I remembered the name she called me upon waking."

Another identification via nickname? Kankurou anticipated that it had to be a good one, if not better than his brother's. "What did she call you?"

"Crybaby."

"Oh." It was rather plain, but then again, Kankurou and Gaara could guess why Temari called Shikamaru a crybaby.

Shikamaru nodded, "Yeah, it's pretty boring compared to Gaara's nickname. At least his name implies he has a penis."

"Perhaps you should limit your socializing with Sai," Shino advised.

"Hey, I can't help that he's always tagging along with Naruto and Sakura when we go to the bar."

Meanwhile, Gaara was silently stewing. He wasn't sure how Shikamaru knew the embarrassing bit of information, but at least no one had said the name out loud.

"Hey, how did you know Hinata's name for Gaara was Mister Loverboy?" asked Kankurou. What was left of the Kazekage's dignity choked and died when he noticed Tsunade attempting to stifle her laughter and failing miserably.

At Kankurou's question, Shikamaru immediately shut his mouth and looked away, blushing faintly. Shino courteously answered, "Hinata informed us of the name Kankurou told her, then asked if she could call Shikamaru that. Of course, at the time, she had no idea of the connotation attached to such a moniker, but Shikamaru found it awkward nonetheless."

"Because _I_ had to explain to her why she couldn't call me that!" the Captain sulked.

Knowing Shikamaru had it worse cheered Gaara significantly. Explaining romance and a name with sexual implications to a three-year-old Hinata sounded mortifying.

Tsunade cleared her throat to bring attention to the predicament at hand. "So, with the mentioning of Gaara's alter ego, is that how you recognized Hinata for who she was?"

"Yes, ma'am. Gaara wasn't aware of the name at the time, but I drew the conclusion after piecing together her behavior and the fact that she was the only one I mentioned the name to," Kankurou confirmed.

"Alright, first step accomplished, the girls have been identified," Tsunade progressed. "Do they know they've switched?"

All four men shook their heads.

"Has this information spread beyond the circle of officers who worked on their recovery?"

"Neji is currently informing Hinata's immediate family, her father and sister. Ino and Sakura were part of waking process. And Sarutobi Konohamaru, as nephew of the founder of the bio-android project, was present at the pick-up and is also fully aware of the situation," Shikamaru recounted.

Kankurou went through their list of the informed. "Baki, as Temari's former teacher, is aware. Our lead engineer, head medic, and their respective teams, as well as Gaara's former student Matsuri know the circumstances of how Temari was found and how she woke up, but they were not informed of the body switch. The only medic aware of the full situation is Elder Chiyo."

Tsunade nodded seriously and clasped her hands under her chin. "Good. Keep it that way. We don't know what the Sound did to Temari and Hinata, or even if this result was intentional. But seeing as they are the two most advanced beings in the known galaxy, I don't doubt that if the Sound knew what situation we're in, they'd take full advantage of it."

Shino pushed his dark glasses further up the bridge of his nose as he mentioned, "We should also take into account the girls' backgrounds. They are from two of the most distinguished families. And though the information is classified, the source of their genetics would make them targets if the information was somehow made available."

The other three young men nodded knowingly, but Tsunade looked somewhat confused.

"You did read the girls' files, right, Tsunade-sama?" Shikamaru inquired.

"I...skimmed over what looked important, yes," the Hokage brushed off.

The _Keima _captain tapped something out on his keyboard, and recent pictures of Temari and Hinata appeared as insets on the Hokage's screen.

Her eyes widened in awe. "My God, they're spitting images of their mothers!" she exclaimed.

Kankurou looked proud and Gaara and Shino displayed small smiles. However, Shikamaru remained stone-faced. "Tsunade-sama, they look like their mothers because they _are _their mothers."

The Hokage's admiration of the young women was interrupted, "Excuse me?"

"As advanced as we are technologically, it is impossible to build a human being from scratch. We had to take the DNA of people who already existed. In this case, Hinata's DNA is from her late 'mother', the Hyuuga matriarch, Haruna. Temari was born from the DNA of her late 'mother', wife of the Fourth Kazekage and matriarch of the Sabakuno Clan, Karura."

"They're clones?"

Shikamaru looked slightly irritated that he had to explain something the Hokage should have already read six years ago, so Shino took it upon himself to continue the explanation. "By definition, they are not clones. If they were, they would not have highly developed superhuman intelligence, let alone all the other modifications we made to the girls that make them bio-androids."

"So essentially, Hinata and Temari are two completely new people who just happen to have the same DNA as Haruna and Karura." Shikamaru simplified for the Hokage. "Knowing this, you can imagine how vulnerable these girls are in the state they're in, and the risk involved in exposing their situation to more people than necessary. We have no idea what the Sound's intentions were. We don't know if they knew Hinata and Temari are incarnations of two very powerful and influential people. Whatever the case, we have two bio-androids, living supercomputers with valuable blood running through their veins, with mismatched user interfaces, leaving an infinite amount of information about Konoha and Suna unprotected. If allowed to, the Sound can find innumerable ways of taking advantage of this."

Tsunade remained in her position with her hands under her chin, brows drawn together in consternation. This was a political nightmare. The sister of the Kazekage and the daughter of the leader of the most powerful Konoha clan, practically open books to the Sound. The information they could garner from their minds was incalculably important, and their bloodlines were priceless. Just their existence as representatives of the most advanced bio-technology to date was something worth stealing. They had to find out the Sound's intentions, and to do that, they had to find a way to revert the girls' personalities to their rightful owners and delve into what could be incomplete or damaged memories to deduce just what happened in that aerial battle over a month ago.

"We will bring Hinata to you, and from there we can further research the problem and find the answers," Gaara announced. "Would it be too much trouble to provide room and board for Temari and an escort, Shikamaru?"

"Not at all. We'll keep them safe."

"Who will you be sending to accompany Hinata?" Tsunade asked.

"Kankurou," Gaara nodded toward his brother. "I will be with them upon arrival, but I'll leave as soon as I visit with Temari and finalize the details of our plans."

"Excellent," Tsunade agreed. "It would look like nothing more than a diplomatic visit. How soon can we dock on the _Keima_, Shikamaru?"

"As soon as you need. Shino has already forwarded our location information to Shizune and Baki. We will remain here until you arrive."

Kankurou's communicator buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and noticed that Baki had sent him a message with their estimated time of arrival to Shikamaru's carrier. Damn, that guy was fast _and _on top of things. "Hey, Baki says we can be there in six hours."

"Okay, Shizune's probably already informed the navigator. We'll be there as soon as we can." the Hokage said. "Bye, boys." She signed off her communicator screen.

Kankurou waved, "See ya, nerds. Keep our sister happy!" and signed off.

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

And the reunion approaches. XD

Thanks for reading, and for the kind reviews!

I'm still behind with writing, but I figured I have the whole weekend to finish up Chapter 10 and maybe even start 11, so I posted this up today. And it was kind of hard finding a song for this chapter...but then again I shouldn't be surprised since I'm writing a futuristic sci-fi story and limiting my music selection to a single decade over 40 years ago. If you have any song recommendations, I'd be happy to hear them! I can't promise the song will show up since it has to relate to a chapter somehow, but suggestions would certainly help me filter through thousands of songs and lyrics. :D


	9. Reunion

_She's the same little girl who used to  
Hang around my door.  
But she sure looks different than  
The way she looked before._

_- "Valleri" by The Monkees_

* * *

Hinata stood close to Baki, who was acting as navigator and giving the helmsman the coordinates to their destination. The Kazekage had given implicitly clear instructions that she was not to go anywhere alone, and that the only people approved to be her escorts while she was in Suna's care were Gaara himself, his brother Kankurou, their mentor Baki, and Chiyo-baasan. And by no means was anyone allowed to refer to her as anything other than Temari, especially in public. Kankurou had already broken that rule more times than Hinata thought could be done during the six-hour trip to the _Keima_, but he insisted it was okay,

"You've always worried too much, little girl. I got your back," she remembered him saying. She was relieved to know that despite the fact that she didn't remember much of anything, these people were at least familiar with her.

Looking down at herself, she self-consciously straightened the obi around her waist. Before leaving the hospital, Baki had brought in a number of outfits for her to choose from, and she was a bit put out that the clothes not only looked too big, but that nearly all the shirts had some revealing quirk about them. Low-necks, cut-out backs, teeny straps, or altogether strapless. The skirts were embarrassingly short, pants looked far too low-slung. So Baki stepped out and walked back in with a beautiful golden khaki-colored yukata with the Sabakuno clan symbol embroidered in silken burgundy thread, with matching burgundy obi. She beamed when she saw it; this type of dress rung very familiar with her. Though, she probably would have picked a sophisticated charcoal grey color, but this was quite acceptable. When she stepped out of her room, hands folded demurely in front of her, she blushed to her collarbones because Kankurou and Gaara donned silly little grins upon seeing her.

And that only made her wish she could have dressed in front of a mirror. The "no reflective surfaces around Hinata" rule was ridiculous! She couldn't tell if her obi was crooked, or if her yukata was too open, or if her hair looked like a rat's nest.

Hinata was no idiot—she was well aware that she was not in her own body. It first occurred to her when she tried on all the clothes, and though they _looked_ too big, they actually fit perfectly. It was practically confirmed when she brushed her hair and found _blond_ hairs in the brush. Though her memories were inaccessible, she just knew she wasn't supposed to be tall, blond, and, well, _bold_ if the wardrobe choices were any indication. Flashes of a girl with straw blond hair tied in four tails, bright teal eyes, and an infectious smile gave her a strong sense of deja vu, and she knew this person was Temari. But, she didn't tell anyone about her realization; she didn't want to make waves, especially when the Kazekage made it quite clear that her true identity was to remain classified.

With the banning of all reflective surfaces around her, Hinata knew she couldn't pull off four neat-looking ponytails without a mirror, so she settled for a simple French twist instead. And at the moment, a girl with chin-length brown hair speaking a mile a minute was begging Hinata to teach her how to fix her hair just so, something about the Kazekage possibly liking it. Luckily, before she had a chance to embarrass herself or give her true identity away, Kankurou dropped a friendly hand on her shoulder and barked out some orders for the young woman (Matsuri, Hinata learned) to fulfill that was obviously just busywork.

"Hey, Hina-chan, just wanted to let you know we'll be docked on the _Keima_ in about thirty minutes. You got everything packed up?"

"Um, as much as I thought would suit the visit." Which was difficult to gauge when not in one's own body nor informed about the circumstances of such a predicament, as Hinata learned quickly while standing in front of Temari's open closet. Baki was kind enough to help her compile plenty of outfits that Hinata would feel comfortable in without compromising Temari's bolder fashion taste. Who knew that the assistant to the Kazekage was familiar with the finer points of couture?

Kankurou nodded in understanding. "Yeah, if it turns out we need anything else, we can grab stuff at _Keima_'s exchange or the Konoha station if we dock there."

He looked down and noticed Hinata, in nervousness no doubt, was poking and fiddling with her fingers and bowing her head to the point of folding her neck in half. That just wouldn't do if she was going to pull off playing her part as Temari. He gently swatted her hands apart and raised her chin to look him in the eye. Hinata blinked and gulped like she had just swallowed a golf ball.

"Oi. You need to relax. Everything is going to be fine. Shikamaru is one of the smartest people I know. He'll have you and Temari back to normal in no time. Just stand up straight and act like a snob, you know, like that stuck-up cousin of yours."

Hinata began to fret even more. "I-I am still unable to access those m-memories." No need to tell him she knew they were inaccessible in a body that she was currently separated from.

She realized Kankurou was still lightly holding her chin, and felt her face grow warm. The Lieutenant, remembering that this was _not_ his sister as much as she looked like it, realized he was making Hinata more uncomfortable, and quickly dropped his hand.

"Yeah, well, you know, just act confident. No one's expecting you to talk since it's supposedly a diplomatic visit for the Kazekage. We just have to look serious while standing behind Gaara for awhile," he continued, recovering from his awkward moment.

Hinata gave a shy smile and nodded, "That's not so bad, then."

--

"Well, according to the Captain, this is going to be a diplomatic visit, so we should have you dressed accordingly to represent the Hyuuga Clan. I'm not sure why we couldn't have Neji assist you with this, but the Captain said we shouldn't, so we should listen to him, he probably knows best. How about this color? Or maybe not, since this shade of green may be a little too close to the Captain's clan colors, and we don't want people thinking you're _with_ the Captain, goodness no..."

Temari was growing more and more frustrated with this freak of a woman who had a habit of mentioning "the Captain" in every sentence. She briefly pondered changing the subject to bowel movements just to see what she'd have to say about the Captain.

The petite young woman sighed in exasperation and looked for a clock. Ah, that's right. No reflective surfaces. She estimated that her brothers and Hinata would arrive within the next twenty minutes, and here she was, standing bare-assed in her hospital gown. The unconventionally attractive man she had recognized when waking from her coma, whom she had learned was "the Captain" and one of her developers, asked this woman with glasses as thick as one's hand and hair sticking out everywhere to help her dress and prepare for the formal welcome of the Suna leader and his family. Temari knew this was all for show, but evidently, Four-Eyes wasn't in-the-know, and was making a mess of Hinata's closet. Though Temari knew full well her memories were sitting in her own body completely separate from her interface and she shouldn't be able to remember anything, she got the distinct feeling that Hinata would be very upset to find her belongings in such disarray, and it upset her to know that Hinata would be upset. And she guessed she had less than fifteen minutes to get ready now.

"OI! What's your name...Shiko--"

"Pardon me, Hinata-san, my name is Shiho--"

"Yes, 'ho', whatever." Temari ignored Shiho's indignant sputter and went on, "We're in a bit of a rush, and you're obviously not familiar with Hi—my tastes, so could you please go get the blond doctor or that pink-haired woman for me? They'll get this done much faster."

"I'm sorry, Hinata-san, but Captain Nara asked specifically that _I_ take on the task of helping you prepare, and I don't want to disappoint the Captain."

The supposed Hyuuga calmed her frayed nerves and took a deep breath. _Okay, hit her where it hurts._ "Shiho, we haven't really talked much before..."

"Well, no, we haven't. This is our first time meeting."

"Yes, well, I know the Captain asked you to help me prepare, but do you honestly think that was a reasonable thing to ask when we'd never met beforehand? Dr. Yamanaka and Medic Haruno have known me for quite awhile, and it'd be much easier for my recovery, which I'm sure is the Captain's priority," Temari reasoned, trying her best to work her expression into something sweet and concerned.

"Yes, Captain Nara was most adamant that your mental recovery take precedence," Shiho confirmed, it seemed mostly to herself. "I'll go get Dr. Yamanaka and Medic Haruno right away!" And she sped out of the room. Within a couple of minutes, Ino and Sakura were jogging into the room with sly grins.

"Smooth one, Temari, 'my recovery is the Captain's priority'," Ino smirked.

"And you asked for us specifically because we know 'your' taste. By the sound of it, you've realized you're in Hinata's body, am I right?" Sakura asked.

Temari hands went to her hips. "It wasn't hard to figure out. Now help me dress up like Hinata. Four-Eyes couldn't even get past picking out underwear."

Ino and Sakura bustled around the huge pile of clothes on the floor and grabbed articles they didn't approve of, neatly hanging them up in Hinata's closet. They threw some undergarments at Temari and told her to put them on and brush her hair smooth while they looked for a proper yukata and obi ensemble. Within minutes, the two young women whipped out a dark regal blue yukata decorated with silver moon flowers that thinned out as the pattern moved upwards from the hem, and a silver-lilac obi to pull it all together. Sakura also picked out a mother-of-pearl comb shaped like a moon flower and embossed with the Hyuuga clan symbol. Temari dressed quickly, taking some extra time to wrap the yukata snugly over her chest. She just wasn't used to covering so much...surface area. As she adjusted herself, Ino pushed her long midnight hair behind her right ear and pushed the comb in to keep the hair back.

After Temari was fully dressed, Ino and Sakura stepped back to observe their handiwork.

"Yup, she definitely looks like Hinata," Ino nodded.

"With a little something extra, I think," Sakura added.

"You're right. Hinata would probably consider it a little too audacious, but it does suit her."

"Audacious?" Temari scoffed. "This looks pretty muted to me."

The other two girls laughed. "No, you're right, it is. But by Hinata's standards, it's downright bold. If it were up to her, she probably would've picked out the Hyuuga standard charcoal yukata with the nearly invisible geometric pattern," Ino said, pointing her thumb behind her at the offending garment hanging in the closet.

"So boring, and not flattering for her at all," Sakura agreed. Temari looked worried that she was overstepping her bounds in Hinata's body, so Sakura reassured her. "Don't worry, you still look like Hinata! We just...added a subtle kick to it."

Temari self-consciously smoothed her yukata. "Okay, how much time do we have to get to the dock?"

"The Kazekage's ship should be docking right now. But it'll take them a little while to disembark. You know, the whole formal entourage thing. We'll even have a few minutes to spare if we speed-walk it and put your geta sandals on at the dock," Ino answered. Temari grabbed the sandals and let the doctor and medic lead her to the dock.

"We wouldn't have to rush like this if it wasn't for that brown-nosing bug-eyed twerp," she muttered as they made their way to the elevator leading to the dock.

"Hey, Temari?" Ino called behind her as they strode on.

"Yeah?"

"It's good to have you back."

Temari smiled to herself. She was glad to be back, even if she didn't remember them.

--

Tsunade stood in full Hokage regalia, with Shizune at her side, before the Kazekage's grand battleship. A few straggling officers and crew members found their places behind the Hokage, either standing in the rank and file lines on either side of the walkway, or in the straight rows directly behind the Hokage and Captain Nara. Shikamaru turned around at the unique sound of geta clicking, and saw Ino and Sakura guiding a scowling yet beautifully attired Hyuuga girl to their places behind him.

"Cutting it kind of close there, Temari," he whispered over his shoulder.

"Next time you want to have someone 'assist' me, don't pick your fangirl," Temari hissed back, eyeing Shiho two rows back at the far end of the line.

Shikamaru snorted at the gibe. "I'll keep that in mind." He turned his head bit to face her. "By the way, only a handful of people know about your switched interface situation. Everyone else just thinks you're Hyuuga Hinata."

"How did you know I figured it out?"

"It wasn't hard to figure out in the first place. Anyways, for now, stop scowling. Try to be more shy-looking and demure. You know, cute like Hinata."

Temari arched a navy brow and smirked "Why Captain, I didn't take you for a man who liked his women as docile eye-candy."

"My taste is much simpler: no troublesome women," he replied. Then added as he did a quick look-over, "You look nice."

"Mm, I'll tell Hinata when I see her. You can compliment _me_ when I get off the ship."

The door of the Suna battleship hissed open, drawing the attention of the _Keima_ officers and crew. The Kazekage, followed by his brother, Lieutenant Subakuno Kankurou, and their sister, Subakuno Temari, strode regally onto the long walkway towards the Hokage.

Kankurou looked to his left. Hinata's hands were clasped in front of her, but she was gripping so hard her knuckles her white, and her breathing was getting shallow.

"Hinata, take a deep breath and relax. We just have to get through the formal greeting, then we'll head straight to Shikamaru's office."

Hinata took a deep breath and blew it out, ruffling her blond bangs. _Just get through the formal greeting_, she repeated to herself.

The Lieutenant noticed she had relaxed a bit. "Okay, remember, back straight and chin up. Have a little fun and be a snob."

Hinata smiled and kept walking, tall and seemingly confident.

She kept the smile as she bowed to the Hokage in greeting, and as Gaara and Tsunade made formal small talk in front of the officers. But when her eyes fell upon a shorter young woman with long blue hair and silver-lilac eyes, her heart stopped and her eyes went alight. It was _her_, her body. But her stance, her mannerisms, spoke of someone who was very close to her, someone she dearly missed. She recognized her instantly, despite the fact that the person was inhabiting the wrong body. Then the blue-haired woman caught her gaze, and after a few seconds smiled warmly and winked at her. Hinata had to press her lips together to keep from grinning madly.

Temari tried very hard not to chuckle at Hinata's excitability. Just as Temari had instantly recognized her own body and Hinata inhabiting it, she was sure Hinata had the same moment of instant recognition. Hinata was doing very well looking like the self-assured sister of the Kazekage, but Temari knew that finger-fiddling habit. She had to admit though, she probably wouldn't have picked out the formal yukata to wear, but Hinata made it look good, especially with her hair pinned in a neat twist at the back of her head. She made a mental note of the outfit and hairstyle for after they switched their interfaces to their proper bodies.

Then she glanced to the left at her brother Kankurou. Yes, she could recall him, and her brother Gaara. Things were falling into place, or at the very least names and the faces that went with them. Complex memories and less important people and relationships were still sitting in the body she had to switch back to.

After watching Kankurou for a little while, she noticed that he was discreetly eyeing her, or more accurately, Hinata's body, then looking back at Hinata twiddling her fingers in _her_ own body. If she didn't know better, she'd guess that he was checking Hinata out! When she managed to catch Kankurou's gaze when it finally rose above her neckline, she narrowed her eyes at him, and he responded with a sheepish grin.

Hinata stood serene in good political fashion, inwardly marveling at how many people she recognized, though she still had trouble with names. There was a man with red markings on his cheeks making funny faces at her. A boy with messy brown hair swept slightly off to the side was offering her the biggest sunshine smile, but he looked older than she recalled. Two women, one with a long blond ponytail and one with short pink hair, were smiling and waving to her with their index fingers while still standing at attention. Her eyes scanned the officers again. Ah, now she was able to connect a name and face to Kankurou's haughty description of her cousin. Neji-niisan looked almost entirely stoic, except for the fact that his lip would turn upward ever so slightly when he glanced her way.

And there, standing right next to the Hokage, was Shikamaru-sensei, no, Captain Nara. Now that she was looking at him, she wondered how she could have ever forgotten him at all.

Shikamaru caught her looking at him, and gave her a raise of his eyebrows and a half-smile. He had to bite back a chuckle when she positively beamed back at him. _Yup_, he thought, _definitely Hinata. Happy about the smallest things._

After the Kages' formal chitchat, they led the way back down the dock to the elevator, Shikamaru pointing out and gesturing to a number of officers to follow them for the true reason for the Suna visit. The rest of the officers and crew saluted and resumed their duties. Hinata and Temari held onto their expressions of smiling indifference, but as soon as the elevator doors closed on their group, one who was paying attention outside could hear the squealing and clonking of people jumping up and down in geta sandals.

"HINA-CHAN!"

"TEMARI-NEE!"

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Yay for reunions! And thank you very much for 1,000 hits on this story! I honestly didn't think it would get that far, what with turning a bunch of ninjas into space voyagers and throwing them in ships and making the two main heroines NOT human. But I have to say I'm pleasantly surprised at the positive reviews and people's general interest. So THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!


	10. Not The Most Ideal Arrangement

**Disclaimer:** The characters are not mine. They are Kishimoto Masashi's. What I'm doing to them IS mine. And it's FREE. So no suing.

* * *

_I,  
Can turn a gray sky blue.  
I can make it rain, whenever I wanted to.  
Oh, I,  
I can build a castle from a single grain of sand.  
I can make a ship sail, uh, on dry land._

_But my life is incomplete and I'm so blue,  
'Cause I can't get next to you._

_- "I Can't Get Next To You" by The Temptations_

* * *

"HINA-CHAN!"

"TEMARI-NEE!"

"Well, we at least know they remember each other," Tsunade observed in amusement.

Temari and Hinata broke apart and spent the rest of the elevator ride reacquainting themselves with their relatives, much to Neji, Gaara, and Kankurou's relief when they found that the girls remembered who they were. Konohamaru silently typed in notes of the reunion into his handheld computer.

The large party stepped off the elevator and followed Shikamaru as he led them to his office. While everyone else was distracted and filing into the room, Temari whipped out a fan that had been tucked in her obi and whacked Kankurou on the top of his head.

"What the hell?!"

"Eyes up here, Romeo," Temari directed at her brother. He tried to give her a hard glare, but the pout he was sporting just wasn't helping. Temari continued. "Hinata's not one of your regulars. Don't treat her like one."

Kankurou scoffed, "What? What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about," she responded with finality. She pulled her brother's head down and roughly kissed his developing bruise, then headed into the office with everyone else. Kankurou followed after muttering something about stupid sisters and boobs he didn't remember being so big.

The two Sabakuno siblings walked in to find Hinata capturing Shikamaru in an enthusiastic hug.

"Shikamaru-sensei!" she exclaimed, before suddenly backtracking in abashment. "I-I'm sorry! Um, greetings to you, Captain Nara," she addressed with a low bow.

Temari snapped her fingers. "That's your name! And here I was just calling him 'Captain' and 'that guy with the hair'."

That seemed to get Shikamaru and Konohamaru's attention, but they did not say anything about it, though Shikamaru did motion for Konohamaru to keep notes. The Captain then opened a panel in his desk, pressed a few buttons, and the far wall across from him split horizontally and opened up into an adjoining conference room. Tsunade took the cushy captain's chair and moved it to the head of the conference room table, but looked around as she sat down.

"Where's Shino?"

"It was my understanding that he skipped the Kazekage's arrival in order to finish setting up the equipment. Perhaps he isn't finished?" Shizune asked.

Shikamaru looked around, taking in the computers, monitors, reclined chairs and headphones. "No...everything seems in order. I'm sure he'll be back shortly."

At that moment Shino quietly walked in, and Hinata and Temari immediately started sniffing the air.

"Cinnamon rolls?" asked a confused yet excited Hinata.

"Roasted chestnuts?" asked an anxious and mouth-watering Temari.

They both turned around, and found a smiling Shino holding a bag in each hand. "It's a pleasure seeing you again, ladies."

"Shino-sensei!" Hinata happily greeted. Temari took the two bags from him and handed the one containing the cinnamon rolls to her tall blond counterpart, while keeping the roasted chestnuts for herself. Shino watched carefully behind his dark glasses.

Shikamaru whispered to the engineer, "Still spoiling the girls five years later."

Shino nodded, "Yes, but I have scientific observation as my reasoning this time."

Tsunade took a seat at the head of the conference table. "Okay, now that everyone is present, let's get this meeting started."

Shizune, seated at Tsunade's left, pulled out a small portable computer tablet, hooked it up to a projecter, and pushed the projector to the center of the table. Upon activating it, a three-dimensional display lit up and hovered above the table. "Due to the highly classified nature of this meeting, please state your name and title to confirm your identity. Use your normal speaking voice. This file will only be accessible through voice identification if it needs to be referred to in the future."

"Senju Tsunade, Hokage."

"Sabakuno Gaara, Kazekage."

"Nara Shikamaru, Jounin Captain."

"Sarutobi Konohamaru, Chuunin Lieutenant."

"Aburame Shino, Tokubetsu Jounin, Engineering Corps."

"Haruno Sakura, Tokubetsu Jounin, Medical Corps."

"Yamanaka Ino, Tokubetsu Jounin, Doctor of Psychiatry."

"Hyuuga Neji, Jounin Lieutenant."

"Sabakuno Kankurou, Jounin Lieutenant."

A pause filled the room as everyone realized that Temari and Hinata would not be able to use voice identification while in each other's bodies. However, the young women already had their solution.

"Shizune-san, if you could please enable the local area network on your portable computer?" The blond bio-android asked kindly.

"Oh, of course!" The Hokage's assistant quickly tapped out instructions in her computer. "Okay, wireless access enabled."

Both girls gave their thanks, closed their eyes, but opened them a few seconds later.

"What's wrong?" Shikamaru asked.

Hinata gave him a perplexed look. "Nothing, actually, we identified ourselves without problem, it's just that--"

"--our connections were already open," Temari finished.

"Did you at any point since your retrieval recall activating or deactivating it?" Shino interjected.

Temari shook her head. "They've been open this whole time."

"You've had your minds' LAN accessible for over a month and you had no idea until now?" Tsunade sputtered worriedly.

"No." Everyone turned to the Keima Captain, surprised he answered. "This particular LAN is unique to them. It's a frequency that can only be reached using the latest bio-technology."

"So this frequency is for Temari and Hinata only? There was no way information could have been transferred from them by another party without their knowledge?"

Shino nodded. "Correct. As you may have noticed, none of your electronics and instrumentation have been affected because their personal LAN frequency does not interfere."

The Captain turned to the young women, "If you have no memory of turning it on, it could only mean you were connected before you were shuttled off to your safe points, during the aerial battle with the Sound. Do you remember anything?"

The young bio-androids only looked at each other. Hinata shook her head helplessly, and Temari tossed long blue-black hair over her shoulder. "No, there's nothing."

"But I'd bet anything they were facing a single enemy." Everyone turned to Konohamaru. "I was still just a kid when the project started, so Asuma-jisan had me play with Temari and Hinata as part of their socialization. You girls learned how to control and maintain the LAN connection by the time your bodies progressed to ten years old. From then on you tag-teamed on me and I never won a game against you again, anything from hide-and-go-seek to poker later on."

Shikamaru leaned back and scratched the back of his neck. "So the LAN connection was primarily used as a strategy." He looked over his shoulder and noticed Shino had led the young women behind Tsunade's auspicious seat at the head of the table to the two semi-reclined chairs situated on either side of a computer. Hinata and Temari laid back and placed headphones in their ears as Shino sat in front of the now-flashing monitor.

Kankurou, who had been sitting silently, taking in and making mental notes of the discussion, posed his question. "If this connection is undetectable by the standard instrumentation, would it be safe to assume that the enemy they faced had no idea of the damage they'd caused? If they weren't aware of it, I would think this result was unintentional."

His equally silent brother responded, "We cannot know for sure how much information the Sound has regarding Sarutobi Asuma's bio-android project. Granted, if the Sound intended to damage the girls in the way they did, they would have no way of knowing beyond reasonable doubt that they were successful. As it was stated, this LAN connection is essentially impenetrable by anyone who is not Temari or Hinata."

Tsunade nodded in understanding, "Not to mention they were jettisoned to safety immediately. If the Sound wanted to confirm their intended damage, they would have had to follow both of them, thaw them out, and wake them up. Which obviously was not the case."

Smalls beeps were heard from Shizune's computer, and the projector's three-dimensional image warped from the earlier roll call into the meeting's minutes. Shizune's own entries were displayed, and beyond that it looked as if someone else was contributing to it.

"_...Discussion on Sound's motivations and intentions – inconclusive without further research. Requires more information as H-1178 and T-3177 progress with repairs and memory reconstruction._

_--_

_User T-3177 - Testing Local Area Connection at standard frequency. Connect to portable Hokage terminal. Confirmed operational._

_User H-1178 - Testing Local Area Connection at standard frequency. Connect to portable Hokage terminal. Confirmed operational._

_Testing Unit Analog Connection. User T-3177 confirmed. User H-1178 confirmed. _

_User interface exchange. Failure._

_User T-3177 Command: Decrypt user interface occupying Unit T-3177. Failure._

_User H-1178 Command: Decrypt user interface occupying Unit T-3177. Success._

_User T-3177 Command: Access memory cortex of Unit T-3177. Success._

_Files copying..."_

"Whoa, hey, what's going on?" Kankurou asked, looking back and forth between the projection above the conference table and the two bio-androids sitting unconscious behind the Hokage.

Shikamaru smirked, "It seems Temari and Hinata have figured out a temporary solution."

"Mm, by the look of it, they tried to manually switch their UIs via their connection," Konohamaru noted.

"Right. Instead, it seems they've decrypted their UIs for each other, retrieved their memory files in the other's body, and are now copying them to their current bodies for easy access."

The Hokage rested her chin on her interlaced fingers. "How 'temporary' is this? How long will it take to restore their UIs?"

At this, Shino turned away from his computer monitor. "Much longer than originally anticipated. I just did a general skim of the user interface and unit codes, and it seems there is quite a bit missing or corrupted."

Gaara decided he could deal with a long timeline of events, as long as he and his brother could have Temari back, complete and in one piece. "Is it fixable?" he asked, eyes boring into the projection above him and reading his sister's attempts at her own repair.

"Absolutely. But it will take time. Although, I must admit, since the two have figured out this temporary solution of copying memory files to each other, the time it will take is certainly reduced. They may not be in their proper units, but keeping their interfaces one and whole with the correct memories makes working with them that much easier," the Aburame engineer observed as he pushed in dark glasses further up his nose.

Ino, who really had nothing to contribute to the meeting and already concluded that she was only there because she was an original member of the project six years ago, had to add her own concerns. "Considering all of this is supposed to be top secret, are you saying that Hinata and Temari have to retain their switched identities? Psychologically, it would be all well and good if it were for a short period of time. But we don't know how long finding a solution will take, and I frankly don't know how that will affect the psyche of a bio-android."

"It shouldn't be a problem," Captain Nara assured her. "They'd only be playing their parts in public, and most of their time will be spent with people who are aware of this situation, pretty much everyone at this table. At worst, they might pick up a few personality traits of the other that stick with them even when not pretending to be each other."

Kankurou laughed, "Well, if anything, it'd be entertaining if Hinata picked up Temari's cursing habit."

Neji crossed his arms over his chest. "I truly hope it doesn't come to that." He saw that the bio-androids were awake and approaching their seats at the table again. The Hyuuga immediately stood up to pull out the chair for the tall blond woman, who murmured a quiet yet gracious thanks to her nii-san.

The Hokage cleared her throat and brought everyone's attention back to the matters at hand. "Well, we have no conclusive evidence of the Sound's intent to harm Hinata and Temari the way they did. We also know that we can't switch them back so easily. What's our course of action?"

"In terms of the girls' recovery," Shino started as he returned to his own seat at the table, "I would like to have weekly meetings with them to review the lines of missing and corrupted code. My team and I will work on repairing and decrypting in the meantime."

Shikamaru nodded in approval, then added, "I'd also like you girls to visit with Ino and Sakura weekly to ensure that the long recovery and repairing process isn't hindering or harming you physically and psychologically."

"And what of the Sound?" Gaara intoned.

Tsunade snapped her fingers. "Ah! If I remember correctly, we have two people on the _Keima_ right now who are intimately familiar with the inner workings of the Sound. Am I right, Nara?"

"Yes, however, I would recommend saving that for later. Considering how close it is to lunch time," Shikamaru answered, glancing at his watch.

"Eh? What, are you hungry?"

"Yes ma'am, but aside from that, our Sound informants work in the mess hall."

"Oh." Tsunade frowned a moment before continuing. "Before we go back out there, I think it'd be a good idea if Hinata and Temari had escorts, as a safety precaution."

"We can take care of ourselves," Temari vouched stubbornly.

"I have no doubt that you can. But this is the Sound we're dealing with. I don't want either of you alone at anytime if you can help it. Hinata, because you're in Temari's body, it will be completely normal if Kankurou followed you around. As for Temari, I do have one person in mind. He's been pestering me about a transfer onto the _Keima _for the past couple of months anyway--"

"No! Tsunade-sama you can't be serious!" the erstwhile silent Sakura interrupted.

"And why not?"

"I know he's my best friend and I have nothing but praise for him, but he can't keep a secret to save his life. He'll blurt out some incriminating information within the first five minutes, I'm sure of it."

The Hokage chuckled easily and shrugged, "Then we just won't tell him." She pulled a communicator out of her pocket. "Oi, brat, how quickly can you get to Shikamaru's office for a meeting?"

Before an answer could be heard, Shikamaru's office door hissed open, and a blond officer with noon-sky blue eyes stomped in.

"It's about damn time, Granny! I was waiting outside the door forever!"

Tsunade withheld her reprimand for the jab at her age, but her irritation was obvious in the tone of her orders. "Jounin Lieutenant Uzumaki Naruto! You are hereby transferred from the _Kasai Arashi _to the _Keima_. Your first duty as an officer under Captain Nara Shikamaru—escort and bodyguard to Hyuuga Hinata."

Uzumaki Naruto faced the conference room table. An audible squeak came from a red-faced blond girl, and a distinct grumble came from a dark-haired girl, but her face was schooled into polite indifference. It took him a minute to connect the names to their faces. It'd been _years _since he'd seen them!

"Hinata?! How've you been?" he said after bounding over to her and nudging her in the shoulder.

Temari nearly squawked, but kept her mouth firmly shut in a tight smile. "I'm doing alright. It's nice to see you again."

"Aw, still so quiet and formal, but at least you're not stuttering. By the sound of the old lady's orders we're gonna be spending A LOT of time together. You gotta loosen up!" Naruto grinned and shook the pale-eyed woman by the shoulders playfully. Temari grit her teeth. _Fucking dumbass._

A tiny sniffle drew Temari's attention across the table to Hinata, who was staring at anywhere but Naruto, looking absolutely miserable. Naruto, who heard the sniffle but was oblivious to the reason behind it, looked up and sheepishly grinned at Hinata.

"Ah, I'm sorry for being rude, Temari! Have you been doing well in Suna?"

Hinata was not lost to the not-as-warm welcome she received from Naruto, but reminded herself that he only saw Temari when looking at her. "I-I've been quite well, and you?"

Naruto blinked, then smiled brightly, "Man, you've really grown up! I was half-expecting you to call me a dumbass like you did when you were a kid. It's good to see you're past that horrible bratty stage." Temari dug her nails into her palms to keep from pummeling the guy.

Tsunade rapped her knuckles on the table. "Okay, this meeting is over. However, I'd like to have a smaller and less formal one with our informants sometime after lunch, Nara, if you can arrange that."

"Yes, ma'am. Anyone else you'd like in attendance?"

"Hmm, Kazekage-sama, would you like to sit in?"

"Of course." Gaara confirmed.

"Right. Ino, Sakura, your duties have already been given, you're exempt from the meeting. Neji, I'll assume you'll show up if only to protect the Hyuuga's interests. The girls and their escorts won't be needed. Oh, but Nara, have Inuzuka join in too, if you can let him know. Meeting adjourned."

Before anyone could fully stand from their seats, Naruto had already grabbed Temari by the wrist and practically thrown the both of them halfway out the door.

"C'mon, Hinata-chan! Let's see if that teme will make me some ramen!"

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

And very sorry for the slowdown (details in my profile). I do intend to finish this story, so no worries there. It'll be easy considering this is the only story I ever intend to write. Ever.

Hope you caught my hint on who we'll see next... :malicious grin:


	11. Your Mismatched Interface Is Showing

**Disclaimer: **Characters belong to Kishimoto Masashi. This wondrous plot that you get to experience for free is mine. Okay, not wondrous, but it's FREE.

**Bit of Forewarning:** One of the reasons I rated this story T, was for a certain character who gets introduced in this chapter. Funnily enough, that character's name starts with a "T". :D

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

_Beware of pretty faces that you find  
A pretty face can hide an evil mind  
Ah, be careful what you say  
Or you'll give yourself away  
Odds are you won't live to see tomorrow_

_- "Secret Agent Man" by Johnny Rivers_

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"OI! Slow it down!"

Thanks to the knot on his head, Kankurou really couldn't have cared less if Naruto dragged his sister by her collar all the way down to the mess hall, but the look of shiny-eyed lip-biting worry Hinata shot his way broke his derisive humor, leaving something warm and mushy, and a tad guilty since it was _Hinata's _body Naruto was throwing around.

Naruto was already halfway to the elevator before freezing, stuck comically mid-sprint and caught off balance by Temari's weight. Despite her geta sandals and her body's smaller stature, Temari managed to roughly, though gracefully, straighten out the young man to a more balanced stance.

"Ah ha ha, thanks Hinata," the Lieutenant abashedly muttered.

"Hn," the lavender-eyed girl forcefully grinned.

By this time, Kankurou and Hinata had made their way to the other pair. The latter handed Temari the bag of roasted chestnuts accidentally left behind, and smiled kindly at Naruto.

"Please, if you don't mind, I would like to walk with you to the mess hall. I have yet to catch up with H-hina-chan." It felt surreal and oddly funny referring to herself in the diminutive.

Temari quickly linked arms with Hinata and pulled them ahead of the two lieutenants. Naruto made to walk right behind them, but Kankurou pulled him back by the elbow. When the blond looked back at him in confusion, the older man merely responded, "Girl talk," put his hands in his pockets, and followed the women at a leisurely pace. The other man did the same.

Up ahead, Temari whispered, "Thank you. So. MUCH."

Hinata giggled, "I couldn't very well let you kill Naruto-kun."

"Ah, and your motives are revealed. Okay, I promise not to kill him until he marries you and has half a dozen babies with you."

"T-temari-nee!" Hinata blushed furiously.

"I'm kidding! Sheesh."

Hinata fingered her blond bangs, "Honestly, it looked like he was about to break your arm. Or, _my _arm."

"Would you let me break _his _arm if he did?"

Hinata hesitated.

"Yeah, you don't have to answer that," Temari laughed.

The taller girl grinned brightly and rested her head on Temari's dark blue head. "I don't have to do anything now that I'm taller than you."

--

Back in the Captain's office, Shino pulled his superior aside.

"Shikamaru, this escort arrangement...it does not bode well."

The Nara snorted, "No kidding."

Tsunade cut in, "Don't worry, Aburame, I'm not stupid. Nara, talk to the girls for me. Let them know I invited Inuzuka to the second meeting for a reason."

"Aye, ma'am," he saluted, then headed to the cafeteria while pulling out his communicator to inform his pilot of the afternoon meeting.

--

The two bio-androids and their escorts could hear the foul-mouthed screeching before they turned the corner to mess hall.

"GODDAMMIT, YOU DIPSHIT! You fucked up my lasagna! Why the fucking hell would I fucking ask you to make a fucking spinach and cheese lasagna with NO FUCKING CHEESE?!"

When the young women turned the corner, they found a fiery redhead at the far end of the cafeteria counter stuffing ricotta in between layers of noodles and greens, her rapid curses coming out in a hiss that blew the hair away from her face. At the closer end of the counter, a young man with gravity-defying jet black hair was rubbing his face in aggravation.

"And wash your damn hands before serving again!"

Hinata and Temari certainly remembered the foul-mouthed woman, but the man, who had removed his hands from his face, was someone Temari didn't expect. Quite a bit had changed in the five years since the end of the bio-android project and the lives the girls started as ranking Ladies of their clans.

"Sasuke!" Lieutenant Uzumaki bounded over to the counter. Kankurou was quite sure if the glass sneeze-shield wasn't in place above the trays of food, Naruto would have jumped the counter. If Sasuke was thankful for it, he didn't show it.

"Dobe." His eyes remained half-lidded and lips thinned in irritation. "What are you doing here?"

"I just got transferred! Now we're all together again!" Naruto was bouncing on the balls of his feet at this point. "You and me, and Sakura-chan, Ino-chan, Kiba, Shino, Chouji...we're all on Shikamaru's ship now. Oh!"

The energetic blond turned around and found the other three members of his party, grabbed Temari's hand and pulled her next to him. "Sorry about that, Hinata-chan. I'll introduce you!" He gestured grandly to the dark-haired man who was still irritated, still holding a serving spatula. "This is Sasuke. You've probably heard of him. Sasuke, this is Hinata."

The Uchiha's gaze flickered over to Temari before he said, "We're familiar with each other."

Temari, completely thrown off by the fact that Hina-chan would be familiar with such a person, racked Hinata's now-accessible memories for anything regarding the Uchiha. Behind her, Hinata fidgeted in nervousness and kept her eyes to the floor. Neither girls' actions went unnoticed by the ever-observant Sasuke. He glanced down at the paper bag the blond woman was clutching, and noted that it contained _cinnamon rolls_. He returned his attention to Naruto, this time smirking.

"I believe Tayuya will be very happy to see the girls. She's at the far end with the lasagna."

Both women bowed in thanks, though Temari's white eyes were narrowed in suspicion and Hinata had a tiny nervous smile, and walked the length of the table to greet their old friend from the Sound. Kankurou, who certainly was no fool, never took his eyes off Sasuke as he patted Uzumaki on the back.

"Oi, Naruto, can you find us a table? Great, thanks."

"Hey, but I wanted to get ra-"

"Yeah, ramen. I'll take care of the food, just find a table," Lieutenant Sabakuno all but shoved the younger man towards the seating area.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Kankurou wasted no time. "So, you're familiar with Hinata?"

The Uchiha smirked. "Enough to know that of the two girls, she wasn't the one standing next to the dobe."

That caught Kankurou by surprise. He leaned in over the sneeze-shield and hissed, "How much do you know?" and nearly jumped out of his skin when a hand landed not-so-softly on his shoulder.

"He probably knows more than he should. Though most of it is just figuring it out on his own, am I right, Sasuke?"

"Captain," Sasuke greeted with a bow.

"Hn," the _Keima _Captain nodded. "The Hokage requested Tayuya's and your presence at the meeting this afternoon. My office, in two hours. You got anyone available to cover you?"

"I'm sure Tayuya will find someone."

"Great." Shikamaru eyed the troughs of food. "So, what do you have that's good today?"

Sasuke reached under the counter for a tray bearing enough onigiri for a small party. "Tayuya said these were for you, Shino, and whoever else you had along."

Captain Nara accepted the tray, nodded in thanks, and offered Kankurou one of the finely-shaped rice balls. The Lieutenant reluctantly took one and put it on his own tray. Sure, it was made by former sworn enemies of Konoha and Suna, but Shikamaru trusted them, it was probably fine. Maybe. He honestly didn't understand why the Captain trusted these people with feeding his crew.

"Have fun, Kankurou, Sasuke, and play nice," Shikamaru said with a hint of teasing before heading down the length of the counter towards the young women conversing with Tayuya.

Sabakuno immediately rounded on Uchiha again. "So?"

"How is my familiarity with Hinata of any concern to you?" The Uchiha didn't miss a beat, or an opportunity to smirk in defiance.

As much as he wanted to, Kankurou couldn't outright say, "Because she's hot and you're a prick" so he tried to play it off. "I'm her assigned bodyguard and escort. You're the former apprentice of the Leader of the Sound. I'd say my concerns are legitimate."

Though Sasuke's expression remained the same, the sudden darkness in his already black eyes unnerved the Lieutenant. "I see. You should ask her yourself. It's certainly no secret." And he turned away to tend to a steamed fish on the table behind him.

Kankurou huffed in annoyance, but before he took his first step, he was stopped by the Uchiha's monotone voice. "Ramen is at the soup bar. Add barbecue pork and extra naruto, no vegetables. I don't want the dobe coming back whining about his food."

"Uh, thanks."

--

The furious mutterings of the redhead fussing over spinach lasagna came out as a shallow hiss that increased in intensity with every layer she uncovered that was cheeseless.

"Fucking ridiculous moron can't cook worth a twittering shit...no fucking cheese...god-fucking-awful..."

She sucked in the last vulgarity she was about to utter when she sensed two people approach her on the other side of the counter. When she looked up, however, her annoyance at being interrupted mid-cuss-laden spew dissipated. Tayuya didn't think the girls would visit her this soon, but she was hardly complaining.

"What's up, bitches?" she cried with a huge grin.

The petite blunette snorted, and the blond blushed in embarrassment. _Hold the phone here..._

Before she could say anything, Temari and Hinata bowed, and Hinata greeted, "Pleasure to see you again, Tayuya-san." Temari merely smiled. Something was up, Tayuya decided. She had her suspicions, but there was no harm in having a little fun with it.

"Alright, I know something's going on with you two. You don't have to tell me." She sighed dramatically. Hinata turned stone-faced and Temari flinched.

"Damn it, I _knew _I shouldn't have let that fuckwit Uchiha help me with the cinnamon buns and the chestnuts! Shit! How terrible are they?! My first fucking gifts with your favorite foods to welcome you back, and they're a fucktastic mess, aren't they? AREN'T THEY?!"

She stared down the girls, one who was gripping her food tray so hard her knuckles were in danger of tearing open, and the other who looked like she was going to cry. Surprisingly, it was the latter girl who spoke up.

"I as-s-sure you, T-t-tayuya-san, your gifts were q-quite lovely and t-tasted delicious."

Tayuya held her expression of fury for another few seconds before she burst out cackling.

"Ha! I'm sure you'd eat the cinnamon buns, regardless of how crappy they were, Hinata."

The blond's face instantly flooded red while the real Temari leaned over the glass, "That easy to tell, huh?"

Tayuya rolled her eyes, "You'd have to be a complete dumbass not to notice."

As if on cue, they heard Naruto shout over the cafeteria's normal hum of activity. "OI! Hinata-chan! I found us a table!"

Temari plastered a sugary grin on her face and gave him a little wave, then turned back around. "And I think that just proved your observation, Tayuya."

"Temari-nee!" Hinata scolded. "It's just been awhile is all. Anybody would have trouble recognizing someone else after a few years."

"Tayuya caught on almost immediately. In fact, Uchiha picked up on it, and that was the first time he'd met me!" Temari countered.

"But--"

"And don't think you're off the hook there, deary, you're going to tell me all about how you got 'familiar' with that jackass."

"Oh, not you guys too. Is it that shocking that Sasuke and Hinata know each other?"

Temari spun around at the voice. "Captain," she recovered and greeted silkily. "Will you be joining us at our table?"

"For a bit, then I'm heading back for the meeting." Shikamaru answered unaffectedly, then turned to Hinata. "I need to speak with the two of you beforehand. In private."

"Of course, Shikamaru-sensei." Hinata bowed. The Nara looked quite amused and patted the top of her head. Tayuya was the only one who picked up on Temari's nearly imperceptible frown, and sighed to herself. _Five years later and nothing's changed. _She decided to ease the one-sided tension.

"Now, I know you didn't stop by here just for the small talk, Captain. You're not one to socialize."

Shikamaru shrugged, "Just wanted to thank you for the onigiri. And I thought I heard some yelling about lasagna on the way here."

Tayuya chuckled as she scooped some lasagna onto a plate for the man. "Will you be bringing the onigiri to your meeting?" she asked while discreetly looking over his shoulder.

"Yeah," he answered, and with a knowing raise of an eyebrow, added, "I'll be sure to save plenty for Shino."

She narrowed her eyes as she snarled, "Damn smartass," and shoved the lasagna plate into Shikamaru's waiting hands. Hinata and Temari were careful to avoid eye contact, lest they burst into giggles and risk their friend's wrath.

Thankfully, they were saved when Shikamaru motioned for them to follow him, and the girls said their goodbyes, hefted their trays that were generously filled with food by Tayuya, and headed toward Naruto and the table he had held for them. As soon as they sat down, Shikamaru turned to Naruto.

"Hey Naruto, I'm sorry, but could you get the girls some drinks? Thanks."

"Huh? Why didn't you get them while you were up there?" he grumped.

Temari, knowing they just needed the guy away from the table for a minute, was grateful she was in an abominably cute body at that moment. "Please, Naruto-kun? It must have slipped our minds when we were catching up with Tayuya-san." She batted her eyeslashes and twirled a blue lock of hair around her finger for good measure.

He was hooked. "Uh, yeah, sure, Hinata-chan! Be right back!" And he leapt from his seat.

Shikamaru shook his head, "Doesn't even know what you want to drink. Anyways," he continued as he dug into his lasagna. "Just wanted to let you know you won't be stuck with your current escorts at all times--"

"Really?" Temari exclaimed. Hinata's relieved grin took over her face.

"You won't be stuck _all_ the time with Naruto and Kankurou, but they will be your primary escorts for security's sake. The Hokage has asked that Kiba attend the second meeting to assign him as a back-up escort. But you can't call on him all the time. He's the pilot and lead navigator, and that's his priority."

Hinata nodded in understanding, "Why has Tsunade-sama approved a back-up?"

"Because it just wouldn't be healthy to have you not only in switched bodies, but also in a situation that is emotionally stressful."

Temari rolled her eyes, "No freaking kidding."

Shikamaru sighed his agreement. "I don't even know why she assigned you Naruto and Kankurou at all. With you, Temari, you'll have to NOT be yourself to keep Naruto in the dark. And with you, Hinata, you'll constantly be around a male you hardly know. It's just stupid how perfectly your assigned escorts DON'T fit your personalities."

It didn't seem to fully hit Hinata until that moment how dire her situation was, and her breaths turned worryingly shallow. A man she wasn't related to following her around, eating with her, watching over her. Would he have to bunk with her? What about going to the bathroom? She began to panic, and Temari immediately wrapped an arm around her.

"Hina-chan, it'll be fine. Kankurou's not really a stranger, and he knows exactly who you are. You'll be okay. I trust my brother," she said comfortingly.

Hinata swallowed hard and began breathing deeply before turning to Temari. "I'm s-so sorry, Temari-nee! I shouldn't be so selfish, and it's not like Kankurou-kun is not trustworthy...your predicament is far worse than mine, to have to retain a false identity for your escort," she sniffled. She would trade with Temari any day, and it had nothing to do with the fact that she'd be trading Kankurou for Naruto. Temari was outspoken, confident, and so very _herself _that to have to hide it, it just seemed so _wrong _to Hinata. Shikamaru was right: they couldn't have gotten worse escorts if it had been planned.

It seemed Naruto was headed back with a tray full of different beverages, so Shikamaru gathered his empty plate and tray of onigiri. "Don't forget, you're seeing Ino on a weekly basis too, so if you need to relieve some stress, talk to her. She's there to help." He wasn't the type of person one would seek comfort from, so he awkwardly gave each girl a squeeze on the shoulder before walking away.

At that moment, Naruto plopped the tray in the middle of the table and sat down. "Uh, sorry, I forgot to ask what you wanted, so I got a glass of everything..."

Temari pursed her lips to keep from cursing his idiocy, but Hinata beamed in appreciation, "How thoughtful of you, Naruto-kun!"

The Lieutenant blinked. And blinked again. Before his mental gears could start turning again, Temari smiled sweetly and bowed her head, "Yes, th-thank you, Naruto-kun." The stutter was from gritting her teeth so hard rather than shyness, but Naruto didn't need to know that.

"Ah ha ha, you're welcome, ladies!" _I guess it really has been awhile_, he thought. But further thought was cut short when Kankurou slid a huge bowl of barbecue pork ramen under his nose. Extra naruto. No veggies. It was _perfect_.

Lieutenant Sabakuno grinned deviously, "Sasuke knew exactly how you liked your ramen."

Overcome with emotion, complete with watering eyes and trembling lip, Naruto turned in his seat and found Sasuke behind the counter serving macaroni.

"SASUKE-TEME! You remembered!"

Sasuke fled to the back room.

"BAKA! YOU DROPPED THE GODDAMN SERVING SPOON!!"

--

"Second classified Kage meeting, three new attendees, Inuzuka Kiba, Uchiha Sasuke and Tayuya of the Sound present," Shizune announced for the meetings minutes.

"Alright," Tsunade cracked her knuckles, then folded her hands in front of her on the table and looked at the former Sound soldiers. "Can I assume Captain Nara informed you what this meeting is about?"

"Yes, ma'am." the Sound informants answered in unison.

"Fantastic. Let's get this done quickly. We already know that Sabakuno Temari and Hyuuga Hinata were targeted and attacked in a way that we can only conclude was specific to their unique existence. However, we don't know why, nor do we know if the result we find ourselves in was the Sound's intention."

Tayuya cleared her throat solemnly. "Hokage-sama, I believe we can deduce the reason behind the attack to the girls. However, the end result would certainly require more research."

"It's a step closer. What do you believe is Orochimaru's reasoning?" Tsunade questioned.

Sasuke leaned forward in his seat. "What he's always wanted: immortality."

The Kazekage betrayed no emotion, but asked, "He specifically _attacked _two bio-androids looking for immortality?"

Captain Nara understood. "He attacked, but didn't harm them. He could have been looking to capture them."

"But why the girls? They're not immortal." the Hokage asked.

"No, they're not," Shino interjected. "But their aging was manipulated. It could be enough for Orochimaru to research and perfect a method of completely halting the aging process." He pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose before postulating further. "Asuma-sensei had discussed the matter with Shikamaru and I before—we know how to speed up then slow down the aging process of a bio-android. Technically, if we wanted to, we could take it a step further and stop it altogether."

Tsunade's expression darkened. "He could have taken any member of the original project then. Why Temari and Hinata?"

"Orochimaru has always sought immortality," Tayuya answered, "solely because he wants the time to be able to learn more, learn _anything_: battle tactics, combat methods, biological advances in warfare, secrets of clans, secrets of nations. Anything he could use to further his power beyond those around him, with an endless lifetime to take advantage of it."

Sasuke hummed in agreement, "And as I understand it, no one retains more information or knows more about their clan and country than two bio-androids who not only have mental capacities beyond supercomputers, but also have rank and power equivalent to clan matriarchs."

Tsunade exhaled in frustration. "Well, shit. Where does that leave us?"

Shikamaru took over. "Orochimaru may have temporarily debilitated them with his attack, but he wasn't able to take advantage of it. Asuma-sensei had the foresight to program safe points for Temari and Hinata in case of an emergency, and it's really what saved them."

"And we've concluded that no information was taken from the girls' minds while they were unconscious," confirmed Shino.

Gaara crossed his arms. "But we don't know if it was Orochimaru's plan to switch their user interfaces. Granted, I certainly can't see the benefit of it, but we cannot be sure that it was an accident."

Tsunade mulled for a moment. "I think we've gone as far as we can with what we know. Tayuya, Sasuke, I'd like to continue including you in these meetings."

"Yes, ma'am."

"You may return to your duties in the mess hall, thank you." Tayuya and Sasuke bowed and dismissed themselves.

Tsunade turned to her officers, "Shino, Shikamaru, I want those weekly reports sent to me directly. Gaara, would you like the reports as well?"

The Kazekage nodded mutely.

"Wonderful. Captain, I want you to update the project members that were not present for the meeting." The Hokage turned to Kiba. "And we get to your part in this whole operation."

"Yes, ma'am" the Inuzuka acknowledged.

"You are to serve as a back-up escort if Naruto or Kankurou are unable to perform their duties or if Hinata or Temari feel they need some time separated from them. However, your background in the Spec Ops and your high rank will serve us well in reconnaissance, which will be your main duty. _Highly classified _main duty."

"How much information is my team allowed to know?" Kiba asked.

"Need-to-know basis only. The less, the better. The only fully informed people are you and those who attended the first meeting. Are we clear?"

"Crystal."

"Good. Shizune, close it up."

"Yes, ma'am. Classified Kage meeting adjourned."

As everyone stood from their seats, the Hokage clapped her hands. "Oh! Shikamaru, does Tayuya serve sake?"

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

**Author's Note:**

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

_To Cindy_ - Thank you for the lovely in-depth review! I got a kick out of the parallel you drew between Kirk and Spock and Shikamaru and Shino, because I've never watched an episode of Star Trek in my life. ; Either way, I'm glad you're enjoying the story!

--

The song I picked for this chapter was for Naruto, because he really needs to watch himself if he's going to survive with Temari, LOL.

If you hadn't guessed by now, I'm pairing up Naruto and Temari. I just want to make the pairings clear in case there are people reading this and hoping for something else, or that I'll change my mind. Nope. Straight up NaruTemaShikaHinaKanky. It's gonna get _messy_, but it will eventually end with ShikaHina and NaruTema. All other characters are fair game for your wild imaginings and/or suggestions. ;)


	12. You Learn Something New Everyday

_I can't get no satisfaction  
I can't get no girl reaction  
'cause i try and i try and i try and i try_

_- "Satisfaction" by The Rolling Stones_

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

_Slide. Click_.

The pieces were in front of him, but did they make sense?

_Click_.

Hardly.

_Click_.

As the captain moved a sacrificial piece on the Shougi board, the pieces of an intangible puzzle, spawned from the genius and guidance of his mentor, floated in his mind with no discernibly fitting edges.

_Slide. Click_. The reigning king was captured.

He had to make them fit. Playing Shougi by himself was supposed to be therapeutic, but it wasn't effective in getting the cogs moving. Ever since they completed the first of the weekly check-ups and Shino updated him on the findings, things had taken a turn. And Shikamaru couldn't even tell what kind of turn it was. Good, bad, u-turn, three-pointer, corkscrew? Where to go from here?

"_Shikamaru, are you preoccupied?"_

_The captain closed the file of paperwork he was reading and tossed it to the far end of his desk, contents forgotten already._

"_Nothing important, Shino. How did the review go?"_

_If the Aburame wasn't wearing his trademark dark glasses, his superior would have seen the flicker of frustration in his eyes._

"_My initial scan-through at the meeting was only the tip of the iceberg. What we've found today could be much more complex."_

"_Complex? I thought we were just going through and filling holes in the girls' codes? It sounds more tedious than complex."_

_Shino uncharacteristically dropped himself in the chair in front of the captain's desk, swept the glasses off his face and pinched the bridge of his nose in one fluid movement. When he actually looked back up and stared at Shikamaru openly without the obstacle of darkened lenses, Shikamaru knew he was about to get a good whiff of the shit that was to hit the fan._

"_I've confirmed that the resultant missing portions of code were intentional."_

"_Excuse me?" It was enough to make the normally lazy Nara sit up ramrod straight._

"_There's a definite pattern in the code. Not a numerical pattern. A simple visual pattern."_

"_What, like someone's cut out a snowflake in binary code?" Indeed, it sounded even more absurd when __Shikamaru said it out loud._

"_If that's how you want to phrase it, yes. But the pattern of holes in each set of UI code doesn't seem to have any meaning by themselves. It's when I overlapped the two UI codes on top of each other that the pattern became visible."_

"_How did you know to overlap them?"_

"_Do you remember how Temari was able to recall what you looked like, but couldn't name you? And Hinata knew your name, but only after she saw you?"_

"_Yes...they had differing but complementary lapses in their memories."_

"_Exactly. Complementary. What one did not have, the other had and could provide. So it seemed logical to put the two codes together, and it seemed there was more than two parts to the picture, judging by the pattern of holes that appeared."_

"_Oh, for crap's sake." Shikamaru heaved a sigh. Was this some kind of joke? "Does the pattern itself reveal a way to fill in the missing code?"_

_Shino shined his dark glasses with the corner of his shirt before putting them back on. "No. But I do have my own theories. However, my team and I will need more time and a few more sessions with Hinata and Temari."_

"_Is there a way to tell if the pattern was caused by Orochimaru's attack?" Did he actually manage to infiltrate?_

"_I can't be certain, but I suspect that he is not aware of the consequences of his attack. He would have put in the effort to follow the girls to their safe points and taken them if he knew their codes were puzzle pieces waiting to be completed."_

_That sounded reasonable enough. Orochimaru was the type to take what he wanted without ceremony. Obviously, he didn't know what he had done and probably assumed his attack was a failure. But one couldn't too be sure, so Shikamaru made a note to have Kiba and his team look into it._

_But something else troubled him. If they had missing sections of code, how were they even awake? "How serious are the holes? Is it affecting either of their functions?" _

"_It's certainly slowing down their brain functions. They're still beyond human capabilities, but there's a significant difference, even when comparing this data to their less advanced five-year-old data."_

_Shikamaru sat back in his chair and connected his hands only at his fingertips, while Shino patiently waited as his captain took on his typical position of meditative thought. The Nara ran through all confirmed facts—Temari and Hinata's user interfaces were switched. The missing codes prevented them from switching back. And for some bizarre reason, those holes formed a pattern, that not only had meaning when the UI codes were overlapped, but took away the girls' more advanced supercomputer capabilities. So much so, that their five years of evolving intelligence was practically negligible._

"_Do the girls know about this?"_

_Shino shook his head, "No, I came straight to you as soon as I assessed the situation."_

_The captain hummed his approval. "Good. Let's keep it that way for the time being."_

That's why Shougi was easy. He knew where all the pieces were: he had his own at his full disposal, and a full accounting of all his enemies with one look at the board. He reluctantly accepted that there was no solving this puzzle without knowing what and where all the relevant pieces were.

---

Hyuuga Neji should have known that no matter how distinguished his rank, he would always be the Hyuuga errand-boy.

"_Neji-niisan, as soon as you get this message contact me back. Don't tell Father."_

He could have had things to do, lieutenant-y things that were really important, but no. Family came first. And though he acted so exasperated with it all, he would never admit that the Hyuuga sisters had him wrapped around their fingers and he didn't mind. Even Hiashi, had he demanded an instantaneous response, would have had to wait at least a few minutes more than either Hinata or Hanabi.

In this case, it was Hanabi, the heiress of the Hyuuga Clan, and she was at her wit's end with worry wondering what the hell happened to Hinata and why she couldn't contact her for weeks. Hiashi would not tell her anything, either to protect her, or to keep her focused on her specialized studies, Hanabi didn't care. So the next time her kindly old assistant came into her room to get her fitted in her formal kimono for yet another big dinner party, she begged the elderly woman to let her borrow her handheld communicator to reach Neji. Her father would know if his daughter used her own.

Within three minutes, Neji rung back, irritated, but still calling back all the same.

"Neji-nii, what's going on? I can't reach Nee-san, and Father won't tell me anything!" Hanabi wailed into the communicator she was gripping in a stranglehold. Her assistant bustled around her, completely unfazed as she made adjustments to the girl's robes.

"Hanabi-sama, this couldn't wait until you were fully dressed?" he asked while averting his eyes from his communicator screen.

"Oh, stop pretending to be a gentleman. And I _am_ dressed. I'm just being fitted," the girl snapped back. "So? What's happened?"

Neji debated internally whether to tell her the recent events. Even though he informed his Uncle Hiashi of the situation, it seemed the older man didn't forward that information to his younger daughter. Sure, she was an adult, just turned nineteen. But it _was_ some fairly distressing news, and Hanabi had a tendency to get fired up easily. Neji concluded that even if he and Hiashi tried to hide it from Hanabi, she would find out anyway.

"She's been in....an accident, of sorts."

"What?!" Hanabi's eyes bulged out of her head, and her assistant tutted her to keep still while she was working with pins on her robe's hem.

"But Hinata-sama is perfectly fine. Physically."

"Physically? So what, did she hit her head or something? Stop being an ass and tell me!"

Neji huffed. He was just trying to break it to her easy!

"Fine. She and Temari were attacked via computer and they've switched personalities."

Hanabi's gaping, anxious mouth snapped shut and she just stared at the communicator's screen for a moment.

"Nee-san...is not in her own body?"

"No. She is in Temari's. And Temari is in hers."

"And this is what Father has been hiding from me?"

"Pretty much."

Hanabi knew Nii-san was lying, or at least not giving her the whole story. Her father wouldn't hide something so trivial, but at least now she knew her sister was alive and well.

"When can I talk to her?"

"Pardon?" Neji sputtered. It was bad enough that Hanabi was sneaking onto a borrowed communicator AND he told her what had happened to Hinata-sama when his uncle had been keeping her in the dark.

"You heard me. I wanna talk to her," she grinned impishly. She should have grown out of pulling that off at ten years old, but that specific curve of her mouth and mischievous glint in her eyes worked to its full effect anyways.

"How do you expect me to reach you? That's not your communicator, and your father will know if I contact you on your own communicator."

"Text me a blank message at my communicator from someone else's communicator, and I'll call you back at that number from another communicator," Hanabi answered matter-of-factly. _Like she's done this before_, Neji thought, not without some curiosity. He mulled and grumbled a bit even though he already knew he'd do what she wanted.

"Alright, I'll call you when I see her and I'm available."

"That better be soon."

"Hanabi...."

"LoveyouNejiniisanbye!" and the face of the grinning teenager blipped to black on the lieutenant's communicator screen.

---

It had been one and a half weeks since Gaara left to resume his duties as Kazekage. One and half weeks since getting stuck with Uzumaki. i_Only_/i one and a half weeks. Temari, as a bio-android of a short six years of age, never did understand the concept and reasoning behind a human's desire to commit such heinous acts as murder or suicide, but right now, she thought she was coming closer to the answer.

"Hiiiinaaataaaa-chaaaan!"

_Jesus Fucking CHRIST._

"So what do you want to do today?"

Temari and Naruto were sitting in the mess hall. Having finished her breakfast, she was left with watching Naruto slurp up the remains of his own meal. Ramen. Again. She gingerly wiped one of his wayward broth drops that landed on her cheek.

"Is there anyone you want to visit? Or do you wanna just hang out? Does Shikamaru have any entertainment on this ship?"

The energetic young man had asked these questions everyday since he was assigned as her escort and bodyguard. And it wasn't like she knew about the ship anymore than he did—she had been in Suna for the last five years, and Shikamaru's ship was only a few months old. So everyday, they ended up wandering around, bumping into people and playing catch up with them (as Hinata, so she had to be careful). If Naruto was so fortunate, Sasuke would be around and he'd bug the reformed traitor until he threatened to go back to the Sound. Sometimes Temari even got to relax with Hinata and Kankurou, but it didn't happen as often as she would have liked. There was one wonderful day after the first psych session when Ino pointed them to one of the recreation rooms, and Naruto was occupied with video games for several hours. Temari took that opportunity to go through Hinata's memories, under the guise of "meditating". She still wanted to know how Hina-chan and Sasuke were acquainted with each other.

Even after several hours of searching through Hinata's memories, she didn't find anything. But it wasn't that Hinata was hiding the memory somewhere. Temari was having trouble searching at her usual speed. She attributed it to the fact that she just wasn't used to being in a new body, and she technically was still recovering, but it still left a bitter taste in her mouth. She decided she knew what she wanted to do for the rest of the morning.

"Er, Naruto...kun. I was thinking perhaps we could find another recreation room. I'd like to meditate again, if that's alright." She added a winning smile that turned into a grimace when the blond officer sucked in his last noodle so fast it slapped his nose.

"Ehrr?" he swallowed deeply. "Oh, yeah, that sounds cool. I already took up the entire Top Ten on the Street Fighter II game in the other rec room."

Temari felt the urge to challenge his stats, then promptly quashed the feeling. So what if she was undefeated in Suna with Street Fighter II? She didn't have to prove herself to Uzumaki. _But it'd be __nice to kick his ass at it, just for the hell of it. Maybe after I find something on Uchiha in Hina-chan's memories..._

"Oi, Hinata-chan, you ready to go?" Naruto had stood up and was holding out his hand to Temari in gentlemanly fashion.

"Sure," she replied as she daintily (or was it gingerly?) placed her hand in his and allowed him to help her out of her seat.

---

Naruto walked silently next to Hinata, arms behind his head, eyes squinted in what could only be deep contemplation. He had hoped after spending over a week with him Hinata would relax some. He remembered years ago, meeting her and Temari as small children, and how Hinata wouldn't say a word to him. She was nervous and fidgety, and it was like pulling teeth trying to make eye contact with her. At first he thought he scared her, or she didn't like him, but Sakura had assured him at the time that she was just very shy.

Obviously, Hinata had grown up. She spoke to him, was able to look at him without getting flustered, but she was still distant and formal. Naruto reasoned that it was her role as a Lady of the Hyuuga, but he was kind of hoping that knowing each other from years before would open her up. It would make his job a hell of a lot easier if the person he was assigned to follow at all hours was _friendly_.

Perhaps she didn't have many friends? Or she didn't know how to make new friends? Yes, that had to be it! With her past issues with shyness, and growing up to be one of the most powerful people in a prestigious clan, _of course_ it would be difficult for Hinata to make friends! And, Naruto reminded himself, she was barely six years old, so it's not like she had the time to figure these things out on her own. Well, if Uzumaki Naruto was good at anything, it was being a friend!

And what do friends do? They have conversations. He could certainly do that. There was always something to talk about. But this was Hinata. He didn't want to scare her, or have her grow even more distant. What could they possibly talk about? He was man enough to admit he knew nothing of politics, so that was out the window. And he got the distinct feeling Hinata wouldn't be interested in the rich history, varied flavors, or technical cooking methods of ramen.

But there was something that had been niggling at his mind for the past week. He was unsure about it the day Granny Tsunade gave him his bodyguard mission, but on the days he and Hinata bumped into Kankurou and Temari, he started to get downright suspicious. Well, now, this was just perfect: he can ask Hinata for advice. That's a good way to start a friendship right?

"Hinata-chan?"

She continued walking at her leisurely pace. "Yes?"

"You know Temari pretty well, right?"

There was a pause. "Quite well."

"Oh, good! Maybe you could help me?"

"I suppose I could try." _Yes!_ Naruto thought, _Friendship foundation in the making!_

"Er, well, maybe you know better than I do, but I always thought Temari hated me."

Hinata merely blinked. "Hated you? What made you think that?"

"Well, she put laxative in my ramen, served me warmed-over dirty sink water and called it tea, made a voodoo doll of me and stabbed nothing but the eyes and crotch, shaved my eyebrows in my sleep, and told Sakura that I frequently have pornographic dreams of Sasuke. All before she turned 10."

Hinata sucked in her lips. Was she trying not to laugh? "Ah, well, you know how children can get..."

"Right. Thank God she grew out of that. By the time you two were teenagers, she just resorted to calling me a dumbass instead of using my name."

"I...guess you could take that as a sign that she was growing up?"

"Maybe. But since I got here, she's been nothing but nice to me. Sweet, even."

Hinata cleared her throat uncomfortably. Did she know something he didn't? "We're adults now. I don't think she's going to play pranks on you or call you names, especially as the respected sister of the Kazekage."

Naruto absently scratched his cheek in thought. "But...well, you'd have a better idea since you're a highly respected politician-type! I mean, is it normal for her to offer to make me a bento? Or tighten up the loose stitch in my jacket? Or remember obscure things, like that I absolutely love orange soda?"

The Hyuuga woman, too regal to actually snort, merely made a snuffing noise in amusement, or irritation, Naruto couldn't be sure. "I'll admit that isn't exactly normal..."

The two continued to walk down a quiet hall looking for another recreation room. Naruto thought that the conversation was going quite well. He was getting her to open up a little bit about something that wasn't business or politics-related. Perhaps now was the time to just ask what was on his mind.

"Hinata-chan?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think Temari's got a crush on me?"

"WHAT?!"

-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-

**Author's Notes:**

Thanks for reading and reviewing! Especially the reviews...there was a huge jump in the number of reviews after posting the last chapter! Considering the utter absurdity of my AU, I'm surprised I haven't gotten a single flame. :D Glad you're all enjoying the story!


	13. Game On

**Disclaimer: **The characters belong to Kishimoto Masashi, the video games mentioned belong to whomever developed them (don't feel like looking). You know, fanfiction should be considered free advertising. Why would they want to sue?

* * *

_Know that something very strange  
Is happening to my brain.  
I'm either feeling very good  
Or else I am insane.  
The seeds of doubt you planted  
Have started to grow wild  
But feel that I must yield before  
The wisdom of a child_

_- "Sweet Young Thing" by The Monkees_

* * *

"Hinata-chan?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think Temari's got a crush on me?"

"WHAT?!"

Naruto jumped away so fast he didn't realize just how close the wall was until he hit it full force. He would have had a good laugh if he hadn't been so terrified of the petite Hyuuga standing next to him. Her normally soft lavender eyes were a blazing angry white, and her shoulders were hunched like a violently defensive wildcat. This was _not_ what he was expecting _at all._

"Heh, H-hinata-chan, I was just kidding...kind of. I'm s-sorry!"

He wasn't even sure what he was sorry for, but he said it anyway. And before the Lieutenant could so much as confirm he didn't wet himself, Hinata took a quick calming breath, blinked, and adorned that formal yet distant smile he was so used to by now. If her initial reaction was scary, he wasn't sure he could think of the proper word to describe the bio-android's quicker-than-quick cool down. She turned back to continue their walk in search of a new recreation room before looking over her shoulder.

"Naruto-kun, you're coming, aren't you?"

He gulped, "Uh, yeah."

---

Temari thought she was going to throttle the blond nitwit. Her hands were currently shaking like they were begging to do it, but she clasped them hard and held them in front of her. To the average bystander, she just looked like Hyuuga Hinata nervously fiddling with her hands while walking with her longtime crush, Uzumaki Naruto.

How could he _possibly_ come up with that conclusion, and _now_ of all times, after all these years? Hinata had been enamored with the boy since they were ten, and she would burn red in the face and stutter nonsense whenever he was around. And that was if she actually managed to stay conscious long enough. Towards Hinata's weeks as an early teen, she had taken to fainting. It had gotten so bad that the ever-lazy Shikamaru set to work and specially developed wireless earbuds for her to wear whenever Naruto came around, just so he could remotely keep her awake and monitor her from his handheld computer. Of course, Naruto didn't have a clue what was going on, and just assumed Hinata was working out her bio-android glitches.

But Hinata seemed fine now, and surprisingly, Naruto was right: she was being quite forward, at least compared to what she was like five years ago. Temari concluded the body switch made it easier for Hinata to express her emotions without feeling self-conscious. And the thought of Hinata opening up and expressing herself made Temari feel proud of her sister bio-android. She just wished it didn't make it look like Sabakuno Temari, Lady of the Sabakuno Clan and sister of the Kazekage was infatuated with Naruto. How utterly laughable, if not horrifying.

Within minutes, Temari could make out the familiar sounds of heavy thudding on a wrestling mat and girlish grunting and squealing coming from a recreation room just yards away.

_Oh, don't tell me..._

Temari's suspicions were confirmed when she and Naruto approached the entrance and found Kankurou and Hinata playing one of Kankurou's favorite games, "Rumble Roses XX", featuring scantily-clad, overly busty girls wrestling. By the look of it, Hinata wasn't all that into the game.

"C'mon, you're not even trying! See, you just come up next to me, press B...there! Now you're pinning me!"

"K-kankurou-kun! I c-can see her undergarments!"

"Oh, that's nothing. Watch this!"

At that point, Kankurou started using his controller to change the angle of the camera to get a better view of his own pinned and spread-eagled character's panties. Hinata squealed in horror and covered her eyes with her hands.

"Aw, don't let go of the controller, you'll release the submission hold! Damn, didn't even get to save the picture..."

Temari chose this time to announce their arrival with a small cough. Hinata spun around wide-eyed while Kankurou just tilted his head back on the couch to get an upside-down view of a slack-jawed Naruto and a peeved-looking...well, Hinata, but with his sister's all-too-familiar annoyed expression. He idly wondered if Hinata herself ever got angry, and made a mental note that once the girls switched back, he'd have to figure out a way to piss her off. He imagined she'd be ridiculously hot when in a rage. Well, there was _one_ way to get a hint of it.

"Hey, _Hinata_, want to try your hand at Rumble Roses? Temari doesn't seem to enjoy the game and I want to get some good upskirt shots," he said with a cocky wink.

Naruto, reading the wink as something entirely different and sensing the girl's temper flaring up again, gesticulated wildly behind her back to tell Kankurou to cut it out. Obviously, Lieutenant Sabakuno was not aware of Hinata's freakish temperament. But instead of exploding in fury, Hinata huffed out her displeasure and approached the two gamers on the couch.

"Kankurou-kun, are you actually suggesting I play such a hedonistic game so you may catch glimpses of pixelated panties? And you made _your sister_ play it too? Absolutely shameful," she lightly scolded with a wry smile.

Kankurou pouted. No hot angry Hinata for him, Temari was going to make sure of it. She turned to the blond girl warily eying the television screen, which at the moment had a top-heavy luchador woman gyrating brazenly. "_Temari-nee_," she addressed, catching her attention, "since you're here, you want to hang out with me instead of your perverted brother?"

"Hey!" Kankurou interrupted. Hinata giggled behind her hand.

Temari scoffed in mock indignation, "What? You're playing a game consisting entirely of barely clothed women manipulating each other's bodies into suggestive positions, and taking screenshots of them!"

"The customizations are what make the game! I can buy different outfits or even create my own wrestler!" he countered. Hinata by now had gone from timid giggling to outright chortling.

Meanwhile, Naruto curiously watched the three of them, or more accurately, the two who were bantering. Hinata was so relaxed, so _casual. _She was leaning on the back of the couch on her elbows, joking around with Kankurou, being _friendly. _It was encouraging to see that Hinata had friends other than Temari, and that she seemed to enjoy the company of other people. So why was it difficult for _him_ to be accepted? He'd known the girls just as long as Kankurou. The Suna Lieutenant may have had the extra connection of being the best friend's brother, but Naruto thought being good friends with the head developers themselves put him in a good position too.

He didn't want to admit he felt the bite of jealousy, because that was just silly. But he couldn't help but want to change how Hinata saw him, because a week and a half of nothing but barely passable courtesy and polite small talk was already driving him nuts, and seeing Hinata palling around with others just made it worse. Tsunade-baachan already warned him that this bodyguard/escort arrangement was likely to last awhile, several weeks at least. As Naruto walked over to join the group, he decided he was going to win the Hyuuga woman over, if not for friendship, then for his own sanity.

Kankurou was now showing off the levels of customization the video game allowed by changing the bust size of a newly created character while the young women laughed and rolled their eyes. Naruto settled himself on the arm of the couch. "Oi, Kankurou, I know how to unlock the schoolgirl outfit. Wanna try for it?"

The blue-haired bio-android clapped her hands. "Great! Temari-nee, come sit with me!" She grabbed the blond girl's hand and walked her to the far end of the rec room with the comfy armchairs, then unceremoniously dropped herself in one of them. The taller blond sat down gracefully next to her. They both looked over to their escorts to make sure they wouldn't be overheard, and saw that Naruto's pink-haired wrestler was beating Kankurou's cat-costumed wrestler over the head with a matching pink electric guitar.

Hinata leaned over worriedly and spoke barely above a whisper, "You don't look too happy. Are things not going well with Naruto-kun?"

Temari snorted, then straightened up in her chair if only to look a little more Hinata-like. "I suppose things could be worse, but right now, I just want to kick him in the head."

"Why? What happened?" Hinata frowned.

"Well, for one thing, he now thinks _I_ have a crush on him."

"I'm sorry? I don't understand."

Temari smirked bitterly. "It means, stop being so nice to him while you're in _my_ body."

Hinata flushed in embarrassment and stared down at her twiddling fingers, "I'm s-sorry, I'll try to work on that..."

The Sabakuno bio-android's bitter expression softened. "Oi, Hina-chan, don't get me wrong, I'm happy that you're finally somewhat comfortable around Naruto. Let's just make sure when you're using your sweet feminine wiles on him, he knows who's reeling him in."

"T-temari-nee!" Hinata squealed, before slapping her hand over her mouth and looking over at the young men on the couch. They were still distracted, and were changing out Rumble Roses for Halo while arguing who made playing the wrestling game uncomfortably homoerotic first.

"You're the one who said, 'Just keep pinning my head between your legs!'"

"Well, if you'd done it, you wouldn't have had to use the face-sitting submission hold!"

"That's it! I'm only playing this game by myself!"

"Ugh, creepy."

Temari rolled her eyes at their antics, and turned back to Hinata.

"Anyways, I wanted to talk to you for another reason."

Hinata perked up and unconsciously pulled at a blond lock of hair. "Is there something wrong?"

"Oh, no, nothing wrong," Temari shook her head, then gave Hinata a sly look. "I was just wondering about that whole thing you have going on with the Uchiha..."

The blond girl blushed, but rolled her teal eyes in an attempt to hide her embarrassment, "It's not that big a deal."

"Then show me."

"Pardon?"

The supposed Hyuuga pulled out two ear buds and a connector out of her tunic vest's pocket. "If it's not a big deal, just show me," she said as she assembled the apparatus and handed over one ear bud to the other bio-android.

Hinata reluctantly received it and placed it in one ear as Temari did the same. "Your head or mine?" Temari asked.

"Yours, I suppose," Hinata answered, then closed her eyes and connected directly to her own copy of memories in Temari's mind. Binary code flew by her eyes and she scanned the three-dimensional tunnel of digits rushing past her for what would translate to the proper date – one month ago, two months, four months...she slowed as she approached the six-month mark.

"Are you still with me?" Hinata asked.

"Right behind you," Temari answered. She walked up to stand next to Hinata, and the two of them looked at each other, taking in each other's appearance as they were meant to be – a tall, sandy blonde, confident Temari, and a shorter, winter-complexioned, sweet-faced Hinata.

"You have your hair in a French twist," the latter observed.

"I liked what you did when you first arrived with Gaara and Kankurou. _You're_ wearing something that isn't black or grey," Temari pointed out.

"I like how you dress me in colors," Hinata muttered shyly while fingering the hem of her cranberry sweater. She then turned back to the slowing rush of numbers around them. "We're almost there."

The numbers that constructed the tunnel around them finally burst outward, each digit twinkling into innumerable glowing specks until their surroundings turned into star-filled space. Temari looked around and noticed she was not so much sitting, but floating as an invisible entity just behind an armored flight suit-clad Hinata, steering her fighter ship toward a floating object just ahead. Suddenly, everything froze around her as if time had paused.

"Um, Temari-nee? Before I continue showing the memory, may I ask a favor of you?" Hinata's disembodied voice sounded from somewhere left of Temari.

"Really? You can't just show me the memory?" she half-whined.

"I could, but you seem very curious and I can't help but take advantage of having the upper hand." the shy girl giggled.

Temari contemplated for a short minute. This was Hinata. What could she possibly want that would be detrimental to Temari? "Alright. What do you need?"

"Oh, I don't really _need_ it, but...could you perhaps...make it easier for me to be c-companionable with Naruto after we switch back?"

"I'm sorry?"

Hinata's discarnate voice began to tremble slightly from nervousness. "I-I guess I'm asking if you c-could be...more amiable with him, on my behalf?"

"Oh." The Sabakuno couldn't stand Uzumaki, but she supposed if it was for Hinata's benefit, perhaps she could cast those borderline-murderous feelings aside for a little while. She had to admit, helping to get the ball rolling was a small price to pay to see the timid Hyuuga finally gather up the nerve to confess her feelings to Naruto when things got back to normal. And damn it all, she was just so _curious_ about how Hinata and Sasuke knew each other; she really wanted to see this memory.

"Okay, Hina-chan, you've got a deal."

"Really? Thank you, Temari-nee!"

Immediately, the surroundings began to progress again.

A voice crackled from the dash. "Hinata, do you have a visual yet?"

The memory Hinata responded, "Yes, Shikamaru-sensei, I do. It's a single-man fighter, Sound origin."

"A lone fighter in the middle of nowhere? Be careful. See if you can hack the ship's system and run a status check."

"Yes, Sensei." Hinata punched a few buttons on her dashboard and put on a pair of earbuds. She closed her eyes for a moment, lids fluttering lightly as information passed through her super-advanced brain. Unexpectedly, her eyes shot open and she was breathing hard with anxiety.

A young woman's voice piped up from the dash. "Hinata? Are you alright? Your vitals just spiked!"

"Yes, Sakura, I-I'm fine," she gasped out. "Shikamaru-sensei, I think you should call Tsunade-sama at once."

"Why?" the lazy voice drawled. "I think she's in a meeting with a couple of security advisors, but I suppose I can pull her out of that and bring her down if it's an emergency..."

"Yes. Do that," Hinata urged. "It's Uchiha Sasuke on that ship, and I think he's dying."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Forgive the cliffhanger! And thanks for reading and reviewing!

I've officially started my maternity leave, so I hope to get things done a little quicker. I've got...-checks calendar-... 11 days till the baby is due, so I suppose it's time to really get my nose to the grindstone, hm?


	14. How To Make A Friend

_Laugh, laugh, I thought I'd die  
It seemed so funny to me,  
Laugh, laugh, you met a guy  
Who taught you how it feels to be  
Lonely, oh so lonely_

_- "Laugh, Laugh" by The Beau Brummels_

* * *

Lounging on the couch, Naruto waited as the host of the game, some dork named NoodleNose, organized a Team Slayer game on Halo. He turned around to see what the girls were doing, and found them sitting silently side by side in the cushy armchairs, eyes closed and connected at the ears by a cord. He turned back and nudged Kankurou, then nodded toward Hinata and Temari.

"What're they doing?"

"I don't know. Info exchange?"

Naruto shrugged and turned back toward the television just as NoodleNose confirmed the map choice and started up the game. "What map are we playing?"

"Valhalla."

"Heh, I'll own all their asses."

Kankurou snorted at how unnecessary Naruto's declaration was. They were, after all, playing on Naruto's gamertag, DemonPwnage, and as embarrassing as it was to play under such a childish name, the two of them were actually wreaking some havoc against NoodleNose and his cohorts.

Naruto, while sniping someone in NoodleNose's party straight in the head, started the conversation innocently enough, but Kankurou knew better. This wasn't his first time playing Halo with a frustrated, kill-crazy Uzumaki.

"Hey, Kankurou."

"Yeah?" Melee to the back of the enemy's head.

"What's up with Hinata?" Naruto asked as he reloaded his shotgun.

"Hinata? Why?"

"I don't think she likes me much." He settled his Spartan into a crouch behind a rock, shotgun at the ready and eye on the red dot approaching his position on his radar.

The older Lieutenant stifled his laugh. _If only he knew._ "What makes you think I know her any better than you?"

Naruto's Spartan popped out from behind the rock and shot a NoodleNose party member in the chest at close range as they rounded the rock Naruto was hiding behind.

"You camping bitch!" a voice shrieked in the two officers' headsets.

Naruto yelled right back, "It's a legitimate strategy!" Without missing a beat, he continued the conversation with Kankurou while stocking up his grenades. "I don't know. I thought maybe Temari talked about it with you or something."

"Temari tells me she's an introvert," Kankurou replied as he whacked an enemy Spartan with the butt of his pistol. "And maybe with some people she gets a little more closed off." He didn't want to give too much away.

Naruto was now using the rocket launcher with reckless abandon. "It's been well over a week, and she won't open up to me. Did I do something wrong?"

Kankurou was sure if Naruto looked over he'd see how red his face was from holding in his laughter. Luckily, the younger of the two was too busy slaughtering the NoodleNose party. "I'm sure you just need to give her some time." Perhaps some reasonable-sounding bullshit. "Try to see it from her side. She's recovering from an attack and is now in protective custody with someone she isn't particularly close to, following her around 24/7."

Naruto's frustration-induced focus on his gamer killing spree eased up a bit. "I guess I just never thought of it that way."

"What brought this up anyway?"

The blond shrugged and replied, "I'm trying to make things easier by being friends, but she keeps distancing herself."

Kankurou wondered if this "distancing" was Temari's way of keeping her hands from wrapping around the guy's throat. Frankly, he was surprised she had lasted this long, even if she was maintaining her temper for Hinata's sake. Suddenly, he felt somewhat bitter. Though Naruto was a long-time friend and comrade, the fact that Hinata was infatuated with _him_ of all people really irked him.

And it hit him. It was devious. It was wrong. It was his wonderful, loving, trusting sister. But he was going to do it anyway.

"Hey, Naruto, maybe I can help you out."

"Yeah?"

"How good are you at Street Fighter 2?"

"I've taken up the Top Ten on the machine in another rec room, so I would say I could take on anyone."

Kankurou thought this was almost too easy. "Challenge her. Then start talking to her while you play. I guarantee she'll start to open up."

Naruto briefly looked up from the game at the Subakuno in curiosity. "Really? I never would have thought she was a gamer."

With a sly smirk, Kankurou affirmed, "Oh, you have no idea."

At that moment, the NoodleNose party logged out, abruptly ending the Team Slayer game.

"Aw! I know we were kicking their asses, but that's no reason to run!" Kankurou groaned.

"Nah, they probably received orders from a superior. It's the bad part about playing on a military installation: good games get dropped when you gotta answer to the brass."

---

"Sorry, Konohamaru, I just got a text communication from Lieutenant Inuzuka," a lanky bespectacled young man sighed as he tossed his game controller aside. "You and Moegi can keep playing on my gamertag though."

"Ah, nope. I got a message from him, too. I wonder if he messaged the whole team" a redhead with particularly rosy cheeks responded. She stood up and straightened out her uniform. "You going to keep playing, Konohamaru?"

The Chuunin Lieutenant turned off the game console as he replied, "Naw, those asshats were wiping the floor with us."

"Okay, we'll call you later then."

"Yeah. See you later, Udon, Moegi."

---

"Alright, Hinata, keep your distance for now. Tsunade's on her way down, then we'll decide the next course of action," Shikamaru ordered over the com. Temari watched as the memory Hinata drummed her fingers on her dash and frowned.

"Sensei, I don't think Uchiha will last that long."

"Are you suggesting you just head in on your own? We can't afford to lose you."

"We can't afford to lose the apprentice of our most powerful enemy while he's alone and weak!" Hinata uncharacteristically retorted.

There was com silence for several seconds before Shikamaru asked, "Do you have concrete evidence, data, _anything_ to confirm that it is absolutely safe to approach his ship without backup or a even a plan?"

Hinata stared hard at the Sound fighter floating aimlessly in space. "No."

"What makes you think it's okay, then?"

"No reason," the Hyuuga answered softly. "I-I guess I just have a feeling is all."

The faint sound of paper being shuffled or pages being turned could be heard faintly in the background of the communicator. Temari knew Shikamaru was on the _Kasai Arashi_ looking up notes on a bio-android's instincts and gut feelings. And she knew he had notes on the subject because she'd caused him to take those notes years earlier when she was a know-it-all self-righteous teenager.

"_How do you even know I'm not bluffing? I could be holding a royal flush for all you know!"_

"_I just KNOW! Now fold already!"_

Judging by Hinata's tendency for logic and level-headedness, what Temari was seeing in this memory was the quiet girl's first exhibition of something so humanly basic as a gut feeling.

Without warning, the memory Hinata turned on her thrusters and headed straight for the Sound fighter. Temari looked over he girl's shoulder at the screen scrolling information gathered from the decrepit ship – the vehicle had just run out of power and a severely injured, cryo-sleeping Uchiha had only minutes to live. Improper thawing in his critical condition was assured death, and it seemed Hinata was going to do everything within her power to prevent it.

"You're defying orders, Hinata." Shikamaru warned.

"I am aware of that, Sensei." She swallowed hard. Temari could see how torn she was – disobey orders, or save a life?

"I can't shield you from any punishment that will come your way, _if_ you make it back."

"Yes, Sensei."

Radio silence followed as Hinata maneuvered her ship to connect a power line to the enemy fighter.

"Your father is going to kill me. I'm trusting you on this."

The tension in the Hyuuga girl's shoulders disappeared and she let out a relieved giggle, "Thank you, Sensei." She diverted some of her ship's power to Uchiha's ship to maintain his cryo-sleep and life support, secured the fighter with her tow cable, and made her way back to the Hokage's ship.

The scene imploded back to a running tunnel of binary code and Temari was once again visible to herself, with the real Hinata standing beside her. "That's it?"

The shorter girl shook her head, "No, but I didn't think you'd be interested in seeing the trip back or Tsunade-sama yelling."

"So it wasn't a trap?" Temari asked incredulously. After years of trying to apprehend the Konoha traitor, it seemed anticlimactic to capture him in this pathetic state.

"Nope. He was trying to escape Orochimaru. Left for dead in the middle of space, but he made a final attempt at saving his own life by powering down everything but his life support and cryo-sleep conditions."

"But by the time you got there, he was just running out of power.... How long was he out in dead space like that?"

Hinata smiled sadly, "A little over two years." Temari understood what Hinata was feeling. Two years worth of battles, lost soldiers, broken families could have been prevented if only they had found Sasuke sooner. Perhaps it was their status as beings of human creation, but seeing human death had a profoundly different impact on the two girls. Watching humans destroy each other so utterly was a whole new level of depressing hypocrisy when one was given something so precious as life by these same humans.

The blond bio-android felt the need to lighten the mood. "So, are you going straight to the juicy parts? Or does it just go downhill from here?" she asked brightly.

Hinata appreciated the change of subject, "I-I don't know if it's really _juicy_, per se..."

The flowing digits around them exploded into another scene, this time of a hospital room. Temari was once again an invisible entity sitting somewhere above memory Hinata, who was currently sitting in a chair in the corner farthest from the recovery bed, reading, or seeming to read, a book. On the other side of the room, a heavily bandaged and beaten-looking Uchiha Sasuke was laying in an inclined position on the bed warily eying his nurse while Sakura blustered anxiously through her nursing duties. When her shaking hand jabbed the IV needle a little too hard and a little too left of the vein, Sasuke grunted through his clenched teeth and snatched the needle away from her.

"Jesus, Sakura, Sound intelligence had you marked as the apprentice of the greatest medical officer in Konoha and an enemy worth noting as a significant future threat, and you can't even get a fucking needle in my vein properly," he sneered as he inserted the needle into his own arm.

"I haven't seen you in nearly ten years, and you expect things to be normal?" Sakura responded, while failing miserably to hide the tremble in her voice.

"I don't think my veins rearranged themselves in the last decade." Uchiha was such a jackass.

It occurred to Temari that despite the memory Hinata leisurely sitting in her chair and turning the pages of her book quietly, she wasn't actually reading. If she were, they wouldn't be able to listen in on the low-volume conversation, and certainly not so clearly from across the room. Memory Hinata had increased the reception amplitude of her eardrums and was actively eavesdropping. "Oi, Hina-chan."

"Yes?" Hinata's disembodied voice floated from somewhere next to Temari.

"You were eavesdropping,"

She could almost _hear_ Hinata's blush, "I-I was ordered to by Tsu-tsunade-sama."

"Sure, sure," Temari continued to tease. But she knew it was true. Tsunade was smart to assign Hinata guard duty over Sasuke. Her memories were flawless as long as she kept all senses open to everything, and they were easily accessible to view. The Hokage wanted Uchiha to reveal information, and this was the most accurate way of retrieving it. Not to mention the fact that Hinata was button-cute and so easy to open up to.

"Don't be a smartass, Sasuke," Sakura ground out. Temari turned her attention back to the conversation and noted that Sasuke, though outwardly motionless, was amused. One of his loyal fangirls calling him names? Unheard of.

"You've grown up."

"And thank goodness too, or else I never would have realized you were always an asshole," Sakura said bitterly as she injected morphine into the IV drip. Temari wondered if it was for the pain or to help loosen the prisoner's tongue.

"Naruto had been trying to tell you that for years," Sasuke responded lightly.

"He still says so, and yet he was the only one so dedicated to getting you back."

"I thought that would've been you, maybe Ino."

"Probably, but for the wrong reasons. We both moved on ages ago," the pink-haired medic sighed.

Sasuke raised an inquiring brow at that. "Moved on...to Naruto, perhaps?"

For the first time in the conversation, Sakura looked Sasuke in the eye. "Not me. But Ino did."

The Uchiha didn't bother hiding his surprise. "What? _Naruto_ and _Ino_? He was so hung up on you!"

"Yeah, but the baggage involving you, me, and him was too much, and he was just too depressed," Sakura explained. "He needed something totally different for a little while, and conveniently, so did Ino."

"You set them up?"

She nodded. "Yes. They had a good time while it lasted, really helped each other, I think. They're still good friends."

The Uchiha looked away, brow relaxed for the first time Temari had ever seen. Sakura noticed.

"And yes, Naruto was happy. I know that's all you were concerned about. I know you didn't hate me so much as you wanted me to give Naruto a try so he could know a little happiness."

Sasuke glared at her from the corner of his eye. "Hn."

"Shocking, isn't it? I know you better than you think."

"Only because you used to be an obsessed twit."

She cuffed him a little harder than necessary across the back of his bandaged head. "Don't bite the hand that heals you." Sakura briefly glanced at Hinata before flashing green foreboding eyes at Sasuke. "And _definitely_ don't bite the hand that feeds you. I'll know," she finished. Sakura turned back to Hinata, "Sorry I took so long, Hyuuga-san, I'll bring lunch in for the two of you now."

Hinata appropriately acted like she was just jolted from her ever-so-engrossing book. "Thank you, Medic Haruno." She pulled her chair up next to the bed and set her book on the side table as Sakura left the room.

Sasuke studied Hinata and Hinata pretended not to notice. "They have a Hyuuga guarding me?"

"Yes, Uchiha-san," the dark-haired girl answered.

"You look very familiar."

"We've never met before, Uchiha-san." Temari snickered to herself. As sweet as Hinata was, she could tell when she was just humoring someone.

Sasuke continued to stare at her. "I'm the last of the Uchiha, and nobility at that. I'm quite familiar with my fellow nobles, especially those of Konoha. I don't recognize you specifically, but I've seen you before."

Hinata just blinked at him.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "What's your name?"

"Hyuuga."

"Obviously. What's your given name?"

"It's no concern of yours, I'm merely here to guard and feed you."

"You speak like a Branch member, but your clothing suggests you're of the Head family. Why would they assign a high-ranking Hyuuga to guard and feed a convalescing traitor?"

The door burst open and Sakura wheeled in two trays laden with food. "Lunch is served! Oh, and Sasuke, yours was made specially by someone you may remember."

He looked at his tray of unappetizing and bland-looking morsels, the brightest thing being a block of hideously green gelatin. "Apparently, not by a member of my fanclub."

Sakura smirked, "Oh, certainly not. But she says, and I quote, 'I know what's good for him, whether he likes it or not.'" She brushed out of the room laughing before Sasuke could question her, which it looked like he would have done judging by his expression.

"I thought she was dead," he whispered to himself. He studied his food again. "That wretched woman," he said with a smirk.

Hinata cleared her throat, "Let me know when you want to eat."

The Uchiha lifted his hands in front of him. They looked like giant, gauzy, white drumsticks. "Now, I suppose."

Hinata stirred his chicken broth around before lifting a spoonful to his mouth. He was staring at her with such intensity she had to drop her gaze as he ate the soup.

"I still don't know your name."

"I still haven't told you." Her flushing cheeks belied her defiant tone.

"It's hardly fair that I'm being fed by a stranger. You know exactly who I am. How can I trust you?"

The Hyuuga girl raised a midnight blue brow, "That's rich, coming from the Konoha traitor." She served him another spoonful of broth.

He swallowed. "And yet you still feed me. This food could be poisoned, and I'm willingly putting my life on the line by accepting it."

"Sakura told you who made the food. That woman may curse your existence left and right, but she'd never kill you."

Sasuke tilted his head curiously, "You know Tayuya?"

"Yes," Hinata nodded. "She's a lovely cook, and not so much compassionate as she is good-intentioned."

"That's even more reason to tell me who you are. You know me _and_ you seem to be friends with my former Sound subordinate."

The girl remained silent and continued to feed Sasuke his soup.

"You look like a member of the Head family. Hiashi had one daughter, but the math doesn't add up. You're far too old to be Hanabi. The only other woman in the Head family died not too long after I left Konoha."

Hinata's cheeks were slowing growing more pink, but she didn't say a word and kept her steady rhythm of feeding the Uchiha.

"There were rumors circulating Sound intelligence that Sarutobi Asuma had created artificial life, but I wasn't expecting something so advanced, Hyuuga."

At that, the young woman's eyes snapped up, wide as saucers.

"And you look identical to Hyuuga Haruna. I suppose it's her DNA they used to create you?"

She looked away but resumed feeding Sasuke. "Yes."

"There's no reason why I can't know your name, now that I've essentially figured out your entire history."

"It's Hinata," she answered quietly. She moved on to breaking off pieces of bread to feed the young man.

After a few minutes, Sasuke breached the silence, "I didn't expect Konoha would treat enemies and traitors more humanely than Sound treats their highest-ranking soldiers."

Hinata let slip a small smile, "Tayuya said the same thing."

"Hn. You're a non-human and they treat you even more humanely than they treat _me_."

She was about to nod, then hesitated. "I suppose." She went back to feeding Sasuke the chicken broth, and he studied her.

"I take it that that isn't always the case?" He motioned to young woman to dip some bread in the soup to eat, and she obeyed.

"I-I wouldn't say they're unkind. Maybe a little more...cautious. Yet they still trust me and my abilities. More specifically, my android abilities."

"But your human side?"

Hinata frowned. Temari watched the myriad of emotions playing in the girl's eyes, and recognized them all. They were trusted for their abilities, what they could offer as super-intelligent androids. But their humanity was always, if silently, in question. Shikamaru-sensei and most everyone else associated with the bio-android project never seemed prepared to handle the girls' moments of human nature – emotions, empathy, and, as Temari had witnessed earlier, instinct. Such humanness in their own creations would leave the scientists flailing. As children, Hinata and Temari would hear whispers floating, but pretended not to hear – we know how smart they are, but what are they truly capable of? Can they love? Hate?

_Betray?_

The memory Hinata never answered, but it was enough for Sasuke. "You should ask yourself if it's you they don't trust, or humanity in general."

The girl nodded absently and held a spoon of broth up to the man's mouth, but he turned his head away.

"And you should give me the tomatoes in your sandwich."

Hinata looked up in wonder, then burst out in whole-hearted laughter, nearly to tears.

As Temari watched Sasuke smilingly observe Hinata, she decided she couldn't bring herself to hate a person who took genuine pleasure in making her Hina-chan laugh.

**Author's Note:**

To everyone still reading this story, thank you for sticking with it!

Now that my baby girl has a semi-predictable schedule, updates will be a bit easier to work on. Yeah, sorry for that three-month gap!


	15. The Next Step

_My love is strong, you see  
I know you'll never get tired of me  
Oh, baby  
And I'm gonna use every trick in the book  
I'll try my best to get you hooked  
Hey, baby_

_-"I'm Gonna Make You Love Me" The Supremes and The Temptations_

_

* * *

  
_

"HINATA!" Naruto yelled from down the hall while jogging toward his subject of exclamation.

If one would have asked Temari a month ago if Naruto would still be alive today, she would have surely laughed at the absurdity of his survival while "guarding" her. Yet here she was, managing to tolerate his presence. And it wasn't _all_ bad, really, but she would never admit that, even in the deepest, darkest recesses that refused to acknowledge contentment. Naruto sidled next to her and they flung themselves on the couch in front of the waiting video game.

"So are they in?" she realized she asked too eagerly for her own liking. She pretended to be busy with her controller.

"Yeah, they'll be on any second now --"

At that moment, they heard the tell-tale chime of their friends logging into the Gears of War 2 lobby, and immediately, they could hear 10plus10is42's deceptively innocent-sounding voice chanting, "Chainsaw! Chainsaw! Chainsaw!" and JollyGreenNonGiant's long-winded speech about sportsmanship and fair play.

Naruto rolled his eyes and complained, "I swear, if they weren't so good at this game, I'd put 'em on ignore."

Temari couldn't help but giggle while Naruto picked out the game type.

"Is Wingman okay with you?" he asked. Temari contemplated the two-person team competition and pursed her lips apprehensively.

"Against Lee and Tenten? They're practically _legends_ at Gears 2 Wingman."

Naruto's eyes widened as he exclaimed, "How do you know that? I thought you said you weren't a gamer!"

_Shit!_ She was getting lazy watching herself. And she hated that this wasn't the first time. Thank goodness Naruto never questioned her, either out of respect or just plain stupidity.

"Well, you know how it is...with Tenten and Lee being friends with my cousin..."

"Oh!" the Lieutenant playfully knocked himself on the forehead with his controller, "Yeah, of course!"

As the round began, Temari's inner competitive side began to dread that they picked the Wingman game, which required excellent communication and cooperative skills in a two-man team. Sure, she was fantastic when she played with Kankuro. But playing in tandem with someone she wasn't all that familiar with, never mind her annoyance with him, put them at a great disadvantage. She reminded herself that this was for _Hinata_, grit her teeth, and took a deep breath. Thank goodness she wasn't staking her _own_ gaming reputation on this.

Naruto and Temari's grotesque Locust characters materialized into the post-apocalypse industrial setting of the map, and the young man bounced in his seat.

"Ooh, Locust! I like playing as the Locust!"

Temari's Locust sped to a pillar and ducked for cover as Tenten and Lee's humans lobbed a grenade towards her. "Why's that?"

Naruto half-emptied his clip at Lee. "Ah, you'd think it's dumb."

"You wish you were a hideous, bald, bug-eyed leprous-looking soldier living in a web of underground caves?"

"Uh, no."

"Then it can't possibly be that dumb. Tenten's flanking left!"

Naruto moved up a stairway to get a good sniper shot at the enemy. "I've got her. No, I like the Locust because they're a bit easier to understand."

Temari set explosives on a wall to slow down Lee's approach. "I've gotta hear this."

"I like how they might have been human at one time, maybe even created _by_ humans. And now they're out to destroy all humans. Kind of like humans' karmic punishment by their own creation. Shit, they picked up the mortar cannon."

Temari switched to her chain gun. "You mean the irony of being destroyed by your own creation?"

"Exactly. I mean, _you_ should understand it quite well with your unique perspective." Naruto's character was knocked back by a massive explosion. "Hey, can I get a res?"

The young woman veered back to a debris pile where Naruto's mostly-dead character was crawling and resurrected him. "It was never an issue until they made it an issue." She tried to chainsaw Lee, but he dove out of reach. "Temari and I were seen as human until we started displaying our android capabilities."

Naruto's character was gored by Tenten's chainsaw, so he put his controller down and turned toward the midnight-haired girl. "And now?"

"Now, people get scared when we show too much of our human qualities." She tossed her game controller aside after Lee sniped her and waited for the scores to appear. "First they make us in their image, with unnatural improvements, and then they get scared when we act too much like them. What does that say about their own faith in humanity?"

Naruto ruffled his own hair as he answered, "I suppose it doesn't reflect too well on us as a species. But then again, we're _only_ human." He goofily threw an arm around Temari's petite shoulders. "And that's why they made an awesome girl like you!"

Cheesy as the line was, Temari couldn't help but smile. When she turned to change the subject to the scores being displayed, she was surprised by how well they did. "Wow, we actually were a match for the battle experts."

Naruto, who still had his arm around Temari, let go of her and leaned forward to read the screen. Though she welcomed regaining her personal space, she noted that the personal space felt cold in comparison.

Naruto bounced yet again in his seat and pointed at the screen. "Check it out! If we did this well while having a non-related quasi-deep conversation, can you imagine how good we'd be together if we actually paid attention to what we were doing?"

"Yes, we would have been great," Temari forced a grin. "...together."

Their conversation was interrupted by a chiming bleep, and Temari noticed Tenten sent them a message. She clicked on the electronic missive and read aloud, "'Sorry, can't play another round—prepping for this afternoon's arrival at station dock.' Oh, we're docking at the space station today?"

The blond lieutenant suddenly turned back toward Temari, brow furrowed in thought.

"Hey, Hinata?"

"Mm?"

"Gaming with you is fun and all, but," his eyes started darting to anywhere that wasn't Temari, "would you consider, uh, partaking in other activities with me?"

The girl's response was a confused blink.

"Well, we started with video games, so now we can take the next step. Do things that aren't video game related, like watch a movie, eat at places that aren't the mess hall, stuff like that..." Naruto was in danger of babbling, so Temari answered quickly.

"Sure."

The Jounin officer beamed, "Great! I'll take you somewhere tonight! Is six o'clock okay?"

"Hmm, well my schedule has been busy lately, being guarded by you, being guarded by you, oh, and being guarded by you, but I think I can fit you in," Temari answered sweetly with a not-as-sweet eyeroll.

"Oh, right."

As they headed to the mess hall for lunch, as Naruto excitedly listed all the things they could do once they docked at the military outpost, Temari's trivial musings came to a screeching halt.

Dinner? Movie? _Next step?_ Why was this starting to sound like a date? And worse yet, why wasn't she bothered by it?

---

"So Hinata, another week, another session. How are you doing?"

Hinata, reclining on a chaise lounge in Dr. Ino Yamanaka's office, self-consciously plucked at some non-existent lint on her pants. "Very well, thank you," she obliged with a smile.

"Anything you want to bring up this week? Or shall we continue with where we left off last time?" Ino asked kindly. It was the fifth session since the bio-androids returned from battle with their personality-based user interfaces switched. Frankly, she expected the girls to express more frustration at their inconvenient situation, but after the first two weeks, their subjects of interest veered toward personal relationships. And because Ino had these weekly sessions with the girls, it was like reading one of her PMS novels, seeing more of the story than any of the people involved.

Last week, Hinata was quite excited by recent developments between Naruto and Temari, or more accurately, Naruto and _her_ body with Temari in it. Temari, despite her dislike for the blond Lieutenant, promised to get Hinata in well with him before they switched back, giving the cripplingly shy bio-android a less stressful chance at confessing her feelings later. And Ino, being close friends with Naruto, knew he was doing his damnedest to get "Hinata" to accept him. But this week, Hinata seemed quieter than usual when she walked in for her appointment.

"I'd like to continue from where we left off, please," she answered in a small voice.

The young doctor nodded, "Alright. I believe we ended the last meeting discussing the progress of initiating a friendship with Naruto. How is that going?"

"Well...Temari is doing very well getting Naruto to like, um, me..." Hinata replied as she studied her toes.

Ino looked up from her notepad to observe her patient, who looked like she was having a staring contest with her own feet. "Mm-hmm, and you were pretty excited about it last week. You seem a bit down now, Hinata."

The sandy blond jerked from her toe-observing stupor. "Oh, no! It's not that! I'm still very happy about how things are progressing."

"Really?"

"Yes. Just the other day, Kankuro and I met with Temari and Naruto, and the two were in the middle of competing in Pac-Man."

"Sounds like fun."

"I suppose, if Temari wasn't being so competitive it might have seemed more enjoyable. But yes, it looked fun, I guess." Hinata looked as if it was anything _but_ fun.

Ino prodded, "There's more to this than you're willing to tell me, isn't there?"

The blonde Hyuuga sighed, "I...well, it's not a big concern."

"Feelings are always a cause for concern," Dr. Yamanaka encouraged, "especially for you. It's still a learning experience. All these emotions are probably confusing, and you don't have the benefit of having years to learn how to handle them and sort them out like the average human. This is why I'm here for you." She placed a comforting hand on Hinata's shoulder. "And don't forget, I'm your friend, too."

The young woman suddenly sat up in the chaise lounge, positioned herself cross-legged, and held the head cushion to her chest. Ino resisted the urge to chuckle at this very cute picture of insecurity and awkwardness.

"I'm just worried he won't like me when Temari and I switch back!" she exclaimed before smushing her face into the cushion.

This time, Ino did laugh. "What makes you say that?"

"Kmm ueggh mbngh mrr frrn frr ndsss?"

"I'm sorry?"

Hinata lifted her face from the pillow, "Can you be my friend for this? Stop being a doctor for now?"

That took Ino by surprise, "Oh, um, sure." She stood from her leather office chair, unbuttoned a few buttons on her uniform shirt, and kicked off her shoes before taking a seat in front of Hinata and mirroring her cross-legged position. She leaned her elbows on her knees, chin in her hands, and asked wryly, "So, what couldn't you tell the scary doctor?"

The question had its intended effect and made Hinata laugh a little before sobering. "Well, you know how Temari is being nice to Naruto for me."

"...right."

"And Naruto has been inviting me, er, Temari – oh, you know what I mean! -- inviting her to join him in activities now."

"...I'm still with you."

"Um, I'm grateful that Temari's going through this, but it just seems that these activities aren't things I'd normally take part in."

Ino sat back and nodded in understanding, "So you're concerned that he doesn't have much in common with you?"

Hinata dropped her chin to the cushion she was still hugging for dear life. "I'm afraid when we switch back and continue the friendship, he'll stop liking me. I don't play video games like he does with Temari."

"Okay," Ino tapped a thoughtful finger on her chin, "not that I'm endorsing the idea, but would you do the things he enjoyed even though you're not into it?"

"Well, yes, if it made him happy. I can play and win any video game he would want me to play."

"Of course you can. But you wouldn't enjoy it."

"I'd enjoy Naruto's happiness."

Ino sighed, "And here we come to the first lesson in successful relationships: it's a two-way street."

When Hinata's teal eyes reflected nothing but confusion, Ino realized this poor girl had absolutely no experience with human relationships outside the familial. She inwardly cursed Hiashi's overprotectiveness.

"Okay, what I mean is, this connection you hope to have with Naruto, there's a give-and-take involved. Obviously you're willing to give him anything and everything, but what will you gain from it?"

"...I would be with him?" Hinata asked hopefully.

"Mm, you have much to learn, Grasshopper," Ino responded with a shake of her head. "You make it sound like a job, providing him all he wants and expecting nothing in return. You should expect companionship, support, security. At this point right now, you're terrified of him."

"That's what Temari's helping me with!" the other young woman insisted.

"Hinata, she's not helping you, she's doing it _for_ you. The bridge is being built _without_ you. Have you considered how much harder it will be to just jump in where Temari left off?"

The Hyuuga smiled, assured of herself again, "It won't progress that far with Temari. She can't stand him."

Ino was still skeptical that this was healthy social development for Hinata, and she didn't like the idea of Naruto being oblivious to it all. But for now, she would keep her mouth shut, considering no one was getting hurt. Yet. Anyways, there were other things to discuss, other human relationships Hinata had to learn from.

"Well, let's move on then," Ino shifted her position and looked quite serious suddenly. "You may not want to talk about it, but what's going on with Shikamaru?"

Hinata's smile disappeared instantly. It wasn't something she wanted to discuss, and she was hoping no one had noticed. For the past five weeks, the only time they spoke to each other was in the presence of others, and even then, it was strictly professional. In fact, they hadn't really spoken the last six months before this, but it was easier to deal with then since she was planetside with her family during that time.

"It's okay, I guess..."

The doctor gave an unprofessional eye-roll. "Hinata, I'm not dumb. You may not be actively avoiding each other, but you're barely acknowledging each other. Spill."

Hinata began playing with the end of one of her blond pigtails and carefully avoided Ino's eyes. "He just seems so busy with his new Captain promotion and I don't want to bother him..."

"He's active in your recovery and you see him at least twice a week."

"...and we haven't talked in over six months, maybe we grew apart..."

"You're still close to Temari after five years of nearly no contact."

"...and I've been busy with family duties, what with Hanabi preparing to lead the clan..."

"Neji has his hands more than full dealing with the Hyuugas, and he _still_ manages to be an active high-ranking officer."

Hinata glared half-heartedly at her friend, and whatever heat could have been behind her glare was snuffed out by her childish pout. "It's not an issue."

Ino pushed up off her elbows and sat straight up to look down her nose at Hinata, which was considerably harder to do with the girl in Temari's taller body . "Well then as your doctor, I have no choice but to leave the topic alone at your request."

The blond bio-android visibly relaxed and sighed in relief. But Ino wasn't done.

"However, as your friend, I'm going to bug the shit out of you until you spill," she purred with a mischievous smirk.

Hinata, retreating back into her couch cushion, soon learned that even though some of Ino's most admirable qualities were her determination and perseverance, it wasn't all that wonderful when on the receiving end.

---

Situated on a solid iron rock in the middle of a cosmic gas cloud, a modified cargo ship hid in plain view of whatever might be looking. _Not that anyone would be looking out here_, a man thought as he turned away from the window's panoramic view of empty blackness. It was dead space, the nearest and brightest of stars barely visible to the naked eye a testament to their isolation. He was told it was the safest location for his master, but sometimes he thought this particular slice of nothing was picked because it was the only place less alive than his master.

Silky straight, silver-white hair framed an almost equally pale face, which looked upon two glowing computer monitors scrolling code almost too fast to see. Though he'd thoroughly read, re-read, and translated the numbers before him, he did so again to pass the brief time before his master arrived.

The door behind him hissed open, and two more men entered the room – one a silver-haired young man with large round glasses, the other a decrepit and twisted thing hiding behind a curtain of black hair being pushed in a wheelchair.

"Kimimaro, you have news to share?" a raspy voice queried.

The young man stood up from his computer and bowed low. "Yes, master. Regarding the codes gleaned from Kabuto's battle with the bio-androids."

"And what have you found?" the haggard man asked, though his tone sounded like he knew the answer already.

Kimimaro rose from his bow, "It's as you have said. Though the code itself is unreadable, the pattern they form implies that the two bio-androids have switched user interfaces."

Black hair parted to reveal a yellow eye curved in amusement. "Excellent, excellent. Your virus was effected according to plan. Kabuto, do we know anything about their whereabouts?"

From behind him, the silver-haired man answered, "Yes, we have information that they are in Konoha custody, specifically in the prototype ship, the _Keima_."

"Mm, they _would_ put them under Nara's watch," the master sneered.

"Master?"

"No, pay it no mind, Kabuto. We still go forward as planned." the older man turned his attention back to the computer expert. "Kimimaro, you've done well. After this is all over, I will consider you free from your debt."

The young man's excitement was reflected in his eyes, but he for the most part remained stoic. "Yes, master, I thank you."

"Kabuto, we leave."

With that, Kabuto turned the wheelchair around and slowly pushed his master out of the room.

"Oh, and Kabuto, the air has been feeling a bit thin lately. See to it that we filter in some more oxygen from our surrounding cloud."

"Of course, Orochimaru-sama."

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Thanks for reading and reviewing! And being very patient! XD

Oh ho ho! We have the villain at last!

I know the mention of Shikamaru and Hinata is sudden, but that's completely my fault and poor writing on my part. I have an explanatory journal entry about it on my DeviantArt page that I'll gladly link to you if the ShikaHina is jarring to you. Either way, you'll see what happened to them in the next chapter.


	16. What Makes You Human

"Oi, are we late?" Tenten announced her arrival with Lee in tow.

Kiba turned from his position at the head of the conference table. "No, have a seat. The Hokage is still trying to make sense of her communications software."

On the far wall, a projector had two images side by side, one blank dark square, and the other a picture of the Kazekage. At least, Tenten thought it was a picture, until the Kazekage blinked.

"Greetings, Kazekage-sama! And how fare your spirits this fine afternoon?" Lee pronounced with enough life and grandeur for both Gaara and himself, as usual.

The Kazekage gave a slight nod, "Good. And you?"

"Quite splendidly! I managed to break my mentor's old sit-up record of 3,194! I did 3,200!"

Gaara's lips turned ever so slightly upward, jade eyes brightened the slightest bit, "That's good to hear, Lee. I'm sure Gai is quite proud of you."

The small talk was cut short by the sound of static and the blank black square on the wall lighting up to show the Hokage's face taking up the entire screen, squinting at everyone in the room.

"Blast this stupid monitor...can't see a damned thing..."

"Then put on your glasses!" the distinctly annoyed voice of Shizune could be heard from a distance off-screen from Tsunade.

"Shut it! Girls my age don't need glasses!"

Kiba turned his face away slightly and muttered, "'Girls' your age are senile."

Tsunade rounded on the group sitting at the conference table, "What was that, Inuzuka?!"

"I said, 'It's been awhile', you know, since we last spoke," Lieutenant Inuzuka smoothly replied. Thankfully, girls her age were deaf, too.

"Oh," the blonde Hokage composed herself. "Yes, well, let's start this meeting already. I take it this is your chosen team, Inuzuka?"

Kiba proudly nodded his affirmation, "Yes, ma'am. Team, introduce yourselves."

To Lieutenant Inuzuka's right, a large young man with wild copper hair beamed and waved at the two images projected on the wall.

"Akimichi Chouji, Tokubetsu Jounin in Special Weapons and Tactics, at your service!"

Gaara's blank expression twitched into something not as blank. "Congratulations on the promotion, Akimichi. It's well-deserved."

"Thanks, Kazekage-sama," the Jounin officer responded while pulling out a bag of chips from seemingly nowhere. The girl sitting to his right promptly smacked his hand in admonishment before introducing herself.

"Akabara Moegi, Chuunin Lieutenant. It's a pleasure to meet you, Kazekage-sama," she greeted. She then looked to her right and found her friend typing text messages into his communicator that he tried to keep hidden in his lap. A sharp nudge brought him back to the meeting.

"O-oh, excuse me. Megane Udon, Chuunin Lieutenant, Engineering Corps."

Across from Udon, Lee could barely contain himself for his chance to introduce himself, never mind that he had already greeted and made small talk with Gaara mere minutes ago.

"I am Rock Lee, Jounin Lieutenant, newly promoted Master of Hand-to-Hand Combat!"

Gaara matched Lee's enthusiasm with his own brand of excitement, an intrigued, "Ah," paired with an approving nod. Lieutenant Lee was beside himself with pride.

Finally, Tenten took her turn with a small wave and sideways smile, "Maruike Tenten, Jounin Lieutenant, Master of Melee Weaponry."

Tsunade studied the group. Kiba must have had something up his sleeve because his recon team made absolutely no sense to her. Only Lee and Tenten had any experience in Spec Ops, and it wasn't nearly to Kiba's level. Chouji specialized in developing new weapons and using them, not even a smidgen of reconnaissance experience. And the two kids? One was a computer nerd working under Shino, the other some rosy-cheeked girl-child! The Hokage, though somewhat distressed by this motley assembly, held her tongue and moved on with the meeting.

"Alright. As I understand it, the _Keima _will be docking at the Allied Space Station shortly, at which time Lieutenant Inuzuka's plan will be underway. May we review the details now, Inuzuka?"

"Certainly." He flipped open a folder he had in front of him on the table. "As you already know, Tenten and Lee are scheduled to disembark the _Keima_ to lead the training of new recruits at the Station. I plan to use their high-level positions to our advantage. With their freedoms, they have more access to our allies who may have the information we're looking for."

"So Tenten and Lee will be managing the actual reconnaissance work?"

"Correct. Chouji and Udon are here to filter the useful information from the extraneous as it pertains to the bio-androids, their technology, abilities, and potential danger of losing them."

Tsunade hummed her understanding, then asked, "And Moegi?"

Kiba smirked. "She's green. Has no direction but a lot of potential, so I picked her up sometime ago while I was talking to Udon. If anything, a new face will throw off anyone on our tail."

The Hokage seemed satisfied with this and merely shrugged in resignation. Gaara blinked, which was enough for everyone, so Tsunade turned to the person who was likely most informed about the Hyuuga and Sabakuno Ladies.

"Lieutenant Megane, how is your group progressing with the incomplete codes?"

Udon pushed his round glasses up the bridge of his nose. "There has been very little progress. Without some sort of hint to lead us in the right direction, filling in the holes in the overlapped code has been nearly impossible."

"How far along are we?"

"Not even 5%. We are constantly inputting different binary combinations and testing how they affect the girls' UIs."

"Have we garnered any relevant information from the girls' ships?"

The Kazekage leaned on his elbows with his hands folded under his chin. "I have my engineers doing a thorough check of all navigation instruments, computer logs, and incoming and outgoing information in the ship's wireless network."

"But weren't Hinata and Temari connected at some impossible-to-replicate frequency?" Tsunade asked.

Gaara nodded, "Yes, but that only guarantees information transmitted between the two of them is safe. Their ships have a separate wireless network that operates at normal frequency levels which are susceptible to infiltration."

Udon frowned, "We've done a check on Hinata's ship. Its wireless network was intact and untouched."

"I don't doubt your group's competence, but I've chosen to do a more comprehensive check as a precautionary measure," Gaara diplomatically replied.

Inuzuka cleared his throat to bring the attention back onto him. "So, at 1500 hours, we will be docked at the Allied Space Station. Lee and Tenten are due at the Station's Academy branch at 1600 hours for the recruits' orientation." Kiba turned to Moegi, "Akabara, I want you undercover as a recruit. Tenten and Lee may have the rank to go everywhere you can't be, but it's been my experience that even the gossip and hearsay of recruits fresh from planetside can be most informative."

Moegi scoffed, "Sir, I've been out of the Academy for three years! I couldn't possibly fit in with the rest of the first-years! What are they, 16 at most?"

From the screen, the Hokage laughed heartily, then amusedly sighed, "Sweetheart, when you get to be as old as me, you'll be thankful that you don't look your age. You're trying too hard to look old anyway, just wipe all that make-up off and you'll fit right in."

"But I'm 21! I do not look 16 _at all_!" Akabara cried as she practically jumped out of her chair in anger.

Kiba rolled his eyes, "There's really not much difference in a woman from 16 to 21. Maybe cup-size. But no one's going to be looking there, so deal with it."

The Chuunin officer, apparently out of excuses, roughly threw herself back into her chair and childishly crossed her arms in a huff. "Fine. But I want my own bunk. I'm not sharing a room with some stupid kids."

The team leader shook his head and grumbled, "Whatever."

----

It was quite possibly the most torturous half hour Hinata had ever experienced, and she expected no less from a psychiatrist who once worked under Commander Ibiki's interrogation unit. Through interrogation tactics, wordplay and puppy dog eyes, Ino had extracted all she wanted to know regarding Hinata's deteriorated friendship with Shikamaru that dated back six months. And it hurt all the more reliving it.

_When Hinata was sure Sasuke had fallen asleep, she proceeded to secure his hospital room: miniscule cameras and microphones planted in various nooks and crevices of the hospital room, and an interceptor attached to his IV needle that would monitor his body's pulse and temperature variances in real time for Shikamaru-sensei's remote terminal. If any traitorous activity went on, or if anyone decided to take advantage of Sasuke's weakened and handcuffed state came to harm him, Shikamaru would know immediately. _

_Once she ran a thorough check that everything was online, she slipped quietly out of the room and headed directly to her sensei's office. She had plenty of time now that her guard duty was over to catch up with her sensei, whom she hadn't seen for almost five years. During that time, she acted as the Clan Matriarch, second only to her father Hiashi, and was far too busy to keep in touch with the friends she made while growing up on the Kasai Arashi. The only time she saw active duty as a soldier and weapon of Konoha was when her bio-android advantages were required. _

_This particular trip back to her place of birth wasn't supposed to involve capturing the most wanted traitor of their military, nor did it have anything to do at all with enemy confrontation. She was called to service merely to update and store the military and civilian records from the Hokage's database to her memory base. And yet, just before she was due to head back to the planetside Hyuuga compound, they had stumbled across Sasuke, floating frozen in deep space. And with such a high-ranking enemy and traitor onboard, she knew she would be on the Kasai Arashi for a good while longer._

_Hinata sighed to herself. She supposed she should be grateful that she was so important to her country, but something about acting as a walking flash drive with unlimited memory stores and a pretty face left a bitter taste in her mouth and an emptiness in her chest. It was at times like this she wished she was maybe a little less human. Then it wouldn't hurt to be seen as, well, less than human. But she reminded herself that if she wasn't human, she wouldn't have the heart and sense to know that the Uchiha was not nearly as bad as everyone made him out to be, nor the guts to attempt what she was planning to do._

_It took awhile to find, but Hinata managed to navigate her way to Shikamaru's new quarters. Not that she was expecting him to have the same bunk when he was 18, but she wasn't expecting that he would be in a wing reserved for the highest ranking ship officers. Half a decade had gone by since she'd seen her sensei. She took a deep breath and knocked on the metal door._

_After a couple of minutes, Hinata could hear him shuffling toward the door, unlatching it. It swung open and she nearly apologized for knocking on the wrong door when she realized the person standing before her was indeed her Shikamaru-sensei. He was a good half-foot taller than she remembered, and most certainly broader. Where his awkward teenage lankiness left off, a grown-up lean athleticism developed. When her eyes finally managed to move their way up to his face (goodness, he was tall!) she sucked in a breath and for three seconds forgot how to breathe. A strong, august bone structure replaced the baby fat, which, when coupled with the straight yet slightly uptilted nose, made it a still somewhat boyish face. It seemed the only thing that stayed the same was his eyes: deep, dark brown that had the spark of insatiable intelligence yet still carried the weight of the world, tempered with laziness and boredom. At that moment, those eyes were widened in surprise._

"_Hinata?"_

_Her brain threw millions of possible responses, one after another, at her communications processor, but all words died in her throat._

"_Are you okay?"_

_No amount of superhuman intelligence seemed to help, so she fell back to the most basic action to get herself back in order. She coughed._

"_Erm, yes, I'm fine, thank you. I was just taken by surprise is all." _

_That face she was so intent on staring at took on the familiar smirk. "Yet YOU were the one who knocked on MY door."_

_After what seemed like ages, Hinata managed to tear her eyes away from her mentor, only to stare at her toes. "Yes, well, you've gotten so..."_

"_...so...?"_

"_....tall," she finished lamely._

_He laughed, "Thanks, I guess." He stepped aside and made a vague welcoming gesture. "Come in, make yourself at home."_

_Hinata walked in, and was surprised at how home-like it was. It was a large suite, with the living area doing double duty as an office. Further back, a small kitchen was adjoined to a dining area. On the opposite side, a short hallway led to what she assumed was a bedroom and bathroom . When she took off her shoes, the floor caught her attention. Wall-to-wall carpeting? She smiled at the sensation when she wiggled her toes on it._

_Shikamaru's voice interrupted her toe-bliss. "So, do you like it?"_

_She nodded enthusiastically, "Yes! It's just like a real 'home.'" She looked around again and noticed he had something cooking on the stove. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come unannounced--"_

_The young man shook his head and waved it off, "No, no, just making some dinner. I have enough for two if you want to stay."_

"_Thank you, I'd like that."_

_Not a man of many words, he pulled her along and had her sit at the dining table as he continued his cooking._

"_So, what brings you here?" Shikamaru asked as he started chopping vegetables._

_Hinata fiddled with the hem of her extra-long sleeves unconsciously. "Besides capturing the most wanted traitor of our nation? Not much."_

"_Hokage's memory update?"_

"_Mm-hmm." Looking around the apartment brought her back to what she wanted to ask. "Are all the officers' quarters like this?"_

_The Nara looked up and briefly skimmed the accommodations as if it were no big deal, "Nope. Just mine."_

_When Hinata responded with an amazed stare, he continued, "I, uh, got promoted while you were gone. Working with Asuma grabbed the attention of some higher-ups, exposed me to new projects."_

_The Lady Hyuuga grinned with interest. "What kinds of projects?"_

_The man smirked, "You know, things here and there, designing and building my own ship, stuff like that."_

_She practically jumped out of her seat. "Building your own ship? You're a Captain now?"_

"_Not quite, but once the ship is done, there will be an official ceremony, yes," he explained nonchalantly while putting the chopped vegetables in his simmering pot._

_Hinata flushed with pride that her mentor was moving up and gaining recognition for his genius. She stood from her seat and bowed low. "Congratulations on your promotion, Shikamaru-sensei. I'm sure you will be the pride of the Konoha fleet."_

_Before she could say anymore, he left the kitchen, grabbed her by her shoulders and pulled her upright. "Don't do that."_

_Her white eyes widened quizzically, "Do what?"_

"_This. Being proper and formal," he let go of her shoulders, and she realized she missed the feeling as soon as his hands left her. He smiled, turning back to the kitchen to finish cooking dinner, "You're not subject to daily progress reports or etiquette training or anything like that anymore. It's just me."_

_Hinata only grew more confused, "I don't understand."_

"_You're an adult now, Hinata. I'm not your sensei. Just Shikamaru," he explained as he placed two bowls of food on the table for them both._

_She looked down at her bowl – it was a vegetable stew he frequently made, solely because it required very little effort but was still fulfilling and delicious. She grew up on it, believing it was the best thing ever, even after her father introduced her to the fine foods and delicacies of the wealthy. She looked up and smiled._

"_Thank you for dinner, Shikamaru."_

_The meal went by quickly, the eating interspersed with conversation to catch up with the last four and a half years. Shikamaru further explained his latest endeavors, his ship being the first of its kind and having all the comforts and amenities he desired for himself and his yet-to-be-named crew while still being a full-fledged carrier ready for battle. His remarkable genius and talent for strategy coupled with Konoha's massive funding and cutting-edge technology had him on a set course to a made man._

_Hinata, for her part, was a busy bee as well, negotiating business deals, handling internal Clan affairs, representing the Hyuuga at political, military, and international gatherings and generally leading when her father was otherwise unavailable, all while still guiding her sister Hanabi as she trained to be the next Head of Clan. The past five years gifted her with a monumental amount of diplomatic experience, and it was only then while sitting with her old mentor that she realized how far she had come. It gave her the courage she needed to ask him about Sasuke's future with Konoha. She breached the subject with a person of similar circumstances._

"_Shikamaru, what will happen to Tayuya now that you'll be getting your own ship?" she asked, genuinely not wanting to the former Sound officer to be left behind as a war criminal._

_The young Konoha officer raised an eyebrow, "She's coming with me. The Hokage approved my request to have her on as an employee rather than a prisoner of war. Why?"_

"_Oh, that's wonderful! I was just worried about her situation," she exclaimed, relieved, then a little more quietly, "And what of Uchiha Sasuke?"_

_Shikamaru shrugged, "He was just captured today. I doubt he'll be leaving Tsunade's ship anytime soon, if ever."_

_Hinata took a few seconds to contemplate the idea of Sasuke living as a prisoner of his own countrymen. He did betray them years ago, but he was so young and easily influenced at the time, still just a boy. Her time spent with him in his hospital room revealed a person she could hardly connect to one of the most infamous traitors of Konoha's history. He was polite, bluntly honest, surprisingly trusting of his captors, and though he never said it aloud, she sensed penitence. She couldn't live with herself if she didn't at least try to help his case._

"_Would you ever consider doing the same for him, what you're doing for Tayuya?"_

_Shikamaru visibly tensed, "Has he brought it up with you?"_

"_No, not at all!" Hinata reassured._

_He sighed, running his hands over his over his spiked ponytail before leaning back and clasping his hands behind his head. "I wouldn't recommend growing attached to him. You already know the laws and punishment applied to traitors."_

_She knew very well indeed. Every law ever written in Konoha's history, those still in existence and those repealed, sat in her unlimited memory stores. Sasuke was looking at execution._

"_I think he should be given another chance."_

_Shikamaru chuckled, "Of course you do. Everyone is innately good in your eyes, regardless of their crimes." He then turned serious. "But you can't put your trust in some people so easily, Hinata. Especially in a situation like this."_

"_What about Tayuya? She's actually going to be a productive citizen once you get your ship, and she's from the Sound. Why can't the same apply to Sasuke?"_

"_Because he has already betrayed us once. Nothing says he won't do it again. Also, Tayuya has had years to prove herself to the Hokage," Shikamaru reasoned._

_Hinata was nothing if not determined. "So we saved him for no reason? Why did we pull him from deep space only to let him recuperate a little and then kill him ourselves? He doesn't deserve that. No one does."_

_Shikamaru turned to her, eyes narrowed. She knew that look, she'd seen it countless times from countless people, but never, EVER from him. It broke her heart and infuriated her at the same time._

"_You don't trust me," she accused._

"_I didn't say that. And why are you so adamant on saving him?"_

"_Is it really necessary to end a life like this?"_

_He shook his head. "That's not what I mean. I'm asking, why him specifically? After everything he's done, the resulting deaths and destruction, why save someone like Uchiha Sasuke?"_

_She gripped her own hands if only to hide their shaking. "Because he's different now! He isn't aiming to take down Konoha from his hospital bed!"_

_Shikamaru's eyes suddenly went wide, incredulous. "I can't believe it." He shook his head to himself, "I can't fucking believe it. The guy turns his back on his own country to join the enemy, and he STILL picks up fangirls."_

_The petite girl slammed her fists on the dining table. "I am NOT some Uchiha fangirl!"_

_Shikamaru matched her fist-slam with his own and scoffed, "Really? You're vouching for a war criminal you only just met today!"_

_Hinata felt her emotional processors going haywire and her attempts to think straight through her anger were failing. She took a deep breath. "Shikamaru, I'm not saying to let him run free as he pleases, nor am I siding with a national traitor. I am merely asking that you trust my judgment of him and consider taking him with you."_

_He shook his head, "I'm not willing to risk a crew of thousands and a state-of-the-art ship just because he made a good impression on you during lunch. It's illogical."_

"_I'm not judging him based on logic. I'm judging him with my heart. Why can't you trust that?"_

"_Because you were never __**designed **__to do that."_

---

Kankurou was rifling through a girly fashion magazine proclaiming magenta was the new black (whatever that meant), waiting out another of Hinata's psychiatric visits, when the sound of sniffling drew his attention. When he looked up, he saw Ino patting a crying Hinata's shoulder comfortingly, and sending the poor girl off to her guard with a box of tissue. This was definitely new. She had never come out this distraught before. Kankurou immediately jumped to his feet and pulled her into a bear hug.

"Hey Princess, what's wrong?" he asked soothingly.

Hinata hiccuped, "N-nothing. I just had to get through some things with Ino." She blew her nose, emitting an embarrassed squeak for her unladylike behavior. Kankurou just laughed into the top of her sandy blonde hair.

"Don't want to talk about it?"

She shook her head furiously and covered her face with her hands, hiccuping and sniffling some more. His chest tightened at the sight, though he wasn't sure if he was feeling protective over Hinata herself or merely his sister's body. The thought was pushed aside and an idea replaced it.

"Hmm, tell you what. Since it seems you've had a crappy day, I'll take you out tonight after we dock at the station," he pulled away slightly to look down on her tear-streaked face, "How does that sound?"

Watery teal eyes blinked up at him in a way that utterly melted him. "W-where would we go?"

Kankurou tapped his chin with his finger in mock contemplation, "Oh, I don't know...perhaps we can gorge ourselves on ice cream. Ice cream makes everything better, right?"

She giggled, "Y-yes, I suppose so." She sobered after a moment and awkwardly wrapped her arms around his torso, hiding her face in his chest. "Thank you, Kankurou."

Thank goodness Hinata was holding him in Temari's taller and stronger body, because it was all Kankurou could do to keep from falling over.

----

As soon as Ino left the weeping Hinata in Kankurou's care, she closed her office door, grabbed her communicator, and dialed from memory. Her call was answered within a few rings, and the screen opened up to reveal the called party.

"_Hello? Oh, hi Ino."_

She glared death at her screen. "Shikamaru, you get your ass in my office right now."

"_Um, isn't that usually the other way around? 'Ino, get in my of--'"_

Normally, she'd laugh, say something to the effect of gentlemen always calling upon the ladies, never the other way around. But today, she just wasn't having it.

"Your ass. My office. NOW." And she hung up before he could say otherwise.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Ahhh, I've been working on this story for over a year now, and I have yet to reach the climax! I'm sorry for the delay in updates -- my personal life is so utterly effed up right now it's not even funny.

Thank you for your patience, as well as for your reviews! They are always appreciated!


	17. In Breaking News, A New Development

"Ino, I'm supposed to be at a meeting right now–"

"With Kiba and the Kages?" the blonde asked, as she closed the door behind her friend, "They don't actually need you, so don't even think of leaving."

Shikamaru's perpetually drooping shoulders drooped even more. He wasn't stupid; it was only a matter of time that Ino found out. If anything, he was surprised it took so many weeks for Hinata to finally open up about it. Either he gave himself way too much credit for assuming she'd be so broken up about their argument that she would instantaneously burst into tears as soon as her first therapy session started, or his careless remarks hurt her so deeply she couldn't even bring it up without Ino's determined coaxing. He hoped for his guilt-ridden conscience's sake it was the former.

He also dearly hoped Ino wouldn't throttle him, because she looked like she very much wanted to take a flying lunge off her desk at him.

"What did she tell you?" he grumped, belying his true wariness.

"Events starting from when Sasuke fell asleep his first night on Tsunade-sama's ship," she replied curtly, crossing her arms.

"Well," Shikamaru started carefully, "you know where I was and what I was doing at that point."

Dr. Yamanaka knew very well indeed what was going on while Hinata bugged Sasuke's hospital room – she herself was with Shikamaru. As one of the captain's nearest and dearest friends, she had seen the changes that took place when Hyuuga Hinata disembarked the Kasai Arashi years ago to take her seat at the right hand of her father. The Nara ate less, slept less, smiled less. All questioning of his well-being was brushed off as normal new promotion stress. His shogi time was cut down drastically as he buried himself in his work, which was absolutely unheard of for him. He wasn't exactly a cheery person to begin with, but Ino could see something within him was dimmed. And it was five years later when she saw the spark again, at someone's offhand comment that Hinata would be arriving for routine maintenance and update of the ship's memory stores. Ino suspected Shikamaru even went so far as to properly comb his hair that day.

_That _day.

"I was in your quarters, helping you prep for your big reunion," Ino recounted. "I brought you my good dishes for when you'd find Hinata and invite her back for dinner."

Shikamaru snorted, "Right, 'prep'. You were pestering me about seeing Hinata and pushing your flowery plates and bowls on me. And rambling about finally making some progress, or some such nonsense."

Ino walked around her desk to approach Shikamaru. Her blue eyes were half-lidded, in boredom or exasperation. Either way, it caught the Captain off-guard when her hand swiftly cuffed him just above his ear. When the stars cleared his vision, he found his friend in her usual over-emoting state. In this case, livid.

"Shika-kun!" she scolded. "Get the _hell _over yourself and come to your God damned senses, because everyone else is waiting for you to catch up to what we've already known for years!"

"Jesus Christ, did you have to hit me?" Shikamaru bemoaned while rubbing his head.

"_YES!_" the good doctor screeched, before turning her back to Shikamaru and taking a calming breath. Though, when she turned back to him, her expression was strained.

"'_Never designed to do that_'? Where the hell did that come from?" the blonde doctor exclaimed. "You were always the one person encouraging the girls to be who they are, and follow what they felt was right, because _you_, of all people, believed in their humanity."

Shikamaru knew everything Ino said was true. He didn't bother defending his actions. And it was his experience that if he kept his mouth shut during his friend's lectures, she would calm down soon enough and the likelihood of physical assault dropped significantly.

"It's funny," the woman continued in dark humor. "No one could figure out why you

were so persistent in your campaign for Sasuke's employment here."

The captain forced a smile, "Good thing he turned out okay, right?"

"Good thing for _him _that you decided to suck it up and trust Hinata's instincts," Ino retorted, punctuating with her hands on her hips.

After a long pause, both contemplating what could have happened if Shikamaru had ignored Hinata's input. Traitor or not, a life could have been snuffed out unnecessarily. It was Shikamaru's own conscience that spurred him to at least redeem himself in his own eyes for what he unthinkingly and insensitively blurted out at Hinata. He honestly didn't think he deserved to be in her good graces ever again after that night, but he would never deny being grateful that she at least acknowledged his existence now, whether or not it was due to her memory loss.

As if reading her friend's face like a book, Ino gently breached the silence.

"What happened that night, Shika? I leave you with my blessings and best dishes, and the next thing I know, it's six months later and Hinata can barely hold herself together with me when talking about you."

If the smack in the head wasn't enough to knock the sense out of him, Ino's words finished the job. He realized he had been banking this whole time that perhaps Hinata just didn't remember what happened, if only to let himself sleep at night while having to face her every week Now rubbing his head in frustration, he dropped himself on the doctor's couch.

"I had no idea," he mumbled, mostly to himself.

Ino slowly sat herself on the couch next to her friend, as if recklessly dropping herself would shatter him. Even though it pained her to see him like this, part of her warmed to the fact that he wasn't hiding his emotions anymore. She put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Shika, look at yourself," she commanded softly. He was finally opening up, and she would not waste the chance to guide him in the right direction.

Captain Nara didn't change his position, merely grunting, "Excuse me?"

"_Look _at yourself."

He shook his head bitterly. "Why? Is my behavior unbecoming of a Captain? Like I ever cared."

The blonde woman ignored him and sighed. She knew this would likely hurt him further, but as a friend and professional, she knew he had to face what he had been denying and what everyone else suspected all along.

"Would you be acting like this if it was Temari?"

The man froze in his persistent head-rubbing, but otherwise didn't move or answer. It was enough for Ino. She let him stay in her office as she closed up for the day.

Moegi dragged herself out of the conference room just enough to not get snapped by the doors sliding shut behind her. She closed her eyes and leaned back against the cool metal for a solid minute before pushing herself back up. Staying behind after the meeting to hammer out final details with the Hokage, Lieutenant Inuzuka held her back for a last-minute review of her reconnaissance training. She understood that she needed it, and that he really could not rely on anyone else to pull off looking like a new recruit, what with all his peers being high-ranked, influential, or just plain easily recognized. Her status as the fresh meat of the team was her asset, and Kiba's training made sure she would be able to use it to her utmost advantage. At the moment though, she wanted to find a place to lay down before the _Keima _docked at the station.

She was a mere thirty feet from the conference room door when a large hand wrapped around her upper arm and pulled her into the shadows of a little-used hallway.

Going from the haze of mental exhaustion to pumped full of adrenaline left her almost too disoriented to hear the person say, "Hey, Rosebud."

After several seconds of making sure her heart didn't explode out of her ribcage and regaining her faculties, Moegi finally addressed her boyfriend.

"Did you have to do that?" she squeaked, beating her boyfriend's barrel chest half-heartedly.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to surprise you. You're usually not so oblivious."

The redheaded girl sighed heavily and straightened out her rumpled uniform jacket. "I know, I know. Just mentally preparing for the mission."

"You mean, looking for a place to nap."

Moegi smiled up at the man, "You know me too well, Chouji."

"No, you just look burnt out," the Lieutenant chuckled as he began to wrap his arms around his petite girlfriend. Moegi heard footsteps approaching around the corner. She took a step back just as she saw Udon walk by, completely engrossed with texting on his communicator yet again.

"What if someone sees?" she whispered hoarsely.

Chouji rolled his eyes good-naturedly, "No one on this ship actually cares about the rules of dating outside rank."

"No," Moegi pouted, "_Shikamaru _doesn't care, because you're his best friend."

"And every crew member on this boat was handpicked by him. I doubt any of them care either."

After deliberating inwardly, the young woman finally succumbed to her boyfriend's hug, the warmth reminding her that she really needed a nap. She might have actually fallen asleep if her team leader hadn't burst into their little hallway.

"Oh, Moegi, Tsunade-sama says to suck it up and bunk with the rest of the recruits. Blending in and eavesdropping, you know?" Kiba said, before winking and adding, "And don't tell the cute little boys about your man."

While Moegi fumed and ranted about privacy, her good reputation, and crushing a particular person's unmentionables, Chouji merely laughed.

Lieutenant Hyuuga Neji was startled though somehow not surprised when Lieutenant Inuzuka burst into the ship's bridge with a wicked grin splitting his face. He gave Neji a little wave and plopped himself into his navigation chair, checking the ship's auto-pilot status as it guided its way to the Allied Space Station. Neji decided, not for the first time, and certainly not for the last time, that he would never understand his crewmate.

Without turning his attention away from his navigation screen, Kiba said, "I got Tsunade-sama's approval to let your uncle know about Hinata and that we're docking at the Station. Just no talking about her, uh...condition."

Neji nodded and pulled out his communicator, then asked, "How long until we arrive?"

"Fifteen minutes."

Lieutenant Hyuuga immediately dialed his uncle, who answered with a toneless, "_Hello_."

"Uncle, I wanted to inform you that we will be docking at the Allied Space Station shortly."

"_Hn. What is the status of Hinata's recovery?_" the Clan leader asked without a shred of emotion.

"Inconclusive, at the moment. Otherwise, she is completely healthy."

Hiashi paused a few seconds and it seemed to Neji that he was surreptitiously scanning his immediate surroundings. Then the elder Hyuuga asked, "_When exactly did you find out you would be docking at the Station?_"

The Lieutenant tried not let his confusion show on his face. "I was just informed by the navigator not three minutes ago."

"_Hn. Thank you, Neji._" And the screen blipped to black.

In his study, Hiashi leaned back in his chair and watched as his younger daughter's elderly handmaid walked past his open door several times. The first time, thirty minutes ago, she was carrying a luggage bag. Then, laundry. Now, it was packed food.

The Clan leader knew Hanabi was getting information from an unknown source before he was getting official word from anyone else. If anything, he was proud of her ability to network and obtain reliable underground information – it was the mark of a good leader, though no good leader would ever admit it. His only complaint was that she found the leak before he could.

However, he made a mental note to pull her aside and let her know that when handling classified business, using the help was not ideal. He understood that servants were prone to gossip, especially when it was about their employers.

"This is bullshit!" a silver-haired man whined to his female companion. "We've been stuck at this Station for six months. I should've died from the boredom ages ago."

Sitting beside him, a bespectacled young woman glared from beneath the deep hood of her floor-length cloak. "You're bored because you're lazy. Maybe if you actually did something productive toward our mission, you'd shut the hell up."

The man had taken to spinning on his bar stool, the picture of childish restlessness. The woman, on the other hand, was stooped over her drink at the bar, the bright purple of her girly cocktail reflecting off the lenses of her thick, black-rimmed glasses. She blew an errant red lock of hair from her face before taking a dainty sip.

"Suigetsu," she muttered lowly, "The word of the day is _inconspicuous_. Demonstrate the definition for once in your life."

"Because drinking candy-colored cocktails dressed like an exiled leper is totally inconspicuous, right Karin?" the still-spinning Suigetsu countered.

Some distance away, the toothpick-chewing bartender answered his ringing communicator, "Oi, missy, coming to town?..." Noting his distraction, Suigetsu and Karin huddled closer to gain more privacy, even if Suigetsu only chose to complain more.

"Half a damn year and we haven't heard a peep from Lord Orochimaru. We did what we were supposed to do, why can't we go back yet?" the young man whispered harshly.

Karin resisted the urge to blindside him with a right hook to the temple. "If he had merely wanted the supplies ordered, he could have done that without sending someone here. We have to keep our ears to the ground for information about the _Keima_."

A sudden laugh was emitted by the bartender, "Yeah, yeah, see you in a bit. Tell your Captain I have some news..." With the bartender's distraction coming to an end, the two Sound minions left their money on the counter and abruptly left.

_"What kind of news, Genma?"_

The bartender watched his two secretive patrons as they blended into the crowds in the Allied Space Station's shopping district. "I'd say good news, Tayuya," he answered.

Tayuya immediately ran through her contacts list for Captain Nara's number after her conversation with her employee. If Genma said he had news for Shikamaru, it must be important. It was the least she could do for all the Captain and Konoha had done for giving her the chance to turn her life around.

It wasn't common knowledge that she was the owner of the Auburn Dawn bar and supper club in the main thoroughfare of the Space Station's shopping district, but the regular shipments of premium-level ginjo-shu sake to the Hokage ensured the reformed Sound soldier's honest fresh start of a new life remained a secret. From what Tayuya had heard, Shizune was still trying to figure out where the mysterious liquor shipments were coming from.

After reaching the Captain's voicemail three times, she gave up. It was unlikely that Shikamaru was napping since they had just docked at the Station, and that would be the only reason why he wasn't picking up. She resolved instead to find Shino, and told the butterflies in her stomach that it was strictly for official business.

If Lieutenant Subakuno was renowned for anything other than his lineage, it was his ability to please the ladies. This very thought was what kept the sly grin on his lips as he prepped for his evening out with Hinata. His uniform was perfectly pressed, his face clean shaven with a hint of some rugged-scented aftershave, and his hair washed and combed but still handsomely disheveled if he did say so himself.

Perhaps this was overkill for what she expected to be a short outing for ice cream to cheer her up from her particularly emotional therapy session with that blonde doctor, but Kankuro decided if he was going to pull her out of her depression, he'd pull out all the stops to do it. He'd do the same for his sister, so the creepy factor was minimal with Hinata looking like her. However, he wouldn't hold it against the shy girl if she fell for his generous and charming nature. And with Naruto swept up in Temari's wake, it was just a matter of time.

He stepped out of his quarter's bathroom, adjusting the cuffs of his shirt, and stared at the door that connected his room to Hinata's. Why anyone would overlook such a fantastic girl, regardless of the circumstance of her birth, was beyond Kankuro. Perhaps he was tired of playing the field in Suna, or maybe the repetitive catch-and-release was jading him. Hinata was a whole new experience for him, completely unaffected by his usual bait, or anyone else's casual efforts for her attention, from what he'd seen the past weeks. To be within the scope of her beneficent regard was a luxury Naruto took for granted, and Kankuro decided to see to it that she did not waste her time on someone so undeserving and oblivious.

Kankuro picked up his communicator and dialed the number of a recommendation he'd gotten from a friend. "Hi, Auburn Dawn? I'd like to make a reservation for two, please..."

**Author's Note:**

This was finished some time ago. I'm actually pretty far along on the next chapter. Thanks for reading and sticking with me even when I take obscenely long to update! I really do appreciate it. :)

BY THE WAY, ANYONE GOING TO FANIME IN SAN JOSE THIS WEEKEND? I may go, not sure. I've never been to a con before...


	18. Some Introspection

_These holes..._

Tokubetsu Jounin Aburame Shino was logging in some serious overtime, poring over the two bio-androids' overlapped codes that he had practically memorized by now. Combining the weekly reports from Ino and Sakura with his own updates and having a team of engineers entering codes and testing the progress wasn't getting the desired results fast enough – at the rate they were going, they'd be lucky to crack the user interface switch-lock within three decades. But something about what little successful coding they solved had drawn his attention.

_The binary spelled out letters._

But the letters didn't actually spell out words. They were, however, all capitalized. Yet, this was in only one gap of the puzzle, and a very small portion at that. A handful of letters was not enough to provide the key to unlocking the rich pattern of missing information scrolling on Shino's monitor.

With a grumble and a sigh, he pulled his dark glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes against the onslaught of binary digits. After a moment, he typed in a command and the two coded interfaces split to settle next to each other on his monitor screen. If anything, it made the pattern completely unrecognizable. Giving his mind a break, he began toying with the interfaces as flat images, laying them on each other and separating them again. Over and over, without moving so much as three fingers across his keyboard as he gave out a stifled yawn.

When he heard the hiss of the door opening behind him, he put his glasses back on and turned to find an out-of-breath Tayuya gripping her communicator in a stranglehold. She must have been running, because she was positively pink in the face.

"Please excuse my interruption, sir, I know you were busy handling the bio-android coding problem," she said with a polite bow.

Shino stood up and nodded in acknowledgment. "No need to apologize, I was taking a break from it." He quirked an inquiring brow. "Was there something with which you need assistance?"

The redheaded woman paused a moment, as if collecting her thoughts. "I just got a call from Genma."

_Genma?_ Shino knew the semi-retired Spec Ops worked at Tayuya's supper club, but if the woman looked this serious upon receiving a call from her employee, he had the feeling it had nothing to do with mixed up liquor shipments and more to do with his old profession.

"Have you informed Captain Nara?" he asked.

She shook her head, "I've called him twice already with no answer. I thought maybe you knew where he was." She gripped her communicator even tighter in her frustration, "Where is he?" she grumbled more to herself than to present company. "Genma told me specifically to tell the Captain, so it must be important shi- ...stuff."

Shino nodded, not at all lost on the fact that Tayuya watched her language around him. He wondered about that sometimes, especially when she had no issues cursing with anyone else. However, that was not the issue at hand.

"I'll find him and let him know. Was there anything else to the message?"

The former Sound soldier's shoulders relaxed and she shook her head. "No, Genma only said he had good news."

The Aburame approached the woman and put a kind hand on her shoulder, "Thank you for letting me know. I will make it my priority to find Shikamaru."

Oddly, Tayuya's still-flushed face glowed an even brighter red. Shino peered at her over his dark lenses. "Tayuya, are you feeling alright?"

"Yes!" she answered quite adamantly, "I'm perfectly fine."

"Hn," the man pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. "Still, I'd be more comforted in the knowledge that you stayed in my office and had a drink of water from the fridge before resuming your duties." He turned and briskly walked out of his office in search of his Captain.

After a moment, Tayuya walked over to the nearest chair and flopped onto it in a most undignified heap.

"...I should have just fucking called him," she muttered while trying to convince the butterflies in her stomach that it was safe to go away.

* * *

Hinata could hear her escort and bodyguard moving around in his room next door, probably getting ready for their outing now that the _Keima_ had docked at the Allied Space Station. She had been ready quite awhile ago, having only thrown on a blouse-y belted tunic over fitted trousers that she tucked into tall low-heeled boots. There was no reason to draw attention to herself as a noble.

Now, staring into the mirror, the only thing to take care of was her puffy bloodshot eyes. Though Kankurou was very kind in his assurances that everything would be okay (despite not even knowing why she was unhappy) she found herself sobbing again as soon as she was left alone in her room. And more than anything, she was shocked at how _helpless_ she felt, how she had no control over her bodily reaction to this upsetting situation, which only spiraled into an even more depressing thought: as advanced as she was, as unnatural as her abilities were, there were plenty of things she just had no control over, and it was a very humbling thought.

Perhaps she thought with her subtle, and honestly good-intentioned manipulating, she could position the players in a way that would bring about the most desirable result. But the realization that she had _manipulated_ was almost as devastating as realizing she had no real influence over Naruto's heart. It was so incredibly selfish. Another unsavory human quality had developed.

This was not a shogi game, and people were not pawns for her to slide around the board for her sole benefit. And pondering this shogi-based metaphor did nothing to ease her insecurities regarding her unfamiliar and confusing emotions. Remembering her thrice-weekly games with Shikamaru from her childhood, and connecting that smiling teenaged boy who encouraged her through every obstacle and feat, with a man who very clearly made his opinion known about her purpose in this world made her heart lurch, and she laughed bitterly at the irony of experiencing such a human response.

She grabbed a tissue from a side table and blotted at her eyes, then focused her processors on temperature variances of her body, shifting the overheat in the ocular areas to distribute evenly over her face to bring down the swelling and minimize the redness. She did a very quick lookover of herself in the mirror to make sure she was presentable, but didn't look in the mirror longer than necessary. Seeing the tall blonde woman only reminded her how much she hated herself and her situation.

Hinata's attention was drawn back to reality when she heard Kankurou knock on the door adjoining their rooms. She pulled a hooded coat from the closet, put on Temari's winning smile, and opened the door to what she welcomed as a distraction.

* * *

Naruto knew he shouldn't be nervous. It wasn't like it was a _date_ or anything. They were just hanging out, as friends. Going out to eat somewhere _as friends_. It didn't matter what he wore, or whether he shaved, or if his aftershave was an appealing scent. But he still worried over all of that.

He wasn't as dumb as people assumed. He knew very well that he had a bit of a crush on the Lady Hyuuga. It astounded him sometimes that she had more life and humor and vigor than humans made the old-fashioned way, who lived full lives and grew up at a normal pace. She was totally different from the extremely introverted and awkward little girl he knew five years ago. She was a well-mannered dignitary, who showed flashes of feistiness and spunk, and raged like the mother of all banshees when they double-teamed against other people during their extensive video game sessions. And it kind of warmed him that she didn't seem to reveal this side of herself to most people. Granted, sometimes he got the feeling that he annoyed her a good deal, but he liked to think that if she wasn't bound by the Hokage's order to stick close to him at all times, she'd willingly be friends with him.

The young lieutenant sighed to himself as he turned to grab a jacket from his closet. Perhaps he really was as dumb as people say. Who in their right mind would allow themselves to fall for a person who not only was far above their own station, but was also not going to be in the picture in the long term? He wasn't clear on what exactly was wrong with Hinata and Temari, but he knew it was serious if Shikamaru and Shino were working around the clock trying to fix something. And once the problem was solved, Hinata would go home to lead the noble Clan of Hyuuga, and Naruto would stay on the _Keima_, schlepping around as a dog of the military, and they'd be lucky if they even saw each other twice a year.

He jumped at the firm knocking on the door, not expecting that the woman would be ready before him. He bounded for the mirror one last time, decided at the last second he looked a little too clean-cut and roughed up his blond hair, then sped back to the door that connected his room to Hinata's to let her in.

She looked like she hadn't put any effort into her appearance at all, but she still looked as pretty as ever. Instead of her usual semi-formal clothing that she had been wearing, she wore a markedly casual hooded knit sweater coat that went down to her knees, which covered her dark grey belted jumpsuit that he just _knew_ was hugging her in all the right places under that giant sweater. The buckled boots she wore gave her a rougher look that he assumed was meant to help her fit in more with the diverse crowds they would be encountering in the Space Station. It contrasted nicely with her innocent face, he observed.

Her hands were in her sweater's pockets and her toe was tapping. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, I think so...," Naruto answered while patting his hands down his body to check that he had everything he needed. He grabbed his wallet from the table by the door and they headed out.

"So, Hinata, anything you have in mind to explore first?"

"Hmm," she shrugged as they strolled down the corridor toward the ship's exit. "Wouldn't mind doing some souvenir shopping."

"Great idea! I should probably do that myself actually," he replied, then added, "Did you want to eat while we're out? I'm not sure I know enough about the Station to give you a tour, but maybe we can find a good eatery if we look around a bit."

The woman's white eyes lit up at the idea, "Oh! Actually, a friend of mine owns a place in the main thoroughfare. Auburn Dawn, I think it's called."

* * *

_What a load of bullshit._

Shikamaru was sprawled out on his friend's psychiatric chaise with his forearm covering his eyes as if to block the flood of thoughts that were coming at him ever since Ino left him to his own devices in her office.

_Where did she get off asking something like that?_

Would he be this agitated and guilt-ridden if it was Temari he utterly screwed up with? Of course not, but that was because of the girls' very different personalities.

He grumbled in frustration. Their _personalities_. They were two people of distinct individuality. By all definitions, they were human. So why did he obliterate Hinata's self-worth with such a demonizing accusation, that she was operating outside her purpose? He'd spent years studying artificial intelligence theory and biogenetics, and the year he spent watching her grow was enough to prove to him that this man-made creation had all the human potential of a naturally produced person, if not more.

Fear was a factor, he knew. The years between when she left and when he saw her again during Sasuke's capture must have had tremendous impact on her. Sure, she was still the sweet girl he recalled, the kind of person who would be so embarrassed and apologetic every time she beat him at shogi. Which was every game they played from when she was four years old. She could wipe the floor with any opponent, then somehow make them feel better about their humiliating defeat. What was different was how she carried herself, how she handled situations where the lines were blurred and right and wrong weren't as simple, how she managed to surprise him by doing something he didn't expect.

And there it was, he realized. It was her newfound unpredictability that unnerved him. It shouldn't have, since he was more than familiar with the trait in the people he knew, and most especially because Temari was a wild card from birth. But he supposed that hovering over her for her entire first year of life had the comforting effect of knowing exactly what she would do when faced with any situation. He never erred incorrectly about her decisions, preferences, and problem-solving while she was under his care.

Then she walked into his quarters that night six months ago and confounded him with her sweetly nuanced mannerisms, her ability to weave around a conversation effortlessly, and her unwavering trust in her own instincts. Did he even know this girl anymore? The tiny, pale bio-android girl with boy-cut hair who had trouble having normal verbal exchanges because her mind jumped to too many places, couldn't handle the hormonal overload of a teenage crush to the point of fainting, and always had a "right" answer because everything was black and white, this girl was no longer.

And upon further reflecting, he had to admit, she was rather unnatural in her younger stages, because what he got to see every week now was a person who, despite her ongoing shyness, had the control, drive, and authority to lead one of the most distinguished Clans to grace their country, yet still appreciated and nurtured little displays of compassion.

He was jarred from his thoughts at the hissing open of Ino's office door. Instead of hearing the blonde doctor's naggy voice, he was surprised to hear Shino.

"Shikamaru, are you ill?" he asked, though not sounding entirely concerned.

The Captain laughed. Here he was, laying on a leather chaise lounge like some fainted damsel. He must have been quite a sight. "No, I'm just doing some thinking." He sat up to address his friend face-to-face, and noted that the Aburame looked anxious. "Is something the matter?"

"Well," he pulled his communicator out of his pocket and started dialing. "I'm honestly not sure. Tayuya was looking for you and insisted that she speak to you. Apparently, Genma called her with good news."

"Genma?" Shikamaru furrowed his brow in thought. What could the Spec Op have to tell him? He took his own communicator out of his pocket and dialed Genma. Shino had stepped off to the side and it sounded like he was confirming with Tayuya that he'd found Shikamaru.

"Yes, I just told him. He's calling him now...Are you sure you're feeling well? You still sound a bit shaken...If you feel it's necessary, I'm sure Shikamaru would grant you leave for the rest of the day..."

Captain Nara chuckled to himself. _If only Shino knew._ Within a few rings, Genma picked up the line.

_"Heeey, Shikamaru! You got Tayuya's message from me?"_

"Of course," The Captain answered. "Is this something that requires a secure line?"

On Shikamaru's small communicator screen, he saw Genma's face draw closer. _"It's my personal communicator, so we're secure enough. I just wanted to tell you two Sound operatives have been frequenting the Auburn Dawn for the last few months."_

The young captain's eyes widened, "Sound? Do you recognize them?"

The older man shook his head, _"No, I've been out of the game too long. My dossiers aren't up-to-__date. Actually, let me get Tayuya on the line."_

With a few punches into the keys, Shikamaru's screen split to reveal Tayuya.

_"What the fuck- I just TOLD Shino I felt FINE. I can work the rest of the day, Shikamaru, I swear!"_

"That's not the issue, Tayuya, if you hadn't noticed that Genma is on the line as well," Shikamaru deadpanned.

Genma chose to break the news without preamble, _"Hey Boss, two Sound operatives have been coming here for the last few months. Shikamaru needs your help identifying them, and I've been out of the game too long to know who these kids are."_

Tayuya scoffed, _"What makes you think I know shit about them? I've been a Konohan for years now."_ After a pause she added belatedly, _"But maybe Sasuke can help. HEY, SASUKE! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!"_

Shikamaru put a finger in his ear to ease the ringing Tayuya's shrill yell caused, and now found Sasuke's face huddled in with Tayuya's.

_"Yes Captain?"_ the Uchiha greeted.

"Sasuke, it seems there are two Sound operatives on the Space Station, and you're the one with the most recent knowledge to identify them."

The retired Spec Ops contributed, _"I have their information from the payment cards they use here. I'm forwarding it now."_

Within a few seconds, both Tayuya's and Shikamaru's phones received the download and their screens opened up to two pictures, a silver-haired man with a shark-tooth grin, and a redhead with wild hair and thick black-framed glasses. The names the payment cards had for them were obviously aliases. The pictures were minimized and Shikamaru's three phonemates were revealed again.

_"The man is Hozuki Suigetsu, and the woman is Karin. They were Kimimaro and Tayuya's replacements as my subordinates,"_ Sasuke informed them. _"If it's those two wandering around the Space Station, then they could only be there for one thing."_

The usually unfazed Tayuya looked uncharacteristically worried, _"Temari and Hinata?"_

The Uchiha nodded, and Tayuya cursed.

Shikamaru ran his hand roughly over his ponytail, "Well dammit, this puts a kink in things. First, we'll have to tell the girls they can't leave the ship–"

_"Shikamaru,"_ the former Sound woman interrupted, _"That's the problem, they're not on the fucking boat anymore."_

"What?"

_"I overheard the girls and their escorts talking this morning in the mess hall, and they were planning on going out as soon as we docked. And that was almost two hours ago."_

"What a time to have a field trip," Shikmaru muttered. "Okay, we'll need to send out a couple of officers, keep it low-key, they only need to find the group, so no need to make a spectacle of it."

_"Uh, Shikamaru, they're not all together..."_ Tayuya cut in again.

"Pardon?"

_"I overheard the girls SEPARATELY with their escorts. I think they're on dates."_

This left the Captain a bit gobsmacked, "I'm sorry?"

_"You'll need two search parties."_

"They're on dates?"

The long-silent Genma cleared his throat, _"Uh, since it sounds like you've got things covered on your end, I'm just going to go now. Keep business up and all. See ya, Boss."_ And his half of the screen closed.

Shikamaru stood there, staring at his screen for a few seconds before Shino stepped in and took the communicator from his hand and addressed the two former Sound members.

"Sasuke, Tayuya, thank you for your assistance. We'll take care of it from here," and he ended the call. He turned to his Captain, "Shikamaru, your orders?"

The Captain looked like something else was on his mind, but he answered, "Let's not sound an alarm, it'll only make things worse. See if you can't reach any of them by communicator first. In the meantime, notify Lee, Tenten, and Moegi. The Academy's orientation should be finished by now so they can run a search since they're already in the Station."

The Tokubetsu Jounin knew there was something else bothering his longtime friend, and he suspected he knew what it was. But now wasn't the time to bring it up. Instead, he left the captain to his thoughts in the psychiatrist's office to follow the orders given. This was an issue the Nara had to resolve within himself.

Left alone again, Shikmaru couldn't help but cling to that one bit of information Tayuya revealed to him. _They're on dates._ Specifically, _she_ was on a date. And it dawned on him, in quite possibly the most inopportune and inappropriate moment, that the fear that reared its head that evening six months ago was because for the first time, he saw Hinata as a _woman._

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

HIIIII! Yup, still updating this old thing. Things are getting a move-on - the plot, the internal examinations to get the relationships progressing, etc.

Anyway, I want to THANK YOU ALL FOR REVIEWING AND FAVING and I'm so sorry I've been crappy about updating this. It's just that it's my very first fanfic, and I'm kind of a perfectionist with this story. I want it to be something to be proud of. And that sometimes means going months without updating -_-; But I hope those of you sticking around still enjoy it. Again, thank you so much!


	19. The Auburn Dawn

They weren't even a full day off the boat and trouble was amiss already. Tenten had just received word from both Kiba and Captain Nara himself that not only were there known Sound associates prowling the Allied Space Station, but that the bio-androids were also roaming about as unknowing prey. And just to put on the pressure, they were relying entirely on the three reconnaissance team members already on the Station to find them and bring them back to dock immediately. She understood it was for subtlety's sake: She, Lee, and Moegi had previously-established and legitimate reasons for being there, and Shikamaru wanted to delay word spreading of the _Keima_'s docking by not sending out a fully-armed search party.

The brunette sucked in her lips and took a deep calming breath. For all his skill, ambition, and battle-savvy, Lee was _not_ subtle. At all.

"TENTEN, WE MUST COMMENCE OUR SEARCH FOR THE FAIR LADIES OF HYUUGA AND SABUKUNO THIS INSTANT! THEIR LIVES ARE DEPENDENT UPON OUR SUCCESS!"

On Tenten's communicator, Moegi could be seen attempting to shake the ringing out of her ear from Lee's exuberant outburst. _"Lee-senpai, don't you think you should be a little bit quieter about the whole situation? I'm sure we'd increase our chance of successfully extracting the Ladies Hyuuga and Sabakuno if we kept this classified mission classified."_

Thankfully, Lee and Tenten were in their quarters in the instructors' wing deep in the Academy bunkers, otherwise Tenten would've stopped Lee cold at "commence." Instead, she was smiling at her hapless teammate.

"Lee, considering our positions, I think it would be best if we went out together, minimal weaponry, as shopping tourists. Moegi, you'll have to go out on your own. It'd be incredibly suspicious for a first-year student to be familiar with two instructors this early."

"_Of course, Tenten-senpai."_

"Alright! We'll charge in undercover and if we have no results in an hour's time, we shall regroup and contact Kiba-kun for further instruction!" Lee directed before clapping in what looked to be his own one-man huddle, before following Tenten out of their quarters.

"Oh! I mustn't forget my wallet!", Lee amended, doubling back, "We must present a believable front! And I actually am in need of new socks!"

=:=:=

After months of tolerating his aggravating presence, Suigetsu finally managed to do _something_ useful, Karin thought. Hanging out at a brothel in the seedier part of the downtown area yielded highly desirable information: the _Keima_ was currently docked at the Space Station, according to some of his whore friends looking to score some high-paying officers.

A quick call to their master earned them concise instructions – get complete brainscans of the two bio-androids and they can finally return to home base.

Only a superficial scan was needed, nothing complicated, so it wasn't like they'd have to approach and attack the bio-androids and any possible guards. So long as they could keep a scan receiver close to a bio-android's head for thirty seconds, they were set. Of course, it was all easier said than done. How would a complete stranger just walk up to known nobility holding a questionable instrument to their cranium without suspicion? And that's _if_ they'd ever even come across the bio-androids on the gigantic space station.

Just as Karin and Suigetsu began contemplating speed-training in the hair styling trade, they caught sight of Lady Hyuuga Hinata and a goofy-looking Konoha officer strolling through the shopping district. They didn't have to tail them very far to find the Lady and her escort heading straight into the Auburn Dawn, setting up shop right at the bar. A lucky break to be sure, except for the fact that they were just in there, and a repeat visit would surely attract the attention of the toothpick-chewing managing bartender. Suigetsu, doing the second most useful thing ever while the two Sound agents were stuck on that station, forged an official-looking communicator message to the Auburn Dawn management regarding an extra liquor shipment waiting at the docks to be straightened out.

A mere ten minutes later, the managing bartender was out the door, leaving the supper club in the hands of more gullible staff, and Karin made herself as inconspicuous as possible as she made a beeline for the restaurant's restroom with Suigetsu keeping an eye out from a shadowed alley between a produce stall and a dry goods market across the way.

From Karin's observation, the way the Hyuuga woman was pounding down the drinks, it was only a matter of time before she had to take a bathroom break. So the redheaded Sound agent made herself comfortable in a toilet stall and waited for the inevitable. How she'd perform a brainscan in a bathroom was something to worry about when the time came.

=:=:=

"I-I suppose I should've known better than to shop for clothes while I'm...in this state," Hinata sighed, though not unhappily. "But thank you very much for accompanying me, Kankurou-kun."

The Suna lieutenant, matching Hinata's impossible-to-hide regal strides with his own relaxed ones, merely shrugged, "But it was worth getting out and exploring a bit, right?"

"Oh yes! Of course!," the young woman nodded fervently. "I-it's nice to see a different set of faces right about now." Kankurou was not ignorant of the tight-lipped sadness that punctuated the last part, and it only served to remind him that he was sucking royally at cheering the girl up. But he still had one last card up his sleeve. He took a glance at his watch.

"Well, well, looks like it's about time we head to our last destination, Hina-chan." he announced with his tried and true wink-and-smile combo.

Hinata gazed back questioningly, "But shouldn't we head back to the _Keima_ for dinner? I'm almost certain the mess hall has limited hours when it's docked..."

"Don't worry about that, just come on!" Kankurou replied while grabbing her hand. "I heard about this place through a friend, and it's supposed to be _really_ amazing. It's actually nearby, just down this block."

Hinata was forced to strengthen her grip on her escort's hand as he pulled her through the bustling crowds of the main thoroughfare of the shopping district. The hand squeeze drew Kankurou's attention, and he couldn't help the swell of manly pride that warmed him that his modest charge now trusted him enough to hold his hand without discomfort.

A few shops and eateries down the block and Kankurou guided her to the door of Auburn Dawn. It belatedly registered to Hinata, thanks to her endless memory banks full of information uploaded by the Konoha military, that this was the restaurant Tayuya had worked so hard to establish to celebrate her new Konoha citizenship. And she positively beamed that she now had the opportunity to partake in her dear friend's product of a hard-earned fresh start.

Unsurprisingly, the establishment was filled nearly to capacity. Hinata was quite familiar with Tayuya's excellent cooking – it was what moved her from POW-status to gainfully employed on the most advanced prototype ship of the Konoha fleet. And apparently, her cocktails were just as good as her cooking, judging by how crowded and raucous the bar was.

Kankurou guided them up to the hostess' podium where he informed them of their reservation.

"You made prior reservations?" Hinata asked. She had no idea her escort went so far as to plan their evening after her emotional psychiatric appointment earlier in the afternoon.

"Well, I kinda had to, I mean, just look at how crowded it is!" Kankurou laughed off. He was well aware of her flushing face, and wondered if people actually going out of their way to cheer her up was a new experience for her. Granted, she didn't seem the type to show any sort of upset to begin with, but he knew that was a personality quirk of hers, and not some lacking emotional development of a bio-android.

The two Suna diplomats took their seats at a far corner table with a small tea-light in a glass mosaic holder as their ambiant lighting. Kankurou noted that his charge seemed nervous with the overcrowded surroundings – she kept reaching for what she expected to be long blue hair to twist on her fingers before realizing she had to reach higher to twist unruly blonde hair. It was a fidgety motion he remembered her having as a child.

In an attempt to ease her, he broke their amiable silence. "So, I've been told the food here is great. I've never actually been here myself, so it's all word of mouth through a friend, but I'm sure all these people are here for good reason."

The blonde Hyuuga looked up with a genuine smile, "O-oh yes, it's remarkable."

"Oh? You've come here before?" the lieutenant inquired, brows quirked in surprise.

The young woman shook her head, "No, actually, it's my first time here as well. I just know the owner. I know first-hand that her cooking is phenomenal." Tayuya's identity as the owner was still considered classified information, so she left her explanation at that. It was enough to satisfy Kankurou anyway. "I'm very glad you brought me here. I'd been hoping to come for a while now, but I could never find the time."

The Subakuno nodded, "Yeah, I'm sure your schedule's been booked through and through what with pulling double duties as Clan Matriarch and tutoring your sister to take the helm after you."

Their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of their waiter. While Hinata made small-talk about the variety of dishes, Kankurou quickly debated ordering alcohol. Looking across the table at his companion with her open smile, the shy way her eyes would drop and cheeks would pink if she felt slightly overwhelmed by personal attention, this muted brand of beauty was making him a little heady, and it was getting very odd seeing it _on his sister's face_. That was a very strong NO to alcohol. A clear head was needed to survive this evening without regrets. But he knew once she was safe in her room, he was going to get some hard spirits in his system because damn it all, this was really unfair.

He quickly placed his own order, with an accompanying soda, before the waiter dismissed himself and they were left alone again.

Hinata easily picked them up where they left off. "So is Temari-nee kept busy too?"

Somehow, talking about his sister when staring at a woman he was quickly finding quite attractive _despite_ being in his sister's body felt both relieving and awkward. "E-er, yes, Gaara and I are a real handful for her, I'm sure. She definitely has her work cut out for her keeping us in line."

"Gaara-sama, kept in line," Hinata giggled, "Or just you?"

"Hey now," the elder Suna brother grinned, "I hope you're not implying that _I'm_ the rowdy one. Okay, I am, but Gaara's got his ways, trust me."

"Well," Hinata recovered from her laughing, "I suppose I'm also surprised that Temari-nee is the militant one. She was always causing some kind of trouble when we were children."

"Hey, don't put that halo on just yet," Kankurou countered with a finger wag, "I recall quite clearly you were always running right behind her."

The woman's blue eyes lit up in reminiscence, "Yes, I admired her greatly. I still do...she really played a large part in my growth."

At that moment, a rousing whoop cut through the already rising din at the bar, and Kankurou and Hinata's attention was drawn to the head of wild, sunny blond hair of Lieutenant Uzumaki as he cheered with a drink in one hand, and wrapped an arm around the neck of a laughing blue-haired Temari fighting him off half-heartedly.

Whatever Hinata was going to say next choked and died in her throat when she saw the two. Temari was laughing? She was enjoying herself? With _Naruto_? It was enough to make her forget to breathe for a moment and she found herself gasping involuntarily when her lungs demanded it.

Lieutenant Sabakuno inwardly groaned at what was playing before him. He was just starting to feel at ease with his evening and suddenly the source of his dinner companion's anxiety had to appear. It was really the shittiest timing ever. Very gently, he placed his hand on hers.

"Hinata, are you okay?" he asked in lowered tone.

The girl nodded fervently, "Yes, yes. I'm fine. It just caught me off-guard. I just-"

She was interrupted by another drunken yelp. Kankurou wanted to throw the mosiac glass candle holder at Uzumaki's head, but then saw the younger man had grabbed Temari's head and landed a full messy kiss on her that seemed to encompass the whole of her lower face. Temari was trying with all her strength to loosen his grip, but Hinata's physically weaker body was no match for him.

It was the loud clatter of a chair upturning that finally broke the kiss, and Temari immediately sobered at the flash of sandy blond rushing by toward the bathroom next to the restaurant's kitchen. A quick scan of the tables on the other side of the room revealed her brother glaring daggers at her and her drinking buddy.

"Shit."

Naruto coughed into his drink laughing, "Pfffhahahaha, Hinata! You just cursed! The drinks are getting to youuuu~!"

The blue-haired woman elbowed him in the ribs roughly, forcing the man's arm that was about to land over her shoulders to draw back and rub his side protectively. "Knock it off, Naruto."

"Heheheh...wha? Aw, lighten up, I was kidding. You're really fun once you get a beer or five in you! Really!"

She remained silent and stared in the direction of the bathroom.

"H-hey," Naruto tried to regain her attention. "Did I take it too far? I'm really sorry, I didn't think the kiss would bug you, and we were having such a good time, and-"

"SHUT IT, UZUMAKI."

Naruto took a step back. Hinata's eyes looked like they were about to cry, but her face was all pain and fury. He wasn't sure if it was directed at him, but he was still sorry for whatever it was that upset her.

Hinata ran her hands over her face muttering something about being seen, and maybe it was the alcohol, but he was really feeling more lost with every passing second.

"Who saw what? What's going on?"

She didn't look at him and spun around on her barstool as if debating whether to leave. "God fuck it, she saw us, and I was careless, and I let it go too far."

"But _who_ saw us?" Naruto repeated, even though he knew Hinata wasn't even talking to him.

Without so much as a glance back at him, she swept off uttering, "Hinata."

It took a full minute in his tipsy haze to realize what she had just said.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

OH GOD I'M SO SORRY I'M SLACKING ON THIS. But I did want to give a serious heartfelt THANK YOU to all the readers and reviewers. This is easily my least popular story, but it gets the best quality reviews I've ever received, for both here AND DeviantArt, and it seriously makes me want to cry in appreciation. Like my silly and unlikeable baby is finally winning over a few people, ya know? And really, this story is never far from my mind. In some way, I'm always toying with it, always working some scene or even just a nifty one-liner around in my head. Sure, it may take me ages to finish this thing, but IT WILL FINISH.

Also, on an unrelated note, I'm TOTALLY ANNOYED that fucked up my section breaks in previous chapters. Now the damn chapters run-on like whoa and I hate it.


	20. Girls in the Powder Room

One of the first things Captain Nara designed in his prototype ship, to precisely no one's surprise, was comfortable, home-y living quarters for himself and his crew. They may be living and working in the cold deadness of space, but they didn't have to be constantly reminded of it.

Yet as soft as his deer suede couch was, or how plush the dense-pile carpeting was, Shino noticed his longtime friend was sitting like he was on a spiked bench.

The Aburame himself was situated cozily in a rather deep armchair, elbows on the rests and fingers clasped in front of his face, quietly observing his captain over the rims of his dark glasses. Not that Shikamaru would've noticed his audience, since he was staring raptly at his and Shino's communicators sitting silently next to each other on the coffee table.

He could understand his old friend's anxiety and frustration—because of their rank and deep involvement in the bio-android project, they were deemed invaluable, nearly as much as Temari and Hinata themselves. Which meant, unfortunately, they were unceremoniously banned from leaving the _Keima _to assist in retrieving the girls. Shino fully understood that should the worst happen to the two most valuable citizen soldiers to ever exist, the higher-ups would at least settle for having Shikamaru and himself alive and well to essentially create H-1178 and T-3177 all over again.

It was a thought that sickened Shino. And he suspected it affected Shikamaru the same way, though perhaps slightly differently, considering observations through the years between the captain and one particular Lady.

_But_, the Jounin Lieutenant reminded himself, _this was assuming the worst._ One could expect the worst, but there was always room to hope for the best.

"I'm confident that they will be perfectly fine," Shino reassured in his typical stark tone.

"Yeah, yeah...I'm sure she is, too," Shikamaru half-heartedly and half-attentively answered.

"...Hm." A dark brow arched above dark lenses.

...

Temari blustered her way to the back of the restaurant, not entirely sober but still well aware enough to know she might have just completely screwed up the most important personal connection she had in her life.

_Shit, Hinata's body's alcohol tolerance is non-existent,_ she bemoaned to herself. She didn't even finish the lightweight wine cooler she had ordered, and the relatively straight line from the threshold she stood at to the door of the ladies' room was quickly turning into a crooked adventure in hallway sciences. This probably wasn't the best state to be in to attempt some damage control, but she wanted to nip at the bud whatever Hinata's reaction could be. Then again, what could she possibly say? "Hey, sorry, I kind of made out with the guy you'd been crushing on for your entire life while in your body" wasn't one of those things one would find in those sentimental greeting cards.

Temari pulled midnight blue hair from her face and took a deep breath as she stood in front of the ladies' room door. When she felt ready she stepped up to the threshold, expecting it to automatically slide open as all public restroom doors should. She jostled the handle and attempted to manually open the door. It was deadbolted.

_Crap, is she that mad at me?_

"Hinata?" She knocked on the door lightly. "Hinata, are you blocking the door?"

Light rustling on the other side was Temari's only response. This was...not the reaction Temari had expected. Then again, it wasn't like either of them had experienced this sort of intense emotional output before.

"Please, Hina-chan, open the door? I just...I need to explain what happened."

More rustling, maybe a small whimper.

"You know what? This is okay," Temari pressed her head to the door. "You don't need to say anything. Just please listen, and don't hate me too much."

The Suna woman heard what could've been shuddering breaths and took that as a sign to continue. "I am so, so sorry, Hinata. None of this was supposed to go as far as it did." She squeezed her eyes shut at the responsive thump from the door. "I never, ever forgot how you felt about Naruto. Not once, I swear. But I think somewhere down the line, I forgot how _I _was supposed to feel about him."

Was it her imagination, or was the rustling sound starting to build up?

"I just kept telling myself, 'I'm doing this for Hina-chan, this is all just an act, once this whole thing is over things will be back to normal.' But things just..._happened_, I don't know how, and I found I wasn't acting anymore." Temari knew she was rambling, and it sounded really dumb out loud but she really couldn't stop it now. "We were stuck together for so _long_, and things just progressed and, god, I don't know. I just...I don't know how to process any of this..."

She belatedly started wiping at her eyes when she realized she was crying. Did tears normally just pour out like this?

Temari swallowed and felt the salty sting move down her throat. "Is it...like this for you? Not with Naruto...but you know who I mean. Just looking at him, and not feeling anything at first for years and years, and suddenly your insides just clench when you're around him. And it physically _pains_ you to your core when you think, 'This person, this _stupid_, idiotic person doesn't know who _I am_, he doesn't see _me_, and I really wish that he did.' "

It was dreadfully silent on the other side of that bathroom door. Perhaps Temari hit a nerve.

"Don't worry, I don't think anyone else has noticed the way you've started looking at him. Maybe it's because it's me, but I've seen your face. Er, my face?" Temari corrected herself. "You...you never really looked at Naruto that way. And you're certainly not looking at Kankurou that way, and he's already taken you out on a date," she laughed a little, pushing long dark hair behind her ears and away from wet cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Hina-chan, please forgive me." Temari pressed her hand to the door, as if hoping to feel some warmth from her oldest and dearest friend from the other side.

Instead of warmth, she received a deafening smack against the door, and clatter of metal of hitting tile floor, and rustling, and _scuffling_, and -

Doing what she was taught at a very early age _not _to do despite having the ability to do so, Temari focused on amplifying every electrical current jumping through her synapses, every miniscule magnetic pulse between cells, and shot an electromagnetic pulse out of her hand positioned at the electronic deadbolt of the door, blowing it out in an explosive short-circuit. She shouldered the sliding door open as hard as she could and found a wild-eyed redhead clinging onto Hinata's back like a gigantic tarantula, one arm muffling Hinata's mouth, the other in a stranglehold around her neck. Hinata, taking advantage of Temari's stronger body, was doing her damnedest trying to thrash the psycho off of her by swinging into the walls, the sinks, the stall doors, _anything._

The blonde woman quickly took in the situation and what she had to work with: a smaller body she has never used in a combat situation, built more for speed, finesse, and agile defense. It was clear Hinata was doing her best working with Temari's body, which was trained for aggressive melee and sheer strength. _Damn it all, whatever works will work, _she thought.

With a mighty grunt, Temari gunned it into a running tackle sideways into the other two women, smashing them all into a row of electric hand dryers against the wall. There was a squilching _pop_, and the strange woman yelped in pain, her now dislocated arm losing its grip around Hinata's neck. Hinata crumpled to the floor, barely conscious and gasping for air.

She didn't know what the hell was going on, but Temari was positive this crazy chick was going to suffer the ass-beating of a lifetime now that she joined the party. She stood above the the girl lying on the floor, with eyes the same color as her scarlet hair, and with slow deliberate grace, placed a heavily-booted foot right on the dislocated arm, and did a grinding twist. She had to give this stranger credit – she let out only a grunting moan through gritted teeth.

"Who are you." Temari gave no tone of inquiry, only of command.

"No one you know," the other woman replied, rather snarkily.

Temari leaned forward on the foot on the injured arm. "Enlighten me."

The redhead didn't answer, but blinked rapidly as the pain in her shoulder intensified.

Off to the side, Hinata was regaining her faculties, holding herself up at a sink as she steadied her breathing. "L-look at her face, Temari," she rasped between breaths. "Really look."

Temari stared down at the woman who was defiantly staring right back up at her. The red hair was wild and covering at least half her face, but upon closer inspection, if the eyes were a different color, if the hair was a different texture and not quite so bright...

The woman grinned, "Find something familiar?"

_More than familiar, she looked just like... _The answer hit Temari, and the redhead took the opportunity to use Temari's foot as an anchor and with a slick _fump_, popped her shoulder back into its socket. The split second of imbalance was enough for the woman to sweep Temari at the knees and knock her on her back, banging her head harshly against tile. She made a diving grab for the brain wave scanner that Temari only now noticed was on the floor, but couldn't make a grab for it herself what with the starry haze from hitting her head and a bit of that wine cooler earlier.

Luckily, Hinata was quick to throw herself at their attacker, and they both crashed into the waste bin, grasping at collars, hair, throats, anything they could to keep the other away from the scanner. After a few seconds, the wild woman gained the upper hand, taking advantage of Hinata's unfamiliarity with the mechanics and potential of her body, She heaved Hinata over the sink and smashed her headfirst and smashing the mirror. Hinata could feel warmth oozing from her crown but maintained her grip on the other woman, even wrapping a leg around her to keep her in place as they continued to wrestle.

The scarlet woman only used this move of desperation to shove her forearm into Hinata's throat, the poor girl feeling the all-too-familiar oxygen deprivation again way too soon. Temari, still woozy, made a grab for Hinata's leg still wrapped around the redhead, and thanked whatever above her that Hinata wore these particular boots. She yanked at the bootstrap, unsnapping the safety strap and unsheathing a ceramic knife that she promptly lined up neatly with the stranger's jugular, and grabbed the girl across the face to keep her chin up.

The three of them stayed in this locked position, Hinata half-strangled on the sink, eyes fluttering and head bleeding, Temari unsteady on her feet but hands firm with a knife on the enemy caught between the two of them. And a second after feeling what she thought could be a smile against her hand, Temari felt the stranger bite hard into her palm, blistered and burned from the earlier electromagnetic pulse. Temari screamed and fell away, and with her departure their attacker gained torque and punched Hinata in the kneecap to free the leghold.

With Hinata fallen and completely passed out on the floor, the vicious woman turned to Temari huddling over her injured hand.

"Your lord must miss the original if he made a second version," Temari sneered.

In answer, the redhead kneed her square in the chest, knocking the breath out of her. She finished it off with a right hook at the noblewoman's face that rendered her unconscious. A half minute was spared to scan the downed woman's brain waves.

"Whatever you may think you know of this face, attach only one name to it: Karin."

She pulled out her thick, black-rimmed glasses, swept her hood over her head, and quietly slipped out of the bathroom and out the back door through the kitchens as a rosy-cheeked military fresh meat in new recruit uniform yelled at restaurant staff that she was absolutely _not_ underage and was just trying to check on some friends she saw go into the bathroom.

...

The vacuum of silence in the captain's quarters was broken with the comparatively deafening ringing of his communicator, which Shikamaru couldn't seem to answer fast enough with fumbling fingers.

"Did you find them?" he blurted out before even registering who was on the communicator screen.

"_Captain, it's not good,"_ Tenten replied gravely. Captain Nara could see white tile and walls behind her, and heard a door crashing open followed immediately by two frantic and familiar male voices cursing up a storm and asking what in the _fuck_ just happened. The unmistakable voice of Rock Lee held no vigor or enthusiasm as he commanded the other two men to calm down.

Shino positioned himself within Tenten's view on the communicator screen and further inquired, "What is their status?"

"_Injured. Unconscious. They were attacked."_

Very near the worst had happened, Shikamaru thought. "Get them out of there as inconspicuously and quickly as possible. We can't risk their security outside of Konoha space."

Tenten looked perplexed, _"Do you have any recommendations? We're in a restaurant bathroom in the middle of the station's main thoroughfare."_

"The viaducts," Shino answered. "I'll upload a map to your communicator. One leads from the alley behind the kitchen directly to the docking bay."

"_Then we'll meet you in the Keima med bay shortly. Tenten out."_

_..._

The sunny blond Lieutenant Uzumaki trailed the somber group through the viaducts, utterly confused about the events that had just unfolded. Confused, angry, hurt, all those standard emotions that come with discovering one was being lied to, and being the ONLY one who didn't know. Up ahead, Kankurou carried Hinata—or was it Temari? Oh hell, she LOOKED like Temari—head bandaged and body covered by Kankurou's jacket, while Lee carried the Hinata-looking girl, whose breaths were alarmingly rattly and loud.

Seeing both of the women like this only fueled his frustration: did Granny Tsunade think that not informing him fully of the situation would make him more capable of protecting them? The whole time he thought he was just meant to keep the beautiful Lady Hyuuga company, and perhaps ward off a couple of weirdos here and there. He had no idea they were completely switched of their bodies, and therefore vulnerable to terrorist attack. Why would they hide that from him? He felt disgusted, with himself for not making himself more trustworthy, for not paying attention to those details that were now all too clear, and with his superiors, for _letting_ this happen. But most of all, he felt the bitter sting of betrayal that the woman he had fallen for, the Lady Hinata of the noble clan of Hyuuga, was not his Hinata at all.

He watched as Lee's strides made the unconscious woman's dark blue hair swing in tandem. How much of what he saw was Hinata? How much of it was Temari? And if that fire he saw behind the flash of white eyes was meant to be found in deep teal, would it be the same?

* * *

**Author's Note:**

It's hard writing fights. But hey, three-way chick fight, hey-o!

Despite how long I take writing this damn thing, and how absolutely shitty I am lately with replies, I really really really do appreciate that there are still some folks out there who kinda dig this little bit of sci-fi romance nonsense. And it truly warms my heart that there are people who have been sticking with this thing for over three years. It seriously makes me tear up a bit. You guys are awesome beyond words, honestly.


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